Show, Don

1
Show, Dont Tell

• Making the reader see

2
Illustrate

• Turn the abstract into the concrete by using
  anecdotes (short stories), examples, or
  description.

3
Telling I want to become a doctor because I care
about people.

• Showing I do know that the patients want to
  talk. They want to talk about their children,
  soap operas, even my hometown and roommates,
  basically anything but their medical condition. I
  am happy to oblige. I love to talk and am as
  comfortable talking about whether Brad and
  Angelina will get married as whether Bill and
  Hillary will get divorced.

4
Telling Ive always wanted to help people.

• Showing I remember the ladies at CM Retirement
  Home looking forward to my piano concerts even
  though I played the same three songs every week
  throughout fifth grade. By eighth grade I was
  volunteering at ChildServe, a residential home
  for children with special heath care needs in
  chronic developmental and physical conditions.
  Some of the children communicated by blinking,
  had frequent seizures, or couldn't control their
  movements. Even as an eighth-grader I felt
  completely comfortable with these children,
  playing dolls and reading stories.

5
Be specific

• Avoid generalized language.
• Choose precise nouns and active verbs
  particularize nouns with strong modifiers
  (adjectives, adverbs, phrases, clauses)
• Tap the senses. Use fresh, evocative language to
  connect with readers.

6
Telling The woman was sick. She didnt look
lively at all. She showed symptoms of illness.
She clearly was not herself.

• Showing The woman curled up on the bed,
  unmoving. A sticky film covered her half-closed
  eyes. Her once shiny brown hair appeared tangled
  and matted. She breathed with a harsh, rattling
  sound.

7
Telling At my internship in Guadalajara, I saw a
lot of people in poor conditions. It was
overwhelming but ultimately fulfilling.

• Showing In Guadalajara, families suffered from
  malnutrition and lack of clean drinking water.
  Though many had infections, antibiotics were
  scarce. For a week, the workdays were long, often
  ending well into the night, but the feeling of
  accomplishment tied up in my exhaustion made it
  all worth it. That feeling stays with me today
  and is part of my drive to becoming a doctor.

8
Telling The discipline I have for running
relates to my pursuit of medicine.

• Showing Pounding, rushing footsteps started to
  close in on me. The roar of the crowd echoed as I
  extended my hand to receive the baton As I
  rounded the final stretch of track, I remember
  battling fatigue by contemplating two paths slow
  down and give up my chance of winning to gain
  momentary comfort, or push myself even harder and
  give up momentary comfort to receive greater
  rewards.

9
Telling No one in my family really is connected
to medicine.

• Showing My nearest medical relative was my
  grandmother's first cousin, Dr. Wentworth, who
  stitched my father's head together after a blow
  from his brand new Eddie Mathews' baseball bat.
  ...

10
Telling Biology is a great field, something that
has played a big role in my decision to become a
doctor.

• Showing For me, the study of human biology,
  delving into details of how tissues and organs
  work together to adapt to the environment or to
  repair themselves, is not rote memorization. It
  is an appreciation of the amazing, almost
  inconceivable group of happy accidents that are
  necessary for human life. Biology is elegant and
  I love those "Aha!" moments when it seems that I
  have learned the secret code, the way things work.

11
Showing, Not Telling

• Revision, revision, revision