Show, not tell writing

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Show, not tell writing

• College Essay
• Marcie Belgard

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Show, dont tell

• The college essay prompt often asks you to think
  about the impact of past events.
• The essay, however, never tells the reader these
  thing directly instead, it shows the reader
  through concrete experiences.

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Tell Show
I was not worried.
I had watched my brother slog through it the year
before, knee-deep in homework.
I love playing football.
Would you do something else? my mother
asked. Never, was my answer.
War exploded on our doorstep as the town began to
crumble.
I was scared.
An ugly, blank page glared directly at me.
I am clueless.
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Another Definition of Telling and Showing

• When you tell, the reader does not see the person
  tying his shoes nor does the reader see the
  actual tying of a shoelace.
• When you show, the reader can see what is being
  talked about as though he were viewing a
  picture.  The reader sees the person shift the
  weight of his body to one side while kneeling
  down to tie his right shoe. The writer,
  therefore, is like a painter.

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Another One

• Show writing involves the audience by showing
  them what was said, how it was said, how someone
  moved, what they saw. It takes the audience to
  the scene--makes it come alive for them.
• Tell writing keeps the audience at arm's length.
  It sends the message Stay away! Don't get
  involved. Just skim the surface.

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DON'T SAY THE OLD LADY SCREAMED. BRING HER ON
AND LET HER SCREAM. -Mark Twain
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LETS BE AVID ABOUT SHOW WRITING

• A Action
• V Vivid Verbs
• I Imagery
• D Dialogue

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Which lead is show writing? Why is it better?

• I have worked on many drama productions.
  Recently, I was the student director to Les
  Miserable. Opening night was so exciting. We had
  worked on this production for 11 ½ months.
• Climbing the narrow stairs, I stumble slightly as
  my toe catches the heel of the person in front of
  me. She turns around and smiles anxiously,
  knowing precisely what is going through my mind
  and understanding that my mental self is not in
  this stairwell but up ahead on the stage where we
  will perform. This, this night, is what we have
  worked so hard for the last 11½ months.

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Describe a risk that you have taken and discuss
its impact on your life.

• I had wanted to play junior varsity basketball
  as long as I can remember. I had played on the
  junior varsity team at Hanford and was
  disappointed when I was passed over my sophomore
  year, but now that I was a junior I figured I
  would get the position I wanted. I knew my
  weaknesses and strengths, but I figured my hard
  work and dedication would pay off.

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Using show writing

• Waiting anxiously outside the meeting room for
  my teammate to finish talking to the coaches, I
  paced cold handed around the school. When she
  stepped out of the room, she had a slight smile,
  "Your turn." I could tell that she had made the
  cut, but the question was, would I?

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Describe yourself using show writing

• You will be handed a card with a characteristic
  written on it. DO NOT show the card to anyone
  else! This is very important!

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INSTRUCTIONS

• You will use show writing to describe yourself
  displaying this characteristic. DO NOT use the
  adjective in the piece of writing!

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WHAT CHARACTERISTIC IS BEING DESCRIBED?

• Wheres you lunch? she asked.
• I didnt bring one.
• Opening her bag, she took out a huge sandwich
  wrapped in foil. She quickly brought out a
  plastic knife and cut the sandwich in two.
• Here. I dont need the entire thing.

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Another Example

• Nestled in a quiet corner of the chemistry
  library, I lay against the wall, glasses askew as
  I feign the effects of sleep in an attempt to
  actually induce sleep. Ive found my life here
  on campus the urgency to protest and change,
  the impending debacle of greenhouse gas
  emissions, the hours and hours of Socratic
  circles that lend many answers yet open the doors
  to many new questions. Ive found an expression
  of myself in the city that Ive never found
  anywhere else. Being away from home has changed
  me. I smile and think about how much better my
  life has become. I have found my place.