Walking on Eggshells On CDROM

1
Walking on Eggshells (On CDROM)

• When leaders walk on eggshells it shows. It
  shows in their professional life by the number of
  inappropriate hours far above and beyond what is
  normal. It shows in their leadership style.
  Instead of being able to delegate and let others
  carry out their agreed upon responsibilities,
  they must be involved in every decision, every
  action and every discussion.

2

• Most important, if something goes wrongor is
  perceived to be going wrongthose walking on
  eggshells must bend over backwards to avoid
  cracking eggshells. The more they walk on
  eggshells, the more they over-function. As the
  balance of normal function between pastors and
  congregational leadership becomes disturbed, the
  imbalance begins to evoke certain responses.

3

• One response is leadership unrest. As leaders
  see one leader over-function, they become
  restless. They begin to wonder if their authority
  will be taken away. In their anxiety they often
  become frustrated, angry and threatened. As
  their anxiety builds they will begin various
  defensive positioning ranging from flight to
  fight.

4

• Certainly leaders ought listen to others, be
  receptive to input, consider suggestions and, if
  necessary, adjust the course. Insofar as these
  adjustments are not a function of anxiety, that
  is healthy. But if one changes the course for
  anxious reasons, one is still walking on
  eggshells. Examples of anxious reasons for
  changes might include

5

• 1) Being afraid of what others will think if you
  dont do what they say
• 2) Wanting to please people and avoid ridicule
  and rejection
• 3) Needing to impress yourself and give yourself
  the strokes needed to affirm that youre a good
  person
• 4) Needing to make a point that you are
  competent and
• 5) Being so scared of your own judgmentand
  failurethat youll continue to repeatedly change
  the course so that you never achieve your goal.

6

• When it comes to organization, on a scale of
  1-10, with 10 being OCD, and 1 being total chaos,
  I am a number . . .
• The reason I say this is . . .

7

• The Barna Research Group study of 300 parents
  found that they feel youth workers love their
  kids very much but have little respect for the
  life skills of youth pastors. Youth workers
  received low marks for their organization skills,
  communication with parents, use of time, and
  diplomacy within the church system. I other
  words, parents feel youth workers dont know how
  to apply wisdom to life. Mark Matlock, May/June
  Youth Worker Journal, p. 38

8
Prior Question of Trust

• Is what Im doing, saying, or thinking building
  trust or undermining trust?
• NAU Proverbs 1222 Lying lips are an abomination
  to the LORD, But those who deal faithfully are
  His delight.
• NET Proverbs 206 Many people profess their
  loyalty, but a faithful person--who can find?