Islamic Etiquette of consoling the bereaved

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Islamic Etiquette of consoling the bereaved

• March 15, 2007
• Safar 25, 1428
• Husseini Islamic Center, FL

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Holy Quran 37103 - 111

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Translation 37 103 -111

• 103 So when they had both submitted to Gods
  will, and he had laid him down on his forehead,
  104 We called out to him, O Abraham! 105 You
  have indeed fulfilled the vision! Thus indeed do
  We reward the virtuous! 106 This was indeed a
  manifest test. 107 Then We ransomed him with a
  great sacrifice, 108 and left for him a good name
  in posterity 109 Peace be to Abraham! 110 Thus
  do We reward the virtuous. 111 He is indeed one
  of Our faithful servants.

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General rules

• The Kin of the deceased are consoled
• It is essential that the duty is observed and
  not ignored
• Consoling for three days is sunnah
• Nothing can heal the loss but consolation helps
  to an extent
• Reward of consoling is abundant

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Reward of Consolation

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• As-Sadiq (a) He who consoles a grieved one will
  be dressed at the stopping place on the Day of
  Judgment such that he will be proud of it
  (As-Saduq, Muqni fil-fiqh)
• Holy Prophet (s) Consoling a bereaved brother
  results in getting Paradise (As-Saduq,
  Al-Hidayah bil-Khayr)

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Feeding for three days

• It is sunnah that the bereaved are fed for three
  days because of their preoccupation with the
  death of the deceased. (Fiqh ar-Ridha)
• Doing so is both rewarding and following on a
  sunnah established by the Prophet when he
  consoled the family of Jafar b. Abi Talib (Ibn
  Idrees, As-Saraair)
• Can be done by GKDC or mumineen

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When to console?

• Only after the death, for it is makrooh to talk
  or do things that suggest the person will die
  soon, esp. in front of the sick
• Permissible before and after the burial, though
  the later is better
• Attending a death ceremony is part of
  consolation. If you do not say anything it
  suffices, though better to combine both

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How to console?

• May Allah inspire patience in you and reward you
  for your steadfastness. May He amplify for you
  the reward, have mercy on the deceased and make
  best, the condition of the one who succeeds him
• May Allah grant you the best of consolation,
  fortify your heart to remain patient, and not to
  deprive you of the reward
• Simply say AJARAKALLAH

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Consoling an orphan

• The Prophet (s) He who rubs (masaha) his hand
  over the head of an orphan, having mercy over
  him, Allah will write for him for every hair his
  hand passes over, a good deed (Fiqh ar-Ridha)
• As-Sadiq . . . Allah will grant light (noor) for
  every hair on the Day of Judgement.
• When an orphan cries the arsh shakes

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Miscellaneous

• Do not console those gone astray from the true
  path
• For unbelievers, console if for masliha of the
  ummah
• Pray for their patience, not reward
• Praying of the long life of a unbeliever is
  permissible