Loneliness and Solitude

1
Chapter 12

• Loneliness and Solitude

2
Introduction Missing Our Connection

• Appreciating the condition of aloneness can
  actually enrich our experience of life.
• Loneliness implies a negative experience of
  separation from others.
• Solitude encompasses a positive experience of
  having time to oneself.
• While we enjoy the company of others, we cannot
  fully share with them all we think and feel. In a
  sense we are all alone.

3
Loneliness Wishing for a Traveling Companion

• Loneliness is a painful awareness that our social
  relationships are less numerous or meaningful
  than we desire.
• When we are lonely, we suffer because of our
  longing for a relationship with another person or
  group.

4
Loneliness

• Attempts to avoid the experience of Loneliness
• We develop strategies to avoid the awareness
  of loneliness, such as staying in unsatisfactory
  relationships or keeping busy with work and
  activities, so that we have little time to think
  or to reflect by ourselves, using drugs/alcohol.
• Thoughts and Behaviors that foster isolation
• Self-defeating thinking, negative perceptions
  of others, lack of interpersonal skills

5
Loneliness

• Personality factors
• Low self-esteem, external locus of control
• Mental disorders related to loneliness
• Schizoid personality disorder, Avoidant
  personality disorder, social phobia
• Cultural factors that promote loneliness

6
Loneliness

• The antidote for loneliness is self-development.
• We do not have to seek and find company in order
  to get over loneliness.
• We can start overcoming loneliness by being good
  company for ourselves.
• We might ask ourselves whether we are good
  company accepting of others, possessing goals,
  projects, thoughts and feelings that we are
  willing to share with others.
• If we do not like our own company, we should not
  expect others to want to be with us.
• Develop conversational skills

7
Solitude Alone on This Stretch of Road

• Being alone is a potentially valuable experience,
  which allows the opportunity for self-evaluation,
  reflection, planning, and dreaming.
• Abraham Maslow noted that self-actualized people
  like to spend time alone.

8
Using Cognitive Behavior Therapy to Alleviate
Loneliness

• CBT- modify negative or unrealistic beliefs
• Rational-Emotive Therapy (Albert Ellis)
• Aaron Beck
• Chronically lonely people seem caught in a
  vicious cycle of self-defeating thinking and
  social behaviors.
• Dysfunctional Thought Diary

9
Thought Processes Implicated in Problems Related
to Loneliness, Depression and Shyness

• Depressed people magnify bad experiences,
  minimize good ones, and become unrealistically
  pessimistic.
• They tend to engage in- selective perception,
  have a negative attributional style, self-blame,
  and are less hopeful about the future.
• Depressed people attribute failures and setbacks
  to causes that are stable and global and also
• make internal attributions
• This leads to a sense of hopelessness.
• Depressed people tend to have an external locus
  of control.

10
Overcoming Depression

• Finding meaning in life
• A change in our thinking
• Medications- Antidepressants
• Even with both medication and therapy available
  for treatment of depression, there are many
  people who wage a lifelong battle to overcome it.

11
Shyness

• Shy people show restraint and signs of strain
  when socializing
• They fear being evaluated, embarrassed,
  ridiculed, rejected, and/or found inadequate
• Self-defeating thinking

12
Overcoming Shyness

• Develop social skills
• Making an effort to learn new skills and test
  unrealistic beliefs and attitudes
• Take social risks
• Challenge unproductive beliefs
• There are many ways in which social skills can be
  practiced and mastered, including and
  role-playing.

13
Chapter 12 Review

• What is the difference between loneliness and
  solitude?
• Loneliness implies a negative experience of
  separation from others.
• Solitude encompasses a positive experience of
  having time to oneself.
• How do we often attempt to avoid the experience
  of loneliness?
• We develop strategies to avoid the awareness of
  loneliness, such as staying in unsatisfactory
  relationships or keeping busy with work and
  activities, so that we have little time to think
  or to reflect by ourselves, using drugs/alcohol.

14
Chapter 12 Review

• What thoughts and behaviors foster isolation?
• Self-defeating thinking, negative perceptions of
  others, lack of interpersonal skills, low
  self-esteem, external locus of control
• What is the antidote for loneliness?
• Self-development
• We do not have to seek and find company in order
  to get over loneliness
• We can start overcoming loneliness by being good
  company for ourselves

15
Chapter 12 Review

• What are some benefits of solitude?
• Being alone is a potentially valuable experience,
  which allows the opportunity for self-evaluation,
  reflection, planning, and dreaming.
• How does CBT help alleviate loneliness and
  depression?
• Modifies negative thoughts and unrealistic
  beliefs
• What are some of these negative thought/beliefs?
• Depressed people magnify bad experiences,
  minimize good ones, and become unrealistically
  pessimistic. selective perception, self-blame, a
  sense of hopelessness, an external locus of
  control.

16
Chapter 12 Review

• What are some ways to overcome depression?
• Finding meaning in life, changing our thought
  process, medications
• How can one overcome shyness?
• Develop social skills, make an effort to learn
  new skills and challenge unrealistic beliefs and
  attitudes, take social risks