Gay and Lesbian Families

1
Gay and Lesbian Families
2
What is a Gay/Lesbian Family?

• Families with only Gay/Lesbian Members
• Families with some Gay/Lesbian Members (whether
  they accept them or not)
• Families that embrace their Gay/Lesbian Members
• Families that support a Gay/Lesbian Rights Agenda

3
Gay and Lesbian Parents-Not a New Phenomenon

• Living as straight (even to selves)
• Living in the Closet (out to selves and maybe a
  select few)
• Living out-
• Formerly married, adopting of new partners
  children from former relationships

4
The Marriage Question

• Marriage is a powerful legal and social
  institution that protects and supports intimate
  family relationships by providing a unique set of
  rights, privileges, and benefits.
• Same-sex couples are currently denied the right
  to legally marry anywhere in the United States.
• In Vermont, same-sex couples can have civil
  unions, which confer many of the benefits of
  marriage to couples who are residents. However,
  these unions are not recognized outside of
  Vermont.

5
Canadas Example

• In 2002, a three-judge panel of the Ontario
  Superior Court decided that granting marriage
  licenses only to heterosexual couples violates
  Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
• The court also ordered the federal Parliament to
  officially redefine "marriage" within the next
  two years. Current federal law defines marriage
  as "a union between one man and one woman to the
  exclusion of all others."

6
The Canadian Example- The Plantiffs

• "We're no longer second-class citizens in this
  country, and the time has come for a change," Joe
  Varnell, one of the plaintiffs who sued the
  Ontario government for the right to marry another
  man, said after the ruling. "My relationship is
  validated, and nobody can say we're not a real
  family anymore."

7
How Does the Canadian Decision Impact the United
States?

• Will we be required to recognize foreign same sex
  marriages?
• as a general rule, most foreign marriages
  historically have been respected (that is,
  treated as valid) for most purposes in the United
  States if they were validly entered in the
  country where the couple married under what are
  known as "principles of comity.
• This is a flexible doctrine that says that
  countries generally should respect the legal acts
  of other countries because its important that
  other countries be willing to respect your own
  country's legal acts, and because people should
  not have to worry about whether another country
  won't do so, as they cross borders.

8
Will the United States Recognize Gay Marriages?

• Break into groups of 4.
• Discuss this issue.
• What can you conclude?

9
The Defense of Marriage Act

• In 1996, the "Defense of Marriage Act" (DOMA) was
  passed - limiting the federal definition of
  marriage to exclude same-sex couples. Many states
  have passed similar legislation, further denying
  same-sex couples the protections and recognition
  that heterosexual couples receive.

10
Defense of Marriage Act- May 8, 1996

• Section 7- In determining the meaning of any act
  of Congress, or of any ruling, regulation, or
  interpretation of the various administrative
  bureaus and agencies of the United States, the
  word marriage means only a legal union between
  one man and one woman as husband and wife, and
  the word spouse refers only to a person of the
  opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.
• -Section 1738B- No state, territory, or
  possession of the United States, or Indian tribe,
  shall be required to give effect to any public
  act, record, or judicial proceeding of any other
  state, territory, possession, or tribe respecting
  a relationship between persons of the same sex
  that is treated as a marriage under the laws of
  such other State, territory, possession, or
  tribe, or a right or claim arising form such
  relationship.

11
Because lesbians and gays cannot marry, they have
no right to

• Accidental death benefit for the surviving spouse
  of a government employee
• Appointment as guardian of a minor
• Award of child custody in divorce proceedings
• Beneficial owner status of corporate securities
• Bill of Rights benefits for victims and
  witnesses
• Burial of service member's dependents
• Certificates of occupation
• Consent to post-mortem examination
• Continuation of rights under existing homestead
  leases
• Control, division, acquisition, and disposition
  of community property
• Criminal injuries compensation

12

• Death benefit for surviving spouse for government
  employee
• Disclosure of vital statistics records
• Division of property after dissolution of
  marriage
• Eligibility for housing opportunity allowance
  program of the Housing, Finance and Development
  Corporation
• Exemption from claims of Department of Human
  Services for social services payments, financial
  assistance, or burial payments
• Exemption from conveyance tax
• Exemption from regulation of condominium sales to
  owner-occupants
• Funeral leave for government employees
• Homes of totally disabled veterans exempt from
  property taxes
• Income tax deductions, credits, rates exemption,
  and estimates
• Inheritance of land patents

13

• Insurance licenses, coverage, eligibility, and
  benefits organization of mutual benefits society
  
• Legal status with partners children
• Making, revoking, and objecting to anatomical
  gifts
• Making partner medical decisions
• Nonresident tuition deferential waiver
• Notice of guardian ad litem proceedings
• Notice of probate proceedings
• Payment of wages to a relative of deceased
  employee
• Payment of worker's compensation benefits after
  death
• Permission to make arrangements for burial or
  cremation

14

• Proof of business partnership
• Public assistance from the Department of Human
  Services
• Qualification at a facility for the elderly
• Real property exemption from attachment or
  execution
• Right of survivorship to custodial trust
• Right to be notified of parole or escape of
  inmate
• Right to change names
• Right to enter into pre-marital agreement
• Right to file action for nonsupport
• Right to inherit property
• Right to purchase leases and cash freehold
  agreements concerning the management and
  disposition of public land
• Right to sue for tort and death by wrongful act
• Right to support after divorce
• Right to support from spouse
• Rights and proceedings for involuntary
  hospitalization and treatment

15

• Rights by way of dour or courtesy
• Rights to notice, protection, benefits, and
  inheritance under the uniform probate code
• Sole interest in property
• Spousal privilege and confidential marriage
  communications
• Spousal immigration benefits
• Status of children
• Support payments in divorce action
• Tax relief for natural disaster losses
• Vacation allowance on termination of public
  employment by death
• Veterans' preference to spouse in public
  employment
• In vitro fertilization coverage
• Waiver of fees for certified copies and searches
  of vital statistics.

16
Cultural Variation

• There is a wide range of variation in how
  sexuality is regarded.
• How the individual is regarded varies widely as
  well.
• A few examples follow.

17
The Aleut and Kodiak Islanders

• Among the Aleut and Kodiak Islanders in Southern
  Alaska, for example, a Russian explorer in 1812
  described berdaches, called shopan or achnucke,
  as respected shamans. A Koniag who has an
  Achnucek instead of a wife is regarded as lucky.
  A father or a mother design a son for an Achnucek
  from his infancy, if he seems to them to resemble
  a girl. Kodiak parents would select their most
  handsome and promising boy to raise as feminine.
  His hair was styled like a womans, he was
  dressed in womens clothing, and any facial hair
  was carefully plucked out. At the age of ten to
  fifteen years, he would be married to a wealthy
  man. The husband regarded his boy-wife as a
  major social accomplishment, and the boys family
  benefited from association with their new wealthy
  in-law. Since the boy was treated with great
  respect, this practice seemed to provide a
  no-lose situation for easy social mobility among
  Aleut and Kodiak families.

18
The Lache Indians of Colombia

• It was a law among them that if a woman bore
  five consecutive male children, without giving
  birth to a female, they could make a female of
  one of the sons, when he reached the age of
  twelve that is to say, the could rear him as a
  woman and teach him the habits of a woman,
  bringing him up in that wise. In their bodily
  form and manners they appeared so perfectly to be
  women that no one who beheld them could
  distinguish them from the others, and these were
  known as cusmos and they performed womanly tasks
  with the strength of men, as a result of which,
  when they had attained the proper age, they were
  given in wedlock as women. And indeed the Laches
  preferred them to true women, whereby it follows
  that the abomination of sodomy was freely
  permitted. (As described by a Spanish explorer)

19
Navaho and Lakota Examples

• Williams reports on Navahos the Nadle (man
  woman) are high status individuals. Nadles are
  seen as compassionate and kind, so if a Nadle
  takes an interest in your child, it is
  flattering. They are seen as loving toward
  children, and good parents- since adoption of
  children is common in most American Indian
  societies, Nadle and others in other Nations
  often adopt children
• Ie. Terry Calling Eagle, a Lakota Berdache has
  adopted and raised seven orphaned children.

20
The United States Today

• According to the American Psychological
  Association, "More and more lesbian women and gay
  men are choosing to parent. They are adopting
  children, becoming foster parents, having
  biological children through donor insemination,
  etc., either as single parents or with other gay
  or lesbian co-parents." (Lesbian and Gay
  Parenting A Resource for Psychologists, 1995.)

21
Gay/Lesbian Parenting in the United States Today

• Bisexual and transgender people are also making
  choices to maintain or expand their families.
  While there have always been GLBT parents, there
  has been a recent increase in the number of GLBT
  people who are making that choice and who are
  being visible about it.
• For many years, people assumed that if someone
  was homosexual, bisexual or transgender, they
  either didn't want to or couldn't become parents.
  This is not true. GLBT people are just like
  everyone else - some want to have children and
  some don't. But being gay, lesbian, bisexual or
  transgender is quickly becoming less of a barrier
  to starting a family.

22
Gay/Lesbian Parenting

• For much of GLBT history, parenting was possible
  only if you engaged in a heterosexual
  relationship or marriage.
• GLBT parents had to chose between coming out of
  the closet and losing their family, or staying
  closeted and denying their true selves.
• Now, people who come out in heterosexual
  marriages are able to maintain a relationship
  with their children, while being honest with
  themselves.
• At the same time, thanks to medical advances and
  progressive adoption laws, GLBT couples or
  singles can decide to become parents on their
  own.

23
View Daddy and Papa

• While Viewing the film ask yourself
• What obstacles to they face that other parents
  dont face?
• How do others react to their choices?
• How do cultural stereotypes inform reactions?

24
Research on Gay/Lesbian Parents

• There is no evidence that GLBT people are not
  good parents, or that there are negative
  emotional or psychological impacts on their
  children.
• On the contrary, studies have consistently shown
  that there are no differences in the emotional
  and psychological development between children
  with gay parents or children with heterosexual
  parents. (See the American Psychological
  Association report.)
• There are some negative costs for children of
  GLBT parents, but they come from others
• Unfortunately, young children and teens of GLBT
  parents are subject to anti-gay teasing and
  harassment, regardless of their own sexual
  orientation.

25
Research on Gay/Lesbian Parents

• Like families headed by heterosexual parents,
  lesbian and gay parents and their children are a
  diverse group (Martin, 1993).
• Negative outcomes such as loss of physical
  custody, restrictions on visitation, and
  prohibitions against adoption are additional
  burdens faced by Gay and Lesbian Parents (Falk,
  1989 Editors of the Harvard Law Review, 1990).
• As with all socially stigmatized groups, the
  beliefs held generally in society about lesbians
  and gay men are often not based in personal
  experience, but are instead culturally
  transmitted (Herek, 1991).

26
Understanding the Research

• Systematic research comparing lesbian and gay
  adults to heterosexual adults only began in the
  late 1950s, and research comparing children of
  gay and lesbian parents with those of
  heterosexual parents is of a more recent vintage.
  
• Research on lesbian and gay adults began with
  Evelyn Hooker's landmark study (1957) and
  culminated with the declassification of
  homosexuality as a mental disorder in 1973
  (Gonsiorek, 1991).
• Case reports on children of gay and lesbian
  parents began to appear in the psychiatric
  literature in the early 1970s (e.g., Osman, 1972
  Weeks, Derdeyn, Langman, 1975) and have
  continued to appear (e.g., Agbayewa, 1984).

27
Stereotypes and Assumptions

• One belief that often underlies both judicial
  decision-making in custody litigation and public
  policies governing foster care and adoption has
  been the belief that lesbians and gay men are not
  fit to be parents.
• In particular, courts have sometimes assumed that
  gay men and lesbians are mentally ill, that
  lesbians are less maternal than heterosexual
  women, and that lesbians' and gay men's
  relationships with sexual partners leave little
  time for ongoing parent-child interactions
  (Editors of the Harvard Law Review, 1990).
  Results of research to date have failed to
  confirm any of these beliefs (Falk, 1989, 1994
  Patterson, 1994b, 1995b, 1996).

28
Not a Mental Disease/Defect

• The psychiatric, psychological, and social-work
  professions do not consider homosexual
  orientation to be a mental disorder. More than 20
  years ago, the American Psychiatric Association
  removed "homosexuality" from its list of mental
  disorders, stating that "homosexuality per se
  implies no impairment in judgment, stability,
  reliability, or general social or vocational
  capabilities" (American Psychiatric Association,
  1980).
• In 1975, the American Psychological Association
  took the same position and urged all mental
  health professionals to help dispel the stigma of
  mental illness that had long been associated with
  homosexual orientation (American Psychological
  Association, 1975). The National Association of
  Social Workers has a similar policy (National
  Association of Social Workers, 1994).

29
Parental Fitness

• Lesbian and heterosexual women have not been
  found to differ markedly either in their overall
  mental health or in their approaches to child
  rearing
• Recent evidence suggests that lesbian couples who
  are parenting together tend to divide household
  and family labor relatively evenly and to report
  satisfaction with their couple relationships.
  Research on gay fathers has similarly found no
  reason to believe them unfit as parents.

30
Fears About Gay and Lesbian Parents

• In addition to judicial concerns about gay and
  lesbian parents themselves, courts have voiced
  three major kinds of fears about effects of
  lesbian or gay parents on children.
• 1) Gender Identity Issues
• 2) Childs Personal Development
• 3) Difficulty in Social Relations

31
Gender Identity Issues

• The first general concern is that development of
  sexual identity will be impaired among children
  of lesbian or gay parents. For instance, that
  children brought up by gay fathers or lesbian
  mothers will show disturbances in gender identity
  and/or in gender role behavior.
• It has also been suggested that children brought
  up by lesbian mothers or gay fathers will
  themselves become gay or lesbian.
• No evidence supports either concern.

32
Child Personal Development

• A second category of concerns involves aspects of
  children's personal development other than sexual
  identity.
• For example, courts have expressed fears that
  children in the custody of gay or lesbian parents
  will be more vulnerable to mental breakdown, will
  exhibit more adjustment difficulties and behavior
  problems, and will be less psychologically
  healthy than children growing up in homes with
  heterosexual parents.
• No Evidence appears to support such fears.

33
Difficulty in Social Relations

• A third category of specific fears expressed by
  the courts is that children of lesbian and gay
  parents may experience difficulties in social
  relationships.
• For example, judges have repeatedly expressed
  concern that children living with lesbian mothers
  may be stigmatized, teased, or otherwise
  traumatized by peers. Another common fear is that
  children living with gay or lesbian parents may
  be more likely to be sexually abused by the
  parent or by the parent's friends or
  acquaintances.
• No evidence supports the belief that gays are
  lesbians are more likely to abuse children.