The Bully, The Bullied, and The Bystander Chapters 46

1
The Bully, The Bullied, and The
BystanderChapters 4-6

• Ashley Maguire, Jenna Kreikemeier, Annie
  Jankowski, and Laura Forbes

2
Chapter 4 The Bystander

• Three ways of involvement
• - Standing and watching
• - Looking away
• - Encouraging or joining the bullies
• No sense of responsibility
• Fears of getting involved

3
There is no innocent Bystander

• Followers
• Supporters, Passive Bully
• Passive Supporters, possible bully
• Disengaged onlookers
• Possible defenders
• Defenders of the target

4
4 Reasons for NOT Intervening

• Afraid of getting hurt
• Afraid of becoming new target
• Does not want to make situation worse
• Does not know what to do

5
Chapter 5 It Runs in the Family

• The Brickwall Family
• The Jellyfish Family
• The Backbone Family

6
The Brickwall Family

• Parents are absolute authority
• Threats/violence are enforcements
• Learning atmosphere is fear
• Taught what to think
• Humiliation
• Highly conditional love
• Creates a bully or vulnerable target

7
The Jellyfish Family

• Threats and bribes common
• Inconsistent punishments and rewards
• Highly conditional love
• Lack of structure
• High emotions
• Creates bully, vulnerable target, and bystander

8
The Backbone Family

• Democracy
• Network of support
• Motivation
• Self-Awareness
• Taught how to think
• Unconditional love
• Children less likely to be bullied or bullies

9
Chapter 6 Is There a Bully in the House?

• 4 Markers of Bullying
• Parent involvement
• Factors leading to bullying

10
4 Markers of Bullying

• Imbalance of power
• Intent to harm
• Threat of further aggression
• Terror

11
Parent Involvement

• Should not write off or justify the issue
• Should not punish, should discipline
• Find underlined cause of bullying
• Discipline makes child understand consequences,
  fix problem, empathize with victim

12
Things Parents Can Do

• Intervene immediately with discipline
• Create opportunities to succeed
• Nurture empathy
• Teach friendship skills
• Closely monitor child
• Engaging in more constructive activities
• Teach child to will good

13
Factors Leading to Bullying

• Isolation
• Embarrassment or humiliation
• Shaming
• Emotional Isolation
• Grounding

14
Children learn to care by experiencing good
care. They come to know the blessings of
gentleness, of sympathy, of patience and
kindness, of support and backing, first through
the way in which they themselves are treated.

• -James L. Hymes Jr.
• Teaching the Children Under Six