Chapter 7: Improving Relationships

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Chapter 7 Improving Relationships
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Communication Climatethe emotional tone of a
relationship

• The degree to which a person feels he/she is
  valued in a relationship.
• Created through
• Confirming responses
• Disconfirming responses
• Conflict Spirals

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Messages also have two dimensions

• Content substance of the message
• Relational conveys feelings

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Gibbs CategoriesPeople use behaviors to create
supportive or defensive climates

• Defensive vs Supportive
• Evaluation - Description
• Control - Problem-oriented
• Strategy - Spontaneity
• Neutrality - Empathy
• Superiority - Equality
• Certainty - Provisionalism

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Conflict and Personality
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Personality Profiles
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Conflict and Style

• Most people, tend to react to conflict in one of
  five ways.
• Style may vary and be impacted by the situation,
  but many people tend to rely primarily on 1 or 2
  styles most often.

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Nonassertion

• Do not express feelings
• Achieved through avoidance, accomodation
• Puts other persons needs ahead of your own
• Is it ever the best way to handle conflict?
• Generally Win-Lose You win I lose

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Direct Aggression

• Directly confronts and attacks the other person
• Puts personal needs ahead of the other person
• Generally Win-Lose I win You lose
• Is it ever a valid strategy?

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Passive Aggression

• Express hostility in a vague way
• Lose-Lose If I lose then You lose too.
• AKA Crazymaking
• Pseudoaccomodators
• Guiltmakers
• Jokers
• Trivial tyrannizers
• Withholders

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Indirect Communication

• Conveys information in a roundabout way
• Uses a 3rd party

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Assertion

• Expresses needs, thoughts, and feelings clearly
  and directly
• Asserts own needs without stepping on the needs
  of others
• Win-Win I win You win