Writing Rightly

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Writing Right(ly?)
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The lecture was long, a bore, and uninspiring.

• The lecture was long, boring, and uninspiring.

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Planning a surprise party calls for organizing,
scheduling, and cunning.

• Planning a surprise party calls for organizing,
  scheduling, and scheming.
• Planning a surprise party calls for
  organization, cunning, and scheduling skills.

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He had always preferred talking to listening, and
to give rather than to take direction.

• He had always preferred talking to listening,
  and giving rather than taking directions.

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Her responsibilities were the management of the
PR department and to attend trade shows.

• . . . were to manage the PR department and to
  attend trade shows.
• . . . were the management of the PR department
  and attendance at trade shows.

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She told him to get to the hotel by six oclock,
to check with the concierge for messages, leave
his luggage at the front desk, and to wait there.

• . . . to get to the hotel by six oclock, check
  with the concierge for messages, leave his
  luggage at the front desk, and wait there.

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It may be necessary to either add or subtract
items from this list.

• It may be necessary to either add items to or
  subtract items from this list.

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The revised plan called for lower salaries,
operating budgets, and longer hours.

• The revised plan called for lower salaries,
  lower operating budgets, and longer hours.
• The revised plan called for lower salaries and
  operating budgets, and longer hours.

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Edit for Conciseness

• The most valuable of all talents is that of
  never using two words when one will do.
• - Thomas Jefferson

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1. Prefer Active Voice

• Design development was completed by our team.
  (7 words)
• Our team completed design development. (5
  words)

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• It is expected that the meeting will last an
  hour. (10 words)
• Dan expects the meeting will last an hour. (8
  words)

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Is Passive Voice Always Bad?

• We preinsulated the injection string with
  calcium. Then we insulated a string that had
  been in use earlier. Finally, the production
  casing was prestressed in all wells.

The accident was never investigated.
The procedures should be revised.
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2. Dig Buried Verbs Out of Noun Phrases

• They will perform an analysis of the work done.
  (9 words)
• They will analyze the work done. (5 words)

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• They experienced a reduction in construction
  time by the initiation of slip-dredging
  operations.
• They reduced construction time by slip dredging.
  

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3. Avoid Clutter

• These very important goals will probably provide
  clear direction for your budgeting efforts.

These very important goals will probably provide
clear direction for your budgeting efforts.
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Eliminate Redundancy(Cut the Fat)
Our expertise in student housing is
particularly suited for this type of
project. If youre not sure how to spell
accommo-dations, run the spell-checker to verify
it. The number of shifts worked could be
attributed to various factors such as market
size, labor problems, and management
philosophy.
Our expertise in student housing is
particularly suited for this type of
project. If youre not sure how to spell
accommo-dations, run the spell-checker. to verify
it. The number of shifts worked could be
attributed to various factors such as market
size, labor problems, and management
philosophy.
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Duking It OutComma v. Semicolon
,

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Semicolon as Supercomma
Mackey Mitchell has offices in three cities
Basalt, Colorado, Seaside, Florida, and St.
Louis, Missouri.
Mackey Mitchell has offices in three cities
Basalt, Colorado Seaside, Florida and St.
Louis, Missouri.
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To assemble the structure, youll need a hammer
and a drill size A, B, and D nails
quarter-inch, half-inch, and three-eighths-inch
drill bits and a level.
To assemble the structure, youll need a hammer
and a drill, size A, B, and D nails,
quarter-inch, half-inch, and three-eighths-inch
drill bits, and a level.
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To assemble the structure, youll need a hammer
size A, B, and D nails drill bits and a level.
To assemble the structure, youll need a hammer,
size A, B, and D nails, drill bits, and a level.
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Sentence Sentence.

• Merrilee prefers meeting with the entire team.
  Rachel wants a separate discussion with the
  client.
• Merrilee prefers meeting with the entire team,
  but Rachel wants a separate discussion with the
  client.
• Merrilee prefers meeting with the entire team
  Rachel wants a separate discussion with the
  client.

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• Never glue two sentences together by injecting a
  comma.
• Mark is considered an excellent project manager,
  architects on his teams always learn a lot from
  him.
• Mark is considered an excellent project manager
  architects on his teams always learn a lot from
  him.

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The presentation, however, was a disaster. Id
rather have the report by 800 however, noon
will do.

In fact, the trip was a resounding success.
She thought she was early in fact, she was the
last to arrive.
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• Semicolons indicate a closer relationship
  between ideas than a period does.

This will be an ongoing process it will not end
when the consultants contract is completed.
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• Warning! Overuse May Require a Semicolonoscopy

The drawings were completed on time the client
was pleased.
The client was pleased that the drawings were
completed on time.
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Where did the word threshold originate?