Neighbours, Friends and Families Community Interest Presentation

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Neighbours, Friends and FamiliesCommunity
Interest Presentation
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Presentation Overview

• NFF Website / PSAs / Video
• Background Death Review Committee
• The Campaign Purpose, Partners, Vision
• What information does NFF communicate about woman
  abuse?
• What role can I play?
• How can I involve my community?

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Ontario Death Review Committee Findings

• 2003 Report
• in every case that was examined, family
  members, neighbours, and /or professionals had
  some knowledge of the escalating circumstance
  between perpetrators and victims

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• Ontario Death Review Committee Findings

2004 Report
public education programs need to be
increased to heighten awareness of the warning
signs of symptomatic abusive behaviour and
appropriate courses of action for victims,
perpetrators and others to take in response
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Ontario Death Review Committee Findings

• 2005 report
• the greatest need continues to be educating all
  members of the community about the warning signs
  of domestic violence and the appropriate action
  necessary to prevent itOne example of how to
  raise the awareness about the warning signs of
  woman abuse as well as safety planning and risk
  reduction strategies is the Neighbours, Friends
  and Families Campaign.

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Neighbours, Friends and Families

• Neighbours, Friends and Families is a campaign
  to raise awareness of the signs of woman abuse so
  that people who are close to an at-risk woman or
  abusive man can help

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Neighbours, Friends and Families

• The campaign is a partnership between the
  Ontario Government, Ontario Womens Directorate
  and the Expert Panel on Neighbours, Friends and
  Families, through the Centre for Research and
  Education on Violence Against Women and Children

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Neighbours, Friends and Families

• Since the campaign launch in June 2006, a
  growing number of people have become NFF
  champions in their communities

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• Neighbours, Friends and Families
• The long-term vision of the NFF campaign is that
  communities all across the province will
  implement the campaign and become champions for
  women who are abused

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Neighbours, Friends and Families

• Being a champion means learning to recognize the
  signs of woman abuse and knowing what to do when
  you see it happening
• It also means telling your colleagues,
  neighbours, friends and family about the campaign

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Neighbours, Friends and Families

• The intent of the campaign is to change attitudes
  about woman abuse so that the responsibility for
  preventing it is shared by the whole community
• Domestic violence is everybodys business.
  Sandra Pupatello, Minister Responsible for
  Womens Issues

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• What do I need to know about woman
  abuse?

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Social Context of Woman Abuse

• Woman abuse continues to happen because women are
  not truly equal in our society
• While the act of abuse happens between two
  people, in seeming isolation, a true
  understanding of woman abuse does not exist
  without recognizing the systemic oppression and
  inequality of women

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Social Context of Woman Abuse
Oppression is sustained by the belief that one
gender, race, religion, sexual orientation,
class, age or physical ability is better than
another it occurs because one group or person
has power over another and believes they are
entitled to it
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• How do I know if a woman is being abused?

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Warning Signs

• If you recognize some of these warning
• signs, it may be time to take action
• He puts her down
• He does all the talking and dominates the
  conversation
• He checks up on her all the time even at work
• He tries to keep her away from you
• He suggests he is the victim and acts depressed
• He acts as if he owns her
• He lies to make himself look good and exaggerates
  his good qualities
• He acts like he is superior and of more value
  than others in his home

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Warning Signs

• If you recognize some of these warning
• signs, it may be time to take action
• She may be apologetic and makes excuses for his
  behaviour or becomes aggressive or angry
• She is nervous about talking when he is there
• She seems to be sick more often and misses work
• She tries to cover her bruises
• She makes excuses at the last minute about why
  she cant meet you or tries to avoid you on the
  street
• She seems sad, lonely, withdrawn and is afraid
• She uses more drugs or alcohol to cope

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Signs of High Risk

• The danger may be greater if
• He has access to her and her children
• He has access to weapons
• He has a history of abuse with her or others
• He has threatened to harm or kill her if she
  leaves him He says If I can't have you, no one
  will
• He threatens to harm her children, her pets or
  her property
• He has threatened to kill himself
• He has hit her, choked her
• He is going through major life changes (e.g. job,
  separation, depression)

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• Signs of High Risk
• The danger may be greater if
• He is convinced she is seeing someone else.
• He blames her for ruining his life
• He doesnt seek support
• He watches her actions, listens to her telephone
  conversations, sees her emails and follows her
• He has trouble keeping a job
• He takes drugs or drinks every day
• He has no respect for the law
• She has just separated or is planning to leave

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• Signs of High Risk
• The danger may be greater if
• She fears for her life and for her childrens
  safety or she cannot see her risk
• She is in a custody battle, or has children from
  a previous relationship
• She is involved in another relationship
• She has unexplained injuries
• She has no access to a phone
• She faces other obstacles (e.g. she does not
  speak English, is not yet a legal resident of
  Canada, lives in a remote area)
• She has no friends or family

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Overcoming Your Hesitation to Help
Points to Consider It may be a matter of life
and death. Violence is everyones business Saying
you care and are concerned is a good start
Points of Concern You feel its none of your
business You dont know what to say
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Overcoming Your Hesitation to Help
Points to Consider Doing nothing could make
things worse Police are trained to respond and
to use other resources
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Overcoming Your Hesitation to Help
Points of Concern You are afraid his violence
with turn against you and your family You think
she really doesnt want to leave because she
keeps coming back
Points to Consider Speak to her alone. Let the
police know if you receive threats She may not
have had the support she needed
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Overcoming Your Hesitation to Help
Points of Concern You are afraid she will become
angry with you You feel that both partners are
your friends
Points to Consider Maybe, but she will know you
care One friend is being abused and lives in
fear
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Overcoming Your Hesitation to Help
Points of Concern You believe that if she wanted
help she would ask for it You think it is a
private matter
Points to Consider She may be too afraid or
ashamed to ask for it It isnt when someone is
being hurt
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• What role can I play?

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Learn What To Do

• Learn the 15 warning signs and 23 high risk
  factors
• Recognize that helping women who are abused, or
  at risk, is a socially acceptable behaviour (like
  stopping someone from drinking and driving)
• Talk to the Assaulted Womens Helpline about what
  you have seen
• Call the police in an emergency

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Learn What To Do

• Offer the woman at risk the safety planning
  brochure/card
• Talk to men who are abusive and let them know you
  are concerned for the womans/childrens safety
  and that there is help for them
• Promote the brochures and safety cards in your
  community
• Become a champion in your community

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• NFF Brochures and Safety Cards have also been
  culturally adapted for these languages
• Spanish
• Arabic
• Somali
• Vietnamese
• Korean
• Farsi (Persian)
• Chinese Simplified
• Chinese Traditional Characters
• Tamil
• Russian
• Punjabi Perso Arabic
• Punjabi Gurmukhi

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How can I involve my community?
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Start with who you know Identify the people and
groups you would like to introduce to NFF
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• Create Opportunities
• To bring neighbours, friends and families
  together to learn and talk about the tough issues
  of woman abuse and how to prevent it
• To generate discussions in which women and men
  can share ideas about preventing woman abuse
• To build a supportive culture so that when woman
  abuse touches someone in the community, either
  directly or indirectly, the tools, resources, and
  supports are available to effectively and safely
  cope with the situation

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• Neighbours, Friends and Families
• The NFF Campaign is adaptable not based on a
  one size fits all solution. Each community must
  decide how best to use the materials in their
  unique local situations
• Neighbours, Friends and Families
• Voisins, amis et familles
• Kanawayhitowin
• Also available are suggestions for working
  inclusively in diverse communities

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Become a Champion

• Carry a brochure and share it with the people you
  know
• Offer to work with your local services to support
  a Neighbours, Friends and Families campaign
• Look for opportunities to have a workshop offered
  in various places within your community, e.g.
  faith organization, school parent meetings,
  public library, etc.
• Talk to your local government to ask for their
  public support

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Neighbours, Friends and Families

• Key Messages
• Neighbours, Friends and Families have a crucial
  role to play in preventing woman abuse
• You can learn about the warning signs of woman
  abuse and you can learn how to help
• You can help by reading the brochures and safety
  cards and by making them available to people you
  know

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Neighbours, Friends and Families

• Key Messages contd
• Communities working together can make a
  difference in abused womens and childrens lives
• Talking to abusive men is critical to ending
  woman abuse
• Abusive behaviour wont go away by itself. There
  are services to help men who abuse

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The Neighbours, Friends and Families
Campaign Most Ontarians feel a personal
responsibility for reducing woman
abuse...recognizing it is the first step Take
the warning signs seriously