Assertiveness

1
Assertiveness

• Putting forward your own NEEDS,
• IDEAS and FEELINGS, and also
• Respecting the Right of Others to do
  
• the same.

2
It involves

• Acting in ones own interest

• Expressing and standing up for
  Personal Rights
  and Feelings without violating others
  rights and feelings

• Expressing opinions fearlessly

• Making decisions

3
A commonly believed myth

• To be successful, one Has to be
  Aggressive

and
To be otherwise,is to be Passive and
ineffectual
but
Assertiveness is a happy medium between
the two because..
4
AGRESSIVENESS INVOLVES.
PASSIVENESS INVOLVES.

• A total disregard for others
• Getting angry or using verbal force
• I am superior and right, you are inferior
  and wrong

• Undervaluing ones own importance
• Assuming responsibility for others reactions
  and emotions
• My perceptions, opinions, feelings etc. Are
  less important or correct than those of
  others

5
To be (assertive) or not to be,the choice
is yours
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Aggressive Behavior

• The body language

• Leaning forward

• Pointing fingers

• Piercing and glaring eye contact

• Jabbing

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Aggressive Behavior contd.

• The way you talk

The way you feel

• Loud

• In control of others
• Wanting to dominate
• Isolated
• Guilty

• Sarcastic

• Emphatic

• Arrogant

8
Aggressive Behavior contd.

• The way you make others feel

• Unfriendly

• Humiliated

• Afraid

• Resentful

9
Passive Behavior

• The body language

• Standing back

• Little / no eye contact

• Smiling even when upset

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Passive Behavior contd.

• The way you talk

• Apologetic vague

• Self - hating

• Hesitant

• Mourning

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Passive Behavior contd.

• The way you feel

• Taken advantage of

• Anxious and frustrated

• Hurt and powerless

12
Passive Behavior contd.

• The way you make others feel

• Frustrated

• Insulting

• Guilty

• Out of patience

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Assertive Behavior

• The body language

• Eye contact direct and not staring

• Relaxed, moving easily

• Open hand movements

• Head held up

14
Assertive Behavior contd.

• The way you talk

• Steady and firm

• Spontaneous

• Sincere

• Clear

15
Assertive Behavior contd.

• The way you feel

• Good about yourself

• Confident

• Responsible for your own actions

• Powerful within

16
Assertive Behavior contd.

• The way you make others feel

• Comfortable and at ease

• Respected as well as respectful

17
Verbal Behaviors

• Non- assertive

• Ive invited my friends over for dinner
  tonight. Do you mind ? Qs. with no options

• Why do you always want to hurt my
  feelings ? Qs. As punishers

• Dont you care enough about me to call
  every weekend ? assumptuous Qs.

18
Verbal Behaviors contd.

• Assertive

• Would you be more specific about what I
  did that you didnt like ?

• I would like us to share the
  responsibility for the housework

• I feel unhappy about what you just did.

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Benefits of assertiveness

• Develop a sense of self worth

• Be more relaxed and open

• Less critical of self and others

• Know what you want from each situation

• Develop skills to handle difficult
  situations

• Quicker results are achieved

• Goals are easily achieved

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Benefits of assertiveness contd.

• Behaviour is consistent

• Confidence increases

• Issues are resolved quickly

• Decision making process is speeded up

• Consensus is felicitated

• Discipline is felicitated

• Priorities are maintained

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Steps to assertiveness

• Assess the situation

• Observe he other person

• Listen to the message

• Respond assertively

22
To become assertive

• Express yourself clearly and positively

• Open conversations without hesitating

• Take a clear stand on issues

• Stand up for your beliefs

• Exhibit consistent behaviour

• Disagree agreeably without hurting others

• Act with reason

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• Say no when you want to say no

• Think before talking

• Assume responsibility for your feelings

• Empathize with others

• Display firmness without being harsh

• Be fair in your dealings

• Face issues squarely without procrastination

• Be a patient and effective listener