Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRASIPC - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
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Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRASIPC
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Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC ... Refuse the Sucker's Choice #435770/435767 4/2/08. Learn to Look ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation
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Title: Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRASIPC
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Communication and Conflict Resolution
- How to be at your best
- when it matters the most
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Communication is key
- 75 of the time the process itself is the
solution to the communication issues - 25 of the time you need help to work on your
communication skills to solve the conflict
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Game Whats your view of this elephant?
- Go to the corner of the room that represents the
most important feature of the ranch to you - Source of income
- Lifestyle
- Future asset value
- The family legacy
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Words are things
- Whats the difference between us and the rest of
the life on the planet? - Nothing fails like success
- Arnold Toynbee
- Stephen Covey Quote
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Words are things
- From my own work with organizations, including
families, and from my own experience, I have come
to see that there are a few defining moments in
our lives and careers that make all the
difference. Many of these defining moments come
from Crucial or breakthrough conversations
with important people in emotionally charged
situations where the decisions made take us down
one of several roads, each of which leads to an
entirely different destination. - Stephen Covey
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- What we have here is a failure to communicate
- Paul Newman in the movie Cool Hand Luke
- The void created by the failure to communicate
is soon filled with poison, drivel, and
misrepresentation. - C. Northcote Parkinson
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What is a Crucial Conversation?
- A discussion between two or more people where
- Stakes are high
- Opinions vary
- Emotions run strong
- They transform people and relationships
- Better relationships -gt Better decisions -gt
increased commitments to implement decisions
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How do we handle a crucial conversation?
- Avoid them
- Handle them poorly
- Handle them well
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Why are we so bad when it matters the most?
- Flying Fists and Fleet Feet
- Spontaneous
- Practice doesnt make perfect
- We are our own worst enemy
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We should have a healthy dialogue, but instead...
- We salute and stay mute
- Play Freeze your Lover
- Play the martyr
- Go to silence
- Triangulate
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Start with Heart
- Work on Me first
- Focus on what you really want
- What do I want for me?
- What do I want for others?
- What do I want for the relationship?
- Refuse the Suckers Choice
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Learn to Look
- Look for both content and conditions
- Physical signals stomach gets tight, eyes dry,
etc. - Emotions feeling scared, hurt angry
- Behavior raising your voice, pointing fingers,
etc.
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Learn to Look
- Look for safety problems
- Do you believe the other person has your best
interests in mind? - Do you respect the other persons opinion?
- Two reactions to unsafe conditions
- Silence masking, avoiding, withdrawing
- Violence controlling, labeling, attacking
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The Silence or Violence Choice
- More than any time in history mankind faces a
crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter
hopelessness, and the other to total extinction.
Let us pray that we have the wisdom to chose
correctly. - Woody Allen
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Learn to Look
- Style under Stress Test
- How am I responding?
- Am I having a good or bad impact on safety?
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Learn to Look
- Generational Differences
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Make it safe
- Mutual Purpose
- Do others believe I care about their goals in
this conversation? - Do they trust my motives?
- This is not a technique you must really care!
- Mutual Respect
- Do other believe I respect them?
- Respect is like air. If you take it away its
all that people can think about - Look for ways you are similar
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Make it safe
- The instant people perceive disrespect in a
conversation, the interaction is no longer about
the original purpose its now about defending
dignity - From Crucial Conversations
- Lord, help me forgive those who sin differently
than I
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Make it safe
- Apologize when appropriate
- Contrasting
- Start with what you dont intend
- Finish with what you do intend
- Commit to stay in the conversation
- Ask Why do you want that?
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Make it safe
- Be honest
- With confidence
- With humility
- With Skill
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Make it safe
- What to do
- Share your facts
- Tell your story
- Ask for others
- How to do it
- Talk tentatively
- Encourage Testing
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Strong Belief
- The more you care the worse you behave
- Watch for when people try to resist you
- Tone down your approach
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The proper use of your communication gear
- One of the best ways to persuade others is with
your ears. - Dean Rusk
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The four methods of decision making
- Command
- Consult
- Vote
- Consensus
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