Managing Conflict

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Managing Conflict
BOSTON COLLEGE WORLD-WIDE WEBINARS

• Bob ONeil
• Leadership and Career Management Coach

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Agenda for today

• Explore new ways to become more effective in
  conflict situations
• Become more aware of five different conflict
  management styles
• Recognize how and when to use of each conflict
  style
• Better understand how to make appropriate
  adjustments to become more effective

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What is Conflict?

• Any situation in which
• your concerns or desires differ from those of
  another person.

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What is Conflict Management?

• Conflict management is the practice of
  identifying and handling conflict in a sensible,
  fair and efficient manner.

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General Causes of Conflict

• Poorly defined goals and objectives
• Competition for scarce resources
• Unclear roles or lack of job description
• Shifting priorities
• Lack of communication
• Personality conflict

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• 2008 Study by CPP, Inc
• 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict
• 359 billion in paid hours
• 385 million workday

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Conflict Management Styles
COMPETE
COLLABORATE
COMPROMISE
AVOID
ACCOMMODATE
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Different styles have different goals

• Competing Win!
• Accommodating Yield
• Avoiding Delay
• Collaborating Participation
• Compromise Middle ground

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Conflict Management Styles
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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Conflict Management Styles
ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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Avoiding Conflict
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Conflict Management Styles
ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF
AVOID lose / lose
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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AvoidingUnassertive and Uncooperative

• When to use
• Issue is trivial
• Little can be gained
• Know when to postpone
• Avoid emotional conflicts
• You know your limitations
• Allow others ownership

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AvoidingUnassertive and Uncooperative

• When to use
• Issue is trivial
• Little can be gained
• Know when to postpone
• Avoid emotional conflicts
• You know your limitations
• Allow others ownership

• Be aware of?
• Perception that you dont care
• Allows conflict to simmer
• Hope is not an effective strategy

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Conflict Management Styles
COMPETE win / lose
ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF
AVOID lose / lose
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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CompetingAssertive and Uncooperative

• When to use

• Quick, decisive action is needed
• Unpopular action must be taken
• Issue is vital and the right course is clear
• To protect against people who take advantage

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CompetingAssertive and Uncooperative

• When to use

• Be aware of?

• Quick, decisive action is needed
• Unpopular action must be taken
• Issue is vital and the right course is clear
• To protect against people who take advantage

• Can be aggressive and confrontational
• Relationships may be damaged
• May encourage others to use covert methods

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Conflict Management Styles
COMPETE win / lose
ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF
AVOID lose / lose
ACCOMMODATE lose / win
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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AccommodatingUnassertive and Cooperative

• When to use

• Yield to a better position
• Concede, when appropriate
• Make a sacrifice when its important to others
• Creates good will and keeps the peace
• Low importance

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AccommodatingUnassertive and Cooperative

• When to use

• Be aware?

• Yield to a better position
• Concede, when appropriate
• Make a sacrifice when its important to others
• Creates good will and keeps the peace
• Low importance

• May result in a false solution to problem
• May be seen as a martyr?
• Reduced creativity
• Its exhausting

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Compromising
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Conflict Management Styles
COMPETE win / lose
COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win
ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF
AVOID lose / lose
ACCOMMODATE lose / win
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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CompromisingIntermediate in assertiveness and
cooperation

• When to use

• When practical and pragmatic
• Quickly achieves an expedient solution
• Issues less important, but not vital
• Back-up when other styles fail

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CompromisingIntermediate in assertiveness and
cooperation

• When to use

• Be aware?

• When practical and pragmatic
• Quickly achieves an expedient solution
• Issues less important, but not vital
• Back-up when other styles fail

• Becomes a pattern of taking the easy way out
• Reduces creative options
• Can be seen as being indecisive
• Can be seen as not wanting responsibility

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Conflict Management Styles
COMPETE win / lose
COLLABORATE win / win
COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win
ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF
AVOID lose / lose
ACCOMMODATE lose / win
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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CollaboratingBoth assertive and cooperative

• When to use

• For important issues
• Reconciling interests using win-win approach
• Merging insights for richer understanding
• Gaining commitments
• Improving relationships

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CollaboratingBoth assertive and cooperative

• When to use

• Be aware?

• For important issues
• Reconciling interests using win-win approach
• Merging insights for richer understanding
• Gaining commitments
• Improving relationships

• Takes time and commitment
• All parties must be engaged
• Use on most important issues

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Conflict Management Styles
COMPETE win / lose
COLLABORATE win / win
COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win
ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF
AVOID lose / lose
ACCOMMODATE lose / win
COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER
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Six Steps in Conflict Resolution

• Clarify what the disagreement is
• Establish a common goal for both parties
• Discuss ways to meet the common goal
• Determine the barriers to the common goal
• Agree on the best way to resolve the conflict
• Acknowledge the solution and responsibilities

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L I S T E NI NG
A set of skills for demonstrating that you
understand the thoughts and feelings being
communicated from the speakers frame of
reference.
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Levels of Listening
Nonlistening
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Levels of Listening
To Tell My Story Nonlistening
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Levels of Listening
To Agree or Disagree To Tell My
Story Nonlistening
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Seek first to understand, then to be
understood.
For Understanding To Agree or Disagree To
Tell My Story Nonlistening
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For more information on Managing Conflict

• Thomas Kilmann Conflict Management Styles at
  kilmanndiagnostics.com
• The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by
  Stephen Covey
• Getting to Yes Negotiating Agreements Without
  Giving in by Roger Fisher and William Ury
• Dale Carnegie Conflict Resolution in the
  Workplace Guide (free download at
  dalecarnegie.com)

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Q A

• Submit questions to Bob in the Questions
  section of your webinar dashboard.

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Contact Information

• Bob ONeil
• Leadership and Career Management Consultant
• boboneil0831_at_gmail.com
• [phone]
• https//www.linkedin.com/in/boboneil1952