Intimacy

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Intimacy

• Chapter 10

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What do we mean by intimacy?

• http//www.youtube.com/watch?vvgxxAwue7Fs

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Intimacy as an Adolescent Issue

• Not until adolescence do truly intimate
  relationships first emerge
• Characteristics of true intimacyopenness,
  honesty, self-disclosure, and trust
• Intimacy becomes an important concern due to
  changes of
• puberty
• cognitive changes
• social changes

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Theoretical Perspectives

• Sullivans Developmental progression of needs
• need for contact and for tenderness
• need for adult participation
• need for peers and peer acceptance
• Preadolescence
• Need for intimacy
• Adolescence
• Need for sexual contact and intimacy with
  opposite-sex peer
• Need for integration into adult society

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Theoretical Perspectives

• Eriksons View of Intimacy
• Crisis Intimacy vs. Isolation
• In a truly intimate relationship, two
  individuals identities fuse

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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

• Changes in the Nature of Friendship
• As we get older, friendship type changes
• Companionship appears before adolescence
• Intimacy emerges later
• Early adolescence
• Self-disclosure and trust emerge as dimensions of
  friendship

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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

• Changes in the Nature of Friendship
• Conflicts that adolescents have with friends
• Older adolescents typically have conflicts over
  private matters
• Younger adolescents typically have conflicts over
  public disrespect

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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

• Changes in the Display of Intimacy
• Adolescents become more knowledgeable about their
  friends
• Adolescents become more responsive to close
  friends and less controlling
• Friends become more interpersonally sensitive and
  show more empathy
• Friends resolve conflicts more frequently by
  negotiation or disengagement, not coercion

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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

• Sex Differences in Intimacy
• Girls relationships are more intimate than boys
  across many different indicators
• Girls disclose more to their friends
• Girls are more sensitive and empathic to friends
• Girls are more concerned about trust and loyalty

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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

• Changes in the Targets of Intimacy
• Sullivan hypothesized that
• intimacy with peers replaces intimacy with
  parents
• Intimacy with peers of the opposite sex replaces
  intimacy with same-sex friends
• Actually new targets of intimacy are added to old
  ones

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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

• Changes in the Targets of Intimacy
• Different types of intimate relationships with
  parents and peers
• Parent-adolescent relationships
• Imbalance of power, teens receive advice
• Adolescent peer relationships
• Mutual, balanced, equal exchanges

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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

• Friendships with the Other Sex
• Little is known about the nature or significance
  or nonromantic relationships with opposite-sex
  peers
• Boys may profit more from these relationships
  than do girls

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Dating and Romantic Relationships
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Class Activity

• Recall your first date
• How old were you?
• How did you approach the boy/girl you liked?
• Where did you go?
• Alone or in a group?
• How did it go?
• Letting your child date
• At what age would you allow?
• Any rules or limitations?

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Dating and Romantic Relationships

• High school dating no longer has the function of
  mate selection
• Romantic relationships are very common, in the
  past 18 months
• 25 of 12-years-olds reported having one
• 50 of 15-year-olds reported having one
• 70 of 18-year-olds reported having one
• But! Good news

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Dating and Romantic Relationships

• The Development of Dating Relationships
• Dating serves many purposes, besides developing
  intimacy
• Establishing emotional and behavioral autonomy
  from parents
• Furthering development of gender identity
• Learning about oneself as a romantic partner
• Establishing/maintaining status and popularity
  in peer group

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Dating and Romantic Relationships

• The Development of Dating Relationships
• Four Phases of Adolescent Romance
• Infatuation
• Status
• Intimate
• Bonding
• May not apply to sexual-minority youth, those who
  are not exclusively heterosexual

"If you're a bird I'm a bird"
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Dating and Romantic Relationships

• Impact of Dating on Adolescent Development
• Early and intensive dating before age 15
• Stunting effect on psychosocial development
• Adolescent girls who do not date at all
• Retarded social development, excessive dependency
  on parents, feelings of insecurity
• Moderate degree of dating
• Potentially most valuable pattern

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Intimacy and Adolescent Psychosocial Development

• Individuals with satisfying close friendships
• do better than those without them, in adolescence
  and in adulthood
• Psychologically healthy adolescents are better
  able
• to make and maintain close relationships with
  others

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Intimacy and Adolescent Psychosocial Development

• Negative effects can occur as well
• Frequent conversations about personal problems
• can lead to too much introspection and
  self-consciousness
• Corumination between friends
• can make each of the friends depressed