How to Survive in Ms. Russell

1
How to Survive in
Ms. Russells Class

• By her 7th graders of 08-09

2

• Bow down to Ms. Russell. In this classroom she is
  the dictator, queen, master, saint, or whatever
  she may call herself.
• Dont be stupid. Common sense
  is a vital trait in the
  kingdom (classroom).
• No whining!
• Borrowing pens? Big no! no!
• Keep your spiral in mint condition.
• Laugh at all of her jokes.
• Do the homework.
  She doesnt give much
  anyway.
• Dont take advantage of fun activities. She
  always has worksheets ready to hand out.

3

• Dont be stupid.
• Dont say stupid stuff.
• Dont think stupid stuff.
• Dont put anything on her desk
  it will never be found.
• LAUGH at her jokes.
• Dont make her mad.
  She will throw a
  brick at you.
  Literally!
• Dont give her attitude.
• Dont say things you think are
  funny to make people laugh.

4

• Do your work.
• Keep your spirals.
• Keep your spirals clean.
• Keep your spirals organized.
• If you like any other team besides the
  Dallas Cowboys, DO NOT mention
  it.
• Bring a handheld pencil sharpener because
  she hates (I mean HATES) electric
  ones!
• In this class there is a major rule about work
  Do it or fail.
• If you sit next to the light switch you will
  become the official light
  switch handler.
• Most of all, if Ms. Russell isnt happy,
  then nobody is happy.

5

• The first thing you need to know is that Ms.
  Russell is QUEEN! Treat her like royalty.
• If you disobey, you will pay.
• Dont talk when shes talking, because that
  really gets under her skin.
• Its important not to have an attitude when
  youre talking to her or answering her.
• Theres no point in fighting with her
  because youll lose.
• No passing notes or throwing objects across the
  room when you think shes not looking because
  shell catch you.

6

• My name is Susan (name changed)
  and I am a survivor.
• I survived screams and lots of referrals.
• The screams are something
  you wouldnt want to hear.
• Breath when youre angry.
• Dont yell back, or youll be public enemy 1.
• Watch out for the brick.
• She doesnt give second chances
  when shes writing you up.
• You have now been warned.

7

• Grades
• Turn in everything.
• DO NOT talk back.
• Only speak when spoken to.
• Keep a good looking, well-kept, spiral.
• II. Videos
• Never say youve already seen it
  if the rest of the class hasnt.
• Never yell out loud at a movie.
• Laugh when she says its funny.
• NEVER laugh at a movie with death in it.

8

• IV. PowerPoints
• Laugh at the sound effects.
• Laugh at the funny pictures.
• NEVER say her PowerPoints are
  boring she will give you the brick.
• DO NOT fall asleep during PowerPoints.
• V. Warnings
• If you get in trouble she brings out the BRICK
  (dramatic music!), but you are safe.
  She almost never hits her target!

Could be YO
9

• You must get your work done on time.
• Dont try those old sayings I left it at home
  when you know its in your binder and you didnt
  even start it!
• Respect her choices because she is
  doing what she is doing to teach you.
• Be on time with everything you need for class,
  including a pen.
• Dont copy anyones work even if the person says
  OK because it is better to do it yourself and
  you wont get a zero.
• Keep your phone off and in your pocket.
  Otherwise it will get taken
  up.
  Trust me I know.

10

• The first thing you need to do is to NOT chew
  gum. She will catch you.
• Do not talk back to her or correct her.
  She does not tolerate it.
• Most of the time Ms. Russell is very
  nice unless someone pushes her
  buttons.
• Do your work or shell hunt you down.
• You know what? SHE MAKES
  HOME VISITS, so be good.
• Never make her mad. She can be nice at times, but
  you dont want to hear her scream. That scared
  me, even if she wasnt screaming at me.

11

• How to survive in Ms. Russells class is simple
  be good, do your work, and show her respect.
• This is HER CLASS. You follow her rules.
  She is the boss.
• When she says she is going to call you parents,
  you better believe she is going to do it.
• If you just sit there and dont
  do your work, she
  gets mad.
• If you talk out of turn she will get mad.
• If you act silly and play around she gets mad.
• There are a lot of things she gets mad about, but
  if you get on her good side,
  all of that will change

12

• To survive in Ms. Russells class you have to
  have as much respect as if she was your parent.
• You are going to do what she tells
  you and everything will be
  pretty cool if
  you have RESPECT.
• When she says to be quiet, youd better or she
  will turn vicious, but in a good way.
• When you have a test, youd better
  STUDY !!!

13

• When she says to put something in your spiral,
  youd better do it. Keep track of all your
  worksheets and keep your spiral organized.
• Read all that she says or you
  WILL BE VERY CONFUSED.

14

• Ms. Russell does not like for kids
  our age to act like 5 year olds.
• When kids play around,
  that brings out the anger in
  her.
• Really all you have to do is bring your supplies,
  come prepared, do your work, mind your own
  business, stay quiet, raise your hand before you
  get out of your seat, and most important of all
  make her feel
  like a queen!

15

• Come prepared every single day, even on the last
  day, and always do your work when told to.
• When she says you may silently talk,
  she means SILENTLY, because if you
  dont shell
  give you an assignment to
  do on the last day of school.
• Never get Ms. Russell annoyed.
• If you want to survive her class, then
  dont act silly or try to be
  the class clown
  because its not going to work.
• Listen to the teachers directions, because its
  really annoying to repeat the directions over and
  over.

16

• First of all, dont get on her bad side. Trust
  me shes not afraid
  to write you up.
• Ms. Russell can be nice too.
  One time she let me re-take a test
  that was really nice of her.
• Dont make stupid comments.
• Behave, treat her like the queen
  that she is, and youll do fine.
• And listen to her stories
  theyre good.

17

• Dont make silly noises because
  its really immature to do
  so.
  When you do make silly noises
  youll get in really deep trouble
  and your teacher
  will call home.
• Acting like an IDIOT is not a good way to impress
  others and be cool. It ruins the fun for
  everyone else when we could be having a great
  time.
• Have good manners. Say Yes maam or No,
  Maam. Thats a big pet peeve for her.
• Dont pack up at the 6th grade bell
  you still have 5 minutes.

18

• Go to the bathroom before class starts
  because she usually wont let you go.
• Try your best.
• First of all, when you walk into the room,
  tell her she looks
  nice, then she will
  probably be nice to you for the rest of the day.
• Dont sharpen your pencils all at one time
  she will go mad if you
  do.
• Do exactly what she says to do.
• Dont make her mad because if you
  do you will not have a good day.
• You can tell when Ms. Russell is mad.
  She gets that look on
  her face, and
  that is when you need to shut up.

19

• When she tells you to do something, you
  automatically do it without hesitation.
• To survive in Ms. Russells class
  you will need a pen or
  pencil.
• She prefers pen because she doesnt like the
  sound of the pencil sharpener.
• The most important thing to bring
  to class is your brain.
• Do not chew gum she WILL catch you.
• If youre not prepared for class and
  dont have a pen, shell make you
  pop a
  vein and use blood for ink.

20

• Dont complain.
• If she gets you in trouble and
  calls your parents, shes just doing
  it for your own good
  because she loves you!
• Do not talk so loud because when she gets mad,
  she gets MAD!
• Dont make googley eyes at girls or boys!
• Bring a glue stick. You will always
  need it for your spiral.
• Dont play dumb.
• Dont say anything that you
  wouldnt say in church.

21

• Always be prepared for her
  unpredictable mood swings.
• Listen to all of her jokes,
  even if you dont think theyre
  funny.
• Dont get on her bad side, because her
  bad side is worse than
  getting your foot chewed off by a pack of wolves.
• Attempt to do your homework,
  even if you really dont want to.
• If you need something,
  wait quietly until she gets
  to you.
• Dont say stupid things while she is angry.

22

• When you first get into Ms. Russells doorway you
  have to kiss her feet as a sign
  of respect and then say,
  All hail
  the mighty Ms. Russell! Then you
  may go in
  her classroom.
• To survive Ms. Russells class you should take
  karate so you learn to dodge the brick.
• Dont chew gum. She always finds it because she
  has special powers. She can smell through
  anything. She can tell where its coming from and
  what gum it is.
• Dont make her call your mom in front of the
  whole class because you didnt turn in your
  homework.

23

• Dont criticize the Dallas Cowboys! You will die.
• When you need to turn something in, you have to
  turn it in or else she will hunt you down and
  make you do it.
• Dont try to out smart her. She knows it ALL.
• Dont say random things to try and be funny.
• When pictures come in you really, really need to
  bring the money or the picture back or she WILL
  hunt you down, call parents, or even come to your
  house.
• If you are on the quietest side
  of the room you will
  get to leave first.

24

• Take all the opportunities she gives you.
• Dont be annoying.
• Dont be a clown.
• Dont get her in a bad mood.
• Never chew gum in her class because
  shes the best at finding gum.
• No (absolutely not) sitting by friends that are
  going to make you talk.
• Dont argue with her. No matter what you do, DO
  NOT ARGUE.
• Dont complain either
  shell give you
  something worse to do.

25

• When you do something wrong, accept that youre
  wrong and dont say my bad or sorry. Instead
  say, Im sorry. (Really easy, isnt it!)
• Dont chew gum.
  Shes a good
  gum catcher.
• She helps you if you have missing assignments.
  She is always here
  to help her students. Just ask!
• If youre not paying attention,
  
• at least act like youre paying attention.
• Listen to Ms. Russell instead of
  listening to students.
• Dont lie. She finds out everything.

26

• Dont mess with Texas.
• Dont mess with the Aggies.
• Dont mess with the Cowboys.
• Dont try to outsmart Queen Russell under any
  circumstances because shes always 43 steps ahead
  of you. Before you can lie, she already knows
  what youre about to say before you even say it.
• Dont lie. She finds out everything.
• Dont argue. At all.

27

• Actually know the answer
  when you raise your hand.
• Shell find out if you have gum, so theres
  really no point in having it in the first place.
• Do not do anything bad to get in the hall because
  she might forget and leave you
  in the hall for the whole period.
• Do not try to fake doing your work
  because she will catch you.
• If you dont know the answer,
  write Sam Houston.
• Be an Aggie.

28

• When Ms. Russell says, When you get your test
  you may read it, pray,
  meditate, etc., DO NOT
  actually sit
  on your desk and begin
  meditating.
• Think deeply.
  It only hurts
  for the first couple of minutes.
• Pick one bad habit to change and
  one good habit to start.
• Learn this fact
  Ms. Russell is always
  right, even if shes wrong.