Divorce and Remarriage

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CHAPTER 15 Divorce and Remarriage
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Chapter 15 Divorce and RemarriageIntroduction

• In a sample of 2,922 undergraduates, 26 reported
  that their parents were divorced.
• Discussion
• Why do people get divorced? What are factors that
  might lead to divorce? What are potential
  advantages and disadvantages to divorce and
  remarriage?

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Chapter 15 Divorce and RemarriageChapter Outline

• Divorce
• Micro Factors Contributing to Divorce
• Consequences of Divorce for Spouses/Parents
• Consequences of Divorce for Children
• Conditions of a Successful Divorce
• Remarriage
• Stepfamilies
• Children in Stepfamilies
• Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies
• The Future of Divorce and Remarriage

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Divorce

• Legal ending of a valid marriage contract
• Characteristics that appear to affect divorce
  rates
• Education
• Age
• Race
• Religion
• Previous Marriage

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Divorce

• Factors leading to a decrease in the divorce
  rate
• Increase in the age of marriage
• Increase in cohabitation rates

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Divorce by Occupations

• High- and Low-Risk Occupations for Divorce
• Highest dancer/choreographer (43)
• Bartender (38)
• Lowest optometrist (4)
• Next lowest clergy (5)
• Other notable divorce rates nurses (29),
  sociologists (23), authors/teachers (15)

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Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship

• Before ending a relationship, consider the
  following
• Reviving and improving the relationship
• Acknowledge and accept that terminating a
  relationship with be difficult and painful
• In talking with your partner, blame yourself for
  the end
• Cut off the relationship completely
• Learn from the terminated relationship
• Allow time to grieve over the end of the
  relationship
• Clean your Facebook page
• Data is unclear if remaining unhappily married or
  divorcing and remarrying has a more positive
  outcome for the spouses.

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Macro Factors Contributing to Divorce

• Increased Economic Independence of Women
• Changing Family Functions and Structure
• Liberal Divorce Laws
• Fewer Moral and Religious Sanctions
• More Divorce Models
• Mobility and Anonymity
• Ethnicity and Culture

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Divorce in Other Cultures
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Divorce in Other Countries
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Divorce Top 30 Factors

• Courtship of less than two years
• Having little in common
• Marrying at 17 or younger
• Differences in race, education, age, religion,
  social class, values, and libido
• Not being religiously devout
• A cohabitation history with different partners
• Previous marriage
• No children
• Limited education
• Urban residence

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Divorce Top 30 Factors

• Infidelity
• Divorced parents
• Poor communication skills
• Unemployment of husband
• Employment of wife
• Mental or physical disability
• Having seriously ill child
• Low self-esteem of spouses
• Being African American
• Lack of commitment

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Divorce Top 30 Factors

1. Experiencing rape
2. Having premarital pregnancy or unwanted child
3. Stepchildren
4. High debt or sudden loss of income
5. Experiencing violence or abuse
6. Having parents who never married
7. Marrying someone who has been divorced
8. Wife earns higher income than husband
9. Falling out of love
10. Bankruptcy

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Micro Factors Contributing to Divorce

• Differences
• Falling Out of Love
• Limited Time Together
• Decrease in Positive Behavior
• Affair
• Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills
• Value Changes
• Satiation
• Perception that One Would Be Happier if Divorced

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Consequences of Divorce for Spouses/Parents

• Women are significant more likely than men to
  report that they initiated the breakup
• Men reported more difficulty than women did in
  adjusting to a breakup
• The passage of time and involvement with a new
  partner were identified as the most helpful
  factors in getting over a love relationship that
  ended

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Financial Consequences

• Child Support
• Alimony
• Prenuptial Agreement
• Postnuptial Agreement

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Fathers Separation from Children

• Divorce transforms family power from intact
  patriarchy to post-divorce matriarchy.
• Finley (2004, F9)

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Shared Parenting Dysfunction Examples

• A parent who forced the children to sleep in a
  car to prove the other parent had bankrupted
  them.
• After losing a court battle over custody of the
  children, a noncustodial parent burned down the
  house of the primary residential parent.
• One divorcing parent bought a cat for the
  children because the other divorcing parent was
  highly allergic to cats.

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Parental Alienation Syndrome

• An alleged disturbance in which children are
  obsessively preoccupied with deprecation and/or
  criticism of a parent
• Not a medical psychosis with specific criteria
• Questioned by most researchers

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Parental Alienation

• Estrangement of a child from a parent
• One parent may alienate a child from another
  parent
• Minimizing contact
• Exhibiting excessive boundaries
• Having no concern for missed visits
• Withholding affection
• Granting autonomy to the point of indifference
• Sign of alienation irrational behavior on the
  part of the child toward one parent

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Consequences of Divorce for Children

• Divorce is like two lions in a den attacking
  each other. You know somebody is going to get
  hurt real bad. All kids can do is sit behind a
  window and watch it happen.
• -Anonymous nine-year-old boy

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Consequences of Divorce on Children

• Divorce can benefit children in high parental
  conflict homes
• Can have negative psychological effect on
  children
• Primary factor determining the effect of divorce
  on children is the degree to which the divorcing
  parents are civil

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Who Gets the Children?

• Legal Custody
• Physical Custody (Visitation)
• Joint Custody

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Who Gets the Children?

• Factors determining custody
• Childs age, maturity, sex, and activities,
  including culture and religion
• Wishes of the child
• Each parents capacity to care for the childs
  emotional, intellectual, financial, and religious
  needs
• Parents ability to agree, communicate, and
  cooperate in matters relating to the child
• Nature of the childs relationship to each parent
• Protection for the child from physical or
  psychological harm
• Past and present parental attitudes and behaviors
• Proposed plan for caring for the child

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Joint Custody

• Family relations doctrine
• 16 of separated and divorced couples have a
  joint custody agreement
• Benefits
• Less fighting between ex-spouses
• Children benefit from the love and attention of
  both parents
• Children have greater financial resources
  available
• Stress is shared by both parents
• Disadvantages
• Put hostile ex-spouses in more frequent contact
  with each other

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Minimizing Negative Effects of Divorce on Children

• Healthy parental psychological functioning
• A cooperative relationship between the parents
• Parental attention to the children and allowing
  them to grieve
• Encouragement to see noncustodial parent
• Attention from the noncustodial parent

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Minimizing Negative Effects of Divorce on
Children (cont.)

• Assertion of parental authority
• Regular and consistent child support payments
• Stability
• Children in a new marriage
• Age and reflection on the part of children of
  divorce

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Conditions of a Successful Divorce

• Mediate rather than litigate the divorce
• Co-parent with your ex-spouse
• Take some responsibility for the divorce
• Create positive thoughts
• Avoid alcohol and other drugs
• Engage in aerobic exercise
• Continue interpersonal connections
• Let go of the anger for your ex-partner
• Allow time to heal

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Remarriage

• One-fourth of divorcées date someone new before
  the divorce is final
• Those without children have a higher percentage
  of remarrying

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Remarriage

• Issues of Remarriage for the Divorced
• Boundary maintenance
• Emotional remarriage
• Psychic remarriage
• Community remarriage
• Parental remarriage
• Economic and legal remarriage

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Remarriage
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Stepfamilies

• Blended, binuclear, remarried, or reconstituted
  families
• Fastest growing type of family in the U.S.
• Types of stepfamilies
• Myths of stepfamilies
• Unique aspects of stepfamilies

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Stepfamilies in Theoretical Perspective

• Structural-functional perspective
• Integration or stability of the system is highly
  valued
• Conflict perspective
• Conflict in a stepfamily is desirable as it leads
  to equality and individual autonomy
• Interactionist perspective
• Emphasize meanings and interpretations that
  members of a stepfamily develop for events and
  interactions in the family

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Stages in Becoming a Stepfamily

1. Fantasy
2. Reality
3. Being Assertive
4. Strengthening Pair Ties
5. Recurring Change

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Children in Stepfamilies

• Feelings of abandonment
• Divided loyalties
• New discipline
• Stepsiblings
• Ambiguity of the extended family

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Developmental Tasks for Stepfamilies

• Nurture the new marriage relationship
• Allow time for relationship between partner and
  children to develop
• Have realistic expectations
• Accept your stepchildren
• Establish your own family rituals
• Support the childrens relationship with their
  absent parent
• Cooperate with the childrens biological parent
  and co-parent
• Structural solutions to problems of stepfamily
  living
• Stepfamily education Web-based program

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Quick Quiz

• Which of the following is not a macro factor of
  divorce?
• value changes
• liberalized divorce laws
• women's economic independence
• individualistic attitudes

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Quick Quiz

• What is a micro factor of divorce?
• value changes
• social pressures
• religious beliefs
• economic institutions

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Quick Quiz

• When the novelty of marriage wears off, couples
  usually experience
• satiation
• infidelity
• increased happiness
• boredom

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Quick Quiz

• The deliberate, systematic attempt to eliminate
  the psychological connection of the other parent
  in a child's life is called
• maternal gate keeping
• paternal alienation syndrome
• maternal alienation syndrome
• parental alienation syndrome

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Quick Quiz

• Compared with litigation, what is the key feature
  of divorce mediation?
• There is lots of public exposure.
• It is more expensive.
• It fosters a better relationship between spouses.
• It is more time consuming.