Lesson 11 - Parenting

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Lesson 11 - Parenting
Robert Wonser
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Parenting

• Parenting is the process of nurturing, caring
  for, socializing, and preparing one's children
  for their eventual adult roles.

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Socialization

• Socialization is the process by which people
  learn characteristics of their groups norms,
  values, attitudes, and behaviors.
• From the first moments of life, children begin a
  process of socialization wherein parents, family,
  and friends establish an infants social
  construction of reality which is what people
  define as real because of their background
  assumptions and life experiences with others.

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• An average U.S. childs social construction of
  reality includes knowledge that he or she
  belongs, can depend on others to meet their
  needs, and has privileges and obligations that
  accompany membership in their family and
  community.
• Primary socialization includes all the ways the
  newborn is molded into a social being, capable
  oaf interacting in and meeting the expectations
  of society. Most primary socialization is
  facilitated by the family, friends, school, and
  various forms of media.

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Social Class and Parenting

• Annette Lareaus Unequal Childhoods
• Concerted cultivation vs accomplishment of
  natural growth
• What are the different outcomes?
• Notice how ones position in society affects how
  one rears children.

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Childhood Dependence

• Individuation is the process of separating
  oneself, ones identity, and ones dependence on
  others, especially on parents.

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Children's Independence and Their Ability to
Nurture Others Over Certain Life Course Stages
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• The trick is to find a balance between control
  and freedom
• The model on the next slide leads to an ideal
  outcome of having raised children who are
  independent co-adults.

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An Ideal Parenting Approach for the First 20
Years of Life

• Enmeshment between parents and children occurs
  when they weave their identities so tightly
  around one another that it renders them both
  incapable of functioning independently.

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Behaviorism and the Cognitive Model

• Behaviorism is a theory of learning that simply
  states that children will repeat behaviors that
  they perceive to bring a desired reward while
  ceasing behaviors that they perceive bring
  punishments.
• Cognitive model of parenting is an approach that
  applies reason and clarification to the child in
  a persuasive effort to get them to understand why
  they should behave a certain way.

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Examples of Rewards and Punishments for Children
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Types of Parenting

• Rescue parents are constantly interfering with
  their childrens activities
• Dominating Parents over control and coerce their
  children.
• Mentoring Parents tend to negotiate and share
  control with their children.

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Co-Adulthood

• Co-adulthood is the status children attain when
  they are independent, capable of fulfilling
  responsibilities and roles, and confident in
  their own identities as emerging adults.

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Infant Mortality (IM) and Life Expectancy (LE),
2007
Country IM LE
Japan 3.2 81.4
Mozambique 109.9 40.9
South Africa 59.4 42.5
Spain 4.3 79.8
Sri Lanka 19.5 74.8
Sweden 2.8 80.6
Switzerland 4.3 80.6
United Kingdom 5.0 78.7
United States 6.4 78.0
Venezuela 20.9 74.8
Zimbabwe 51.1 39.5
Country IM LE
Albania 20.0 77.6
Angola 184.4 37.6
Australia 4.6 80.6
Austria 4.5 79.2
Bangladesh 59.1 62.8
Brazil 27.6 72.2
Canada 4.6 80.3
China 22.1 72.9
Costa Rica 9.5 77.2
France 4.2 79.9
Germany 4.1 79.0
Greece 5.3 79.4
Guatemala 29.8 69.7
Iran 38.1 70.6
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How active is your young child?

• 18 month old Alyssa
• 24 hours
• 4,652 separate activities
• 221 behavioral categories
• Watches/looks at something 643
• Manipulates an object 96
• Cries 62
• Screams 17
• Sings 22
• Falls down 9
• Walks 299

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Preschoolers

• Practice gross and fine motor skills
• move and investigate their world
• pour milk
• age-appropriate
• Limits
• Chores
• Trash
• Clean room
• Change sheets
• Sweep
• Vacuum
• Dishwasher
• Fold laundry
• Feed pets
• Yard work
• Clean bathrooms

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Parents Parent Differently

• Most mothers spend more time in childcare and
  housework activities than fathers
• In less than 15 of married-couple families do
  the father and mother share equally in HW and CC
• Mothers take care
• Fathers play
• In less than 2 of married-couple families are
  the fathers the full-time homemaker

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Parenting Styles

• Authoritative/Democratic Style
• Authoritarian Style
• Permissive Style
• Rejecting Style
• Uninvolved Style

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Parental Alliance

• Respect each others differences
• Parents are a parenting alliance -- present
  united front to children
• Marital conflict can affect parenting alliance

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Effects of Life Stress

• Stress decreases ability to
• Be patient or relax
• Meet childrens needs
• Be emotionally responsive
• Show affection
• Give praise

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Effects of Life Stress

• Stress increases tendency to
• Be strict and criticize
• Punish and spank
• Sources of stress?
• Coping strategies?

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Children Affect Parenting

• Some childrens needs are more difficult to meet
• What works for one child may not work for another
• Some children have special needs

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Effective Discipline

• Purpose of discipline
• learn self-control
• develop conscience
• Children respond best in the context of loving,
  trusting relationship

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Effective Discipline

• Consistent
• Positive (rewards) rather than negative
  (punishments)
• Catch them being good
• Behavioral expectations clear
• Developmentally appropriate
• Severe punishment is counterproductive

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Conscious Parenting

• How children are socialized if often not thought
  about consciously.
• What types of things are we likely to reproduce
  in our children if we dont actively focus on
  what we do?
• Examples
• Cinderella ate my daughter!
• Troublesome aspects of masculinity

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Looking for quality childcare

• Do the kids look happy?
• Is there a good feeling there?
• Licensed
• Adequate space for indoor and outdoor play
• Is food appetizing?
• Staff training and adequate number
• TV/video games
• Activity plan

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• Your neighbor has a child with special needs,
  what theory could you use to help understand the
  challenges of this family?

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