Building

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Building a Thriving Marriage
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GENDER DIFFERENCES
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However, each one of you also must love his wife
as he loves himself, and the wife must respect
her husband. - Eph 533
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GENDER DIFFERENCES
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Gender Differences
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Gender Differences

• Common Differences between men and women that
  significantly affect their ability to
• Understand
• Work together
• Care for each other

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Gender Differences - Disclaimers

• Common in one sex, but not universal significant
  majority, but exceptions.
• Distinguishing from the other sex, but
• not exclusive significantly more, but
  crossover.

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Understanding Gender Differences

• 1. To embrace our God-given roles.
• 2. To anticipate the strains.
• 3. To know how to love.
• 4. To value the differences.
• 5. To avoid rage.
• 6. To avoid tendency to make him/her like me.
• 7. To avoid scorn.
• 8. To make same-sex friends.

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REALITY

• Whats true?

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What We Learn From THE BIBLE
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PRINCIPLE 1
Gender Differences Real, purposeful, and deep.
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Different Names

• So God created man in his own image, in the image
  of God he created him male (zakar) and female
  (nekvah) he created them.
• -Genesis 127

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Different Means

• Men - formed (yatsar) e.g. clay pot
• ordinary, durable to do and be used.
• Women - fashioned (banah) e. g. palace
• elegant, beautiful to be valued and loved.

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Different Roles

• For the husband is the head (kephalae) of the
  wife as Christ is the head of the church
• Ephesians 523
• It is not good for the man to be alone. I will
  make a helper (ezer) suitable for him.
• Genesis 218

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Different Weaknesses

• I want men everywhere to life up holy hands in
  prayer, without anger or disputing.
• I also want women to dress modestly with decency
  and propriety
• 1 Timothy 28-9

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PRINCIPLE 2
Gender Differences are To be understood and
valued.
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Understand and Value
Husbands live with your wives in an
understanding way and grant her honor as a
fellow heir of the grace of life. - I Pet 37
Each one of you also must love his wife as he
loves himself, and the wife must respect her
husband. - Eph 533
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PRINCIPLE 3
Gender Differences are Awaiting discovery.
to search out a matter is the glory of kings. -
Prov 252
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RESPONSE

• So what do?

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CORE DIFFERENCESLove Respect
However, each one of you also must love (agape)
his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect (phobos) her husband. - Eph 533
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AT THE CORE

• MEN WOMEN
• Desire Respect Desire Love
• Pursue Ability Pursue Worth
• Strive - Successful Strive -
  Desired
• Designed to Lead Designed to Nurture

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HOW TO LOVE YOUR WIFEC-O-U-P-L-E

• Closeness. Connectdont withdraw.
• Openness. Talkdont clam up.
• Understanding. Listendont fix.
• Peacemaking. Deal...dont avoid.
• Loyalty. Commit...dont leave.
• Esteem. Value...dont diminish.

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HOW TO RESPECT YOUR HUSBANDC-H-A-I-R-S

• Conquest. Doing ability, work.
• Headship. Responsibilityprotect, provide.
• Authority. Decisionmaking willing, able.
• Insight. Thinking thorough, careful.
• Relationship. Adventuring together.
• Sexuality. Delighting expression of love.

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LOVE RESPECT IMPACT
HUGE!
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Crazy Cycle
From Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
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Normal Healthy Marriage
Satisfaction
Time
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Energizing Cycle
From Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
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Normal Healthy Marriage
Satisfaction
Time
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The basic needs of each gender are
straightforward. Women need to be loved, all
year round, and men need to be respected,
especially when the going gets tough. Love
and respect. Its an unbeatable combination. -
Dr James Dobson
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BIG IDEA!
To thrive, a woman needs love and a man needs
respect.
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ASSIGNMENT

• Rate import of each factor (0-5).
• Describe - how you like it expressed.
• Share with your spouse.

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Presence of God
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Praying in the Spirit
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all
kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind,
be alert and always keep on praying for all the
saints. - Eph 618
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