Welcome to the Death Cult

1
Welcome to the Death Cult

• The Official brochure
• Written by Death Cult Leader

2
Purpose of this presentation

• To explain what the Death Cult is all about.
• To explain all the benefits reaped by members of
  the Death Cult.
• To explain the rules and regulations that all
  members of the Death Cult have to adhere to.

3
What is the Death Cult all about?

• The Death Cult promotes the worship and love of
  all things that are dead.
• Rejects the hurtful neglect of the dead.
• Worship the dead like Gods.
• To immerse oneself in all that is dead and dying.

4
Immerse yourself with the dead

• Learn to live with death all around you.
• In the Church of the Dead, rotting corpses with
  leering mouths and decaying skin hang from chains
  all around you.
• Become friends with the dead and rotting corpses,
  and learn to relate with the cadavers because
  someday you too will wind up just like them.

5
Deathly Odors

• Seem unpleasant at first, because you are
  programmed by your environment to be repelled by
  the stench of death.
• You will learn to appreciate and enjoy the odors
  emitted by the dead.
• When your training is complete, the smells and
  noxious gases that corpses emit will become a
  pleasant fragrance, a blissful aroma that you
  cannot live without.
• The death experience can never be complete
  without the odors emitted by the dead.

6
Sex with the Dead

• Once you are admitted into the Death Cult, sex
  with any living creaturewhether human or
  animalis forbidden.
• Sex with all things deadwhether human or
  animalis not only allowed but highly encouraged
  and is the only sex that is permissible.

7
Benefits of Necrophilia

• No emotional attachment required.
• It eliminates the risk of AIDS and other STDs.
• No need to worry about unwanted pregnancies.
• Like masturbation, you only need to worry about
  your satisfaction and not that of your partner.
• Your partners sexual hang-ups and other baggage
  are never a concern.
• Dead people cant say no!

8
Flies and Maggots

• Seem gross at first
• Are a welcome and natural aspect of the dead.
• Feast on the dead and are a part of the ecosystem
• Like the stench, flies and maggots complete the
  death experience

• Make a great snack when youve got the munchies.
• Taste good with a side of decaying flesh.
• Can make cute pets
• Feel good when crawling up the anus and other
  bodily orifices.
• Are absolutely lovely creatures as a whole.

9
Gangrene

• Occurs when parts of your body are dying and
  rotting away, and is therefore the death of a
  part of your body.
• For this reason, all members of the Death Cult
  hope and pray to be afflicted with Gangrene.
• Those who contract gangrene are highly regarded
  with the greatest admiration here at the Death
  Cult.

10
Respect the Dead

• It doesnt matter what someone did in their life
  once they are dead, they are to be thought of
  with only the highest regard, respect, love, and
  compassion.
• Disrespect toward the dead will never be
  tolerated.
• Men who show contempt or disrespect toward the
  deceased will have their genitals amputated with
  a rusty saw, followed by hours of torture.
• Women who disrespect the dead will have their
  clitorises sewn shut and their breasts hacked off
  with a rusty hatchet, followed by hours of
  torture.

11
Companionship with the Dead

• The dead have a lot to teach us if wed only sit
  down and listen.
• Friendship with a cadaver is very important.
• You should frequently sit down with a corpse and
  have a pleasant conversation so they do not feel
  so lonely.
• Sometimes your best friends are your dead friends.

12
Benefits of Membership

• A fond understanding and affection of all things
  that are dead.
• A renewed respect and understanding for those who
  have passed before us.
• You will no longer be among the masses who find
  things related to death to be weird, creepy, or
  disgusting.
• Odors, texture, and site of the dead and decaying
  will no longer be offensive to you, but instead
  bring about feelings of comfort and bliss.

13
Pricing

• A lifetime membership into the Death Cult is
  completely free of charge, meaning you are not
  required to pay anything up front upon joining.
• You may make donations to the Church of the Death
  Cult at any time.
• It is through these donations that the Church of
  the Death Cult is funded.
• If you are interested in making a donation,
  please contact the Death Cult Preacher for more
  details.
• All donations are greatly appreciated.

14
Departure

• The Death Cult is confident that you will enjoy
  your experience with us so much that you will
  never want to leave however, if at anytime you
  are dissatisfied with your membership or simply
  no longer wish to be a part of this, you are free
  to leave.
• In order to leave, you must be killed. Only in
  death can you ever truly leave the Death Cult.
• Your death will usually be painless, though
  depending upon the level of bitterness in your
  departure, your death may involve physical,
  mental, and/or emotional torture.
• In death, you will be worshiped and loved by the
  Death Cult.

15
Conclusion

• We believe strongly that you will enjoy your
  experience with the Death Cult and urge you to
  join immediately.
• Joining guarantees a lifetime membership.
• In joining, you will have friends for life.
• Once you are dead, you will be idolized and
  worshiped like a god.

16
Contact Info

• The Death Cult welcomes all questions and
  comments regarding what you have read here.
• Please email all comments to theleader_at_thedeathcul
  t.com
• Snail Mail all comments to
• Church of the Death Cult
• PO Box 1998
• Sinclair, New Jersey 88919

17
Legal Information

• The proceeding PowerPoint presentation was a
  parody created by The Shitter, of Zero Hour.
  http//www.zer0hour.org/
• Everything included hereinincluding names of
  cities, PO Boxes, and email addressesare purely
  fictional, and if you send queries to those
  addresses, you wont get any response.
• This PowerPoint presentation was completed at
  100am Eastern Standard Time on January 26, 2004.
• You are free to distribute this presentation to
  your friends for a laugh, but this notice must
  remain intact and proper credit must be given!