Conflict Resolution Michele Brezovec - Coach

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Conflict ResolutionMichele Brezovec - Coach

• Teaching Mediation Skills to Help a Team Work
  Well Together

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2004-2005 TEAMS
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FLL History

• 2004-2005 Two teams, First and Second place in
  States for Teamwork
• 2003-2004 One girls team and one boys team
• 2002-2003 First year

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Mechanical Engineering
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Simple Machines
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White Mountains Workshop

• Teambuilding activities
• Hiking to a hut
• Helping each other make it up
• Mixing it up
• Laughing a lot
• Getting to know each other
• All members must go

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Ready to Climb the Mountain
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(No Transcript)
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A Rest Stop on the Way to Tuckermans Ravine
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Kids need to take ownership of the team and their
actions.
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Team Needs

• Each member needs to belong (sharing and
  cooperating with others)
• Need to have power (fulfilled by achieving,
  accomplishing, and being recognized and
  respected)
• Need for freedom (make choices in their lives and
  being safe)
• Need for fun (fulfilled by laughing and playing)

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Students need to know that they have a voice.
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Group Togetherness Fridays
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What to Teach to the Team

• What is conflict
• Anger management
• Communications skills - active listening
• Feelings are important
• Conflict in our lives
• Conflict styles
• Win/win agreements
• Building trust
• Social skills

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A Contract
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Conflict

• Everyone has it
• Part of our everyday lives
• Will continue to exist no matter how we deal with
  it

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We Grow Through Conflict

• Learn about ourselves, others
• Learn how to communicate (listen)
• Learn the skills to solve problems
• Empathy
• Understanding
• With practice/success we become better

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Sources of Conflict

• Communication
• Resources
• Needs
• Values/perceptions
• Structural conditions

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Perceptions of Conflict

• Each person in a conflict will view the conflict
  differently. For resolution it is important that
  each understand how the other views the problem.

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Conflict Styles

• Confrontational/Aggressive
• Avoidance/Passive
• Problem Solving

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Conflict Resolution

• Directly involves the conflicting parties in both
  resolution process and outcome
• Proactively offers skills and strategies to
  participants prior to their involvement in the
  conflict
• Maximizes the use of negotiation and mediation
  processes to resolve disputes

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Feeling Are Important

• Cant begin to get at the reason(s) for a
  conflict until we deal with the underlying
  feelings

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A View to Share With All
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Anger Management

• Control
• Communicate
• Channel
• Confront

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Dont Let Anger Erupt

• Fear
• Hurt
• Stress
• Sadness
• Hostility
• Loneliness
• Feelings of failure
• Frustration

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Peer Mediation is

• A chance to work out your problem
• We wont tell you what to do
• We will not take sides
• We are not judges
• Everything is confidential
• Both parties need to want to solve the problem

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MediatorA Mediator is a person who brings people
together who are separated by disagreement and
who help them to solve the problem so that they
both win!
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Role of a Mediator

• Doesnt take sides
• Is respectful
• Helps people work together
• Keeps information confidential
• Is an active listener
• A good team worker
• Dependable and responsible

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What to do

• Listen carefully
• Be fair
• Ask how each person feels
• Let each person state what happened
• Treat each person with respect
• Keep what you are told confidential
• Mediate in private

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What not to do

• Take sides
• Tell them what to do
• Ask who started it
• Blame anyone for the situation
• Ask, Why did you do that?
• Give advice
• Look for witnesses

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Ground Rules

• No name calling or put downs
• No interrupting
• Be Honest
• Agree to solve the problem
• Do you understand

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Disputants

• Take ownership of the problem and the solutions
• When students come up with their own solutions,
  they feel in control of their lives and committed
  to the plans of actions that they have created to
  address their problems.
• Skills they develop while being a part of the
  process may carry through to their lives

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Mediation Agreement/Contract

• We have reached an agreement that we believe is
  fair and that solves the problem between us. In
  the future if we have problems that we cannot
  resolve on our own, we agree to come back to
  mediation.

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Defining the Problem

• We cant find solutions until we define it first

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I Messages

• Behavior - (What event made you angry) When...
• Feelings - (How does that behavior effect me) I
  feel
• Effect - (Reason - Why do I feel this way)
  Because
• Change - (What would make it better) What I
  would like is

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Active Listening

• Use good eye contact
• Pay attention to body posture
• Use non-verbal cues uh-huh, nod, etc
• Ask clarifying questions open or closed
  questions as needed
• Repeat back what you heard them say (in your own
  words)
• Use neutral language

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A Trust Exercise
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The Treed Cat

• Story about a student and a cat and what is
  happening.
• One student reads it to a volunteer.
• This volunteer then repeats the story from memory
  to another student that was outside of the room.
• Then this student then repeats the story to the
  second student outside of the room.

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Active Listening Game

• Draw a picture on a blackboard
• Have one group of students facing away and one
  facing the blackboard
• Students facing the blackboard has to describe
  what is on the board and the other has to draw it

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Descriptions
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Active Listening

• Students sit two circles with the inner one
  facing the outer one. Each pair talks for two
  minutes learning as much as possible about each
  other. After two minutes they repeat what they
  learned. The inner circle then moves over one
  person to the right until they have talked with
  all of the students in the outer circle.

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Tie That Shoe
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One Fish, Two Fish, Three

• Team building game
• One person in the front facing away from group
• The group of five students need to take the
  object from behind the guesser and get it back to
  base without the guesser finder out who has the
  object

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The Web

• We all look at things differently.

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The Web
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Hand Tangle
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Teamwork With Dice
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The Log Rotation
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Everyone Has To Move This Object A Little Further
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THE END