Discipline with Love and Logic

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Discipline with Love and Logic

• By Dr. John Frampton and Bridget Connolly

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Thoughts about Love and Logic

• L L is not the only way to work with children.
• L L will not work for everyone or on every
  child.
• There are as many ways to work with children as
  there are loving parents to use them.
• What we have here is lots to chew on, but
  nothing you have to swallow.

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More Thoughts

• This way works for us, but not all the time.
  Children are too unpredictable we are not always
  predictable, even to ourselves.
• Jim and Fosters, books, videos and tapes help us
  put understanding and techniques into our bag of
  tricks so that we can pick and choose what is
  best for each situation.

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We arent done thinking yet!

• This is not a presentation on what is wrong with
  you as a parent. It is a presentation on things
  we can do to make our lives with kids easier and
  maybe just a little bit fun.
• If you are looking for a way to over power
  children, L L wont do it. We have never found
  anything legal that will, neither have Jim or
  Foster. Love and Logic is a way to build working
  relationships with children so that we can raise
  the odds in favor of being successful.

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The Most Powerful Parent

• Has high expectations
• Sets firm limits
• Holds children accountable for their behavior
• Is very caring and kind
• Provides choices

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More thoughts

• There is nothing wrong with a child that a little
  arguing wont make worse.
• There is nothing more exciting to a difficult
  child than an adult angered and frustrated by
  back-talk.
• The angrier we get, the more likely the problem
  will continue and intensify.

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Neutralizing the Argument

• Two ways to neutralize arguing
• Instant empathic response
• One-Liners to neutralize

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Instant Empathic Responses

• This is so sad.
• Bummer.
• Ohhhhhthis is hard.
• Boy it must have been really hard for you to tell
  me.
• I love you too much to argue.
• I cant imagine how bad that feels.

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One Liners

• Probably so
• Nice try
• I know
• I bet it feels that way
• What do you think you are going to do?
• I dont know, what do you think?
• Bummer. How sad.
• Thanks for sharing that.
• Dont worry about it now.
• Thats an opinion.
• I bet thats true.

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Three Simple Rules.

• Take good care of your-self
• Give choices when you can
• Consequences with empathy do the teaching.

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Guidelines for Sharing Control

• Never give a choice on an issue that might cause
  a problem for you or for anyone else.
• For each choice only give two options, each of
  which will be OK with you.
• If the child doesnt decide in 10 seconds, decide
  for him or her.
• Only give choices that fit with your value system,

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Examples of Choices

• Would you like to wear your coat or carry it?
• Are you going to clean the garage or mow the
  lawn?
• Will you have these chores done tomorrow? Or do
  you need an extra day to get them finished?
• Will you be home at 10? Or do you need an extra
  half hour.
• Are you guys going to stop bickering? Or would
  you rather pay me for having to hear it?

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Love and Logic Website

• www.loveandlogic.com