Bullying: Lifelong Pain Prelude to Violence

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Bullying Lifelong Pain Prelude to Violence

• SuEllen Fried
• BullySafeUSA

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Definition of Bullying

• Bullying occurs when one or more
• individuals inflict physical, verbal,
• emotional, psychological and/or
• sexual abuse on another or others.

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Is it really a problem?

• In 2/3 of the 37 school shootings since 1974, the
  attackers felt persecuted, bullied, threatened,
  attacked or injured.
• There has been an alarming increase in youth
  suicide in the last decade and more and more
  students are experiencing depression. Between
  1980-1997, the rate of suicide increased 109 for
  10-14 year old students.
• 74 of 8-11 year old students say that teasing
  and bullying occur at their school.
• Recent study indicates that in the United States,
  
• 5,736,417 students are involved in bullying-
  as a bully, a target or both.

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Journal of American Medical Association Research
Article on Bullying

• ? The study measured the prevalence of bullying
  behaviors among youth and attempted to determine
  an association of bullying and being bullied with
  indicators of social adjustment problem
  behavior, school adjustment, social/emotional
  adjustment, and parenting.
• ? The sample included 15686 students grades
  6-10 throughout the US. Students filled out a
  survey that measured their involvement in
  bullying- either as a bully or as a target.
• ? They found that 29.9 reported being involved
  as a bully (13.0), a target (10.6) or both
  (6.3).
• ? They concluded that the prevalence of
  bullying among US youth is substantial, and that
  given the behavioral and emotional difficulties
  associated with bullying, as well as the long
  term negative outcomes for the youth involved,
  the issue of bullying merits serious attention-
  both for future research and PREVENTATIVE
  INTERVENTION.

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Four Major Concerns

• Targets
• Bullies
• Witnesses
• Teachers

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Targets

• Over 160,000 students stay home from school each
  day because of fears of what might happen to them
  on the bus, the playground, the bathroom, the
  cafeteria, the hallways, the locker room, the
  classroom, or walking home from school.
• Anxiety increases for students being bullied and
  decreases concentration- lowering students
  ability to retain and learn materials covered in
  the classroom.
• Todays target can become tomorrows bully- most
  of the students involved in classmate shootings
  had suffered rejection at the hands of their
  peers.

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Bullies

• In a research study done by Dr. Leonard Eron, he
  found
• One out of four bullies nominated by their
  classmates in the third grade, had a criminal
  record by the age of 28
• Male bullies were at greater risk to have become
  abusive husbands
• Female bullies were more likely to have become
  abusive mothers

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More Bully Research
In another research study conducted in
Norway by Dan Olweus, 60 of children identified
a s bullies between grades six and ten were cited
for criminal behavior as adults, and 40 had
three or more convictions. A study published in
Learning 94 concluded that bullies whose
behavior is allowed to continue are five times
more likely to be involved with the juvenile
justice system, to be convicted if crimes and to
have children with aggression problems.
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Witnesses

• The Silent Victim
• Develop a range of responses
• They may become angry at the target for failing
  to eliminate the situation
• They build a wall around their feelings to
  diminish the discomfort
• They conceal the situation for fear of reprisal
• They encourage and support the bully to gain
  favor with the perpetrator
• They become an accomplice

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Teachers

• On a daily basis
• 6,250 Teachers are threatened with bodily harm
  (National Education Association, NEA)
• 260 Teachers are physically assaulted (NEA)
• Teachers are also witnesses, often experiencing
  the same responses

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Teasing VS. Bullying

• What is the difference between teasing and
  bullying?
• Teasing occurs when there is a give and take -
  No one gets hurt
• Bullying occurs when one person does all the
  giving and the other person does all the taking-
  Someone gets hurt

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5 Types of Bullying

• Physical
• Verbal
• Emotional
• Sexual
• Cyber

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Can words really hurt?

• Sticks and stones can break your bones, but
  words..
• CAN BREAK YOUR HEART

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Recognize the cycle of violence
Pain
Revenge
Rage
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Recognize the cycle of violence
Pain
Suicide
Depression
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Three Kinds of Bullies

• The Proactive Bully

• Bullies for the pleasure of it
• Has no apparent motive
• Has antisocial traits
• Does not form attachments
• Can be cold and calculating

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The Reactive Bully

• Bullies in response to a perceived threat
• Is hyper-vigilant to signs of provocation
• Does not believe that he/she initiates bullying
  behavior
• May be or have been a target

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The Elitist Bully

• Bullies because of perceived position
• Has been corrupted by the power he/she acquires
  because of attractiveness, wealth, athletic
  ability, or parents status

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Apathy/Sympathy/EmpathyDiscussion with students

• Apathy- lack of feeling
• Sympathy- feeling sorry for someone
• Empathy- caring about and trying to understand
  how someone else feels
• Walk a mile in my shoes

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Strategies for schools

• Develop a school-wide policy on bullying
  prevention and intervention.

• Define unacceptable behaviors and the
  consequences for those behaviors and consistently
  impose them.

• Use consistent terminology to hold students
  accountable for various forms of bullying.

• Saturate the school atmosphere with anti-bullying
  messages and incentives.

• Determine high-risk locations for bullying and
  actively monitor these areas.

• Involve everyone to make it a whole-school team
  approach.
• Involve parents- SAC, PTO, Parent Handout

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Strategies for Teachers

• Emphasize the importance of respect and dignity
  for EVERYONE in the classroom.
• Emphasize a respect for differences of all
  kinds.
• Model appropriate behavior- apologies and
  appreciations. The ways in which you handle your
  own anger, stress, frustration and mistakes
  provide valuable lessons for students.
• Discuss difference between tattling and reporting
  
• Role play situations with students- develop
  strategies with them to handle bullying
  situations
• Teach about ethics and ethical behavior

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• Assure students of confidentiality when reporting
  bullying. THIS IS CRUCIAL!

• Never dismiss a report. Be responsive to
  students communications.

• Speak with targets and bullies separately.

• Bring the bully and victim together only if the
  target consents, but do not leave the target
  exposed and vulnerable.

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Interventions with Bullies

• Confront bullies in private- avoid giving them
  public status and power
• Determine source of bullying behavior- i.e. low
  self esteem, past target, difficulties at home,
  anger etc.
• Give opportunity to make amends
• Offer incentives for positive behavior
• Give opportunity to teach Kindness and Bully
  Prevention strategies to younger students

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Interventions with Bullies

• Proactive Bullies need to experience the
  consequences of their choices. Set the
  boundaries, establish the limits and enforce the
  penalties.

Reactive Bullies need to develop relationship
skills. Refer for anger management, empathy
training, mediation and social skills training
and problem solving approaches.
Elitist Bullies need to become less
self-centered. Assign them service learning
experiences, community volunteer opportunities
and opportunities for creative leadership.
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Interventions with Targets

• ?Targets need to hear that no child deserves to
  be bullied and that you will do all you can to
  help them.

• Teach and role play assertiveness. Give them
• language ideas, scripts and role-playing
• opportunities.

• Discuss body language and facial expressions.

• Help them recognize and break any annoying habits
  that irritate peers and attract
  bullies.

• Support and emphasize the strengths of the
  target.

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Teach students that bullies shop around for
targets and look for students who will
Cry
Comply
Deny
Fly off the handle
Dont Get Hooked By A Bully
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Interventions with Witnesses

• Establish a respectful atmosphere in the
  classroom
• Remind students of responsibility to report
  bullying incidents to an adult
• Make a commitment to keep reports confidential
• Role play strategies to support targets
• Encourage them to support the target in whatever
  manner they are comfortable.
• Discuss a sense of fairness, justice, and a moral
  code that reflects the ethics of students.

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Students are in need of S.O.S. from
teachersSkills - Observation - Support

• Skills for targets, bullies and witnesses have
  been discussed earlier.

• Observation

Monitor your class and the hallways. Instead of
talking to another teacher, watch what is
happening between classes. Occasionally walk
into student restrooms.
Discern bullying behaviors. Become more attuned
to the slights, derisive laughter and ostracizing
that takes place.
Supervise thoughtfully. Students are concerned
when the teacher leaves the classroom physically
or mentally. Leave specific instructions for
substitute teachers.
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Support
Ten Ways to Offer Support
1. Establish clear rules and consequences
regarding unacceptable behavior and enforce them
consistently. 2. Deal with verbal abuse before
it escalates. 3. Mobilize witnesses. 4. Take
bullying reports seriously. 5. Realize the
challenges of making changes. 6. Guarantee and
maintain confidentiality. 7. Avoid embarrassing
students. 8. Use classroom leaders. 9. Speak
to bullies and targets separately. 10. Reinforce
the classroom Code of Conduct
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(Support continued)
Collaborate with colleagues
1. Counselors 2. School Nurse 3. School Social
Worker 4. Custodians 5. Media Specialist 6.
Aides 7. Secretaries 8. Food Service Workers 9.
Bus Drivers 10. And, of course, other teachers