Ask The Lama

1
Ask The Lama

• The Difference between Never Give Up and
  Grasping
•  
• Helen writes At the moment I am pondering the
  difference between never give up and
  grasping. Perhaps you can help me.
•  
• Lama Surya Das This is a juicy subject, well
  worth pondering. Holding on too long is one
  problem, for sure on the other hand, letting go
  too soon and too easily is another extreme
  (unbalance) or mistake.

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Firstly, never say never. Or dont say it much.
Or say always much, either. Discovering right
action and appropriateness for yourself as an
active agent and being responsible for your own
life (and family etc.) is key, via the pathway of
your own experience and discernment, inner wisdom
and intuition, etc. This is a moment by moment
and day by day process, as well as in regard to
decisions with more long term ramifications like
marriage, commitments and projects, leave-taking,
divorce, moving house or whatever. Some people
find it quite hard to say no, as you must know,
or to maintain healthy boundaries and balance in
relationships, etc. Yet sometimes saying no can
be quite affirmative, as in learning not to spoil
children. Sometimes one makes errors of omission
by not doing what actually needs doing, which can
be equally destructiveor just unsatisfying as
errors of commission. Sometimes saying no to
someone or something includes and implies a big
yes to yourself or to something else more
valuable. Giving up might sound negative, yet
letting go and equanimous nonattachment is often
helpful and even prescribed. And surrender of
the right kind (and time and place, and for right
reasons INCLUDING NO OTHER VIABLE CHOICE) can
have great spiritual value and meaningful
purpose. I would say Never give in to
discouragement, and always cultivate an open and
clear heart-mind and attitudeIF pressed to use
totalizing words like always and never. Source
for This Article - http//www.surya.org