We Must Make Our Lives an Act of Love

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We Must Make Our Lives an Act of Love

• Created by Michael H. Cheney

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Goals for the Session

• To understand
• Love is not a feeling
• Love is essentially a decision/commitment to the
  happiness, well-being, and security of others.
• There are different levels of love based on
  different levels of commitment.
• The three stages of love.

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Review

• Vision of Life
• We each have a habitual attitude or life
  principle that governs our choices and decisions
• pleasure,
• power,
• avoidance of responsibility
• love
• Jesus vision Contributing to the good of others
  leads to ultimate fulfillment happiness.

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Making Our Lives an Act of Love

• Having made a difference in the lives of others
  leads to ultimate happiness
• That we have contributed the gift of ourselves to
  others
• The Christian asks what is the more loving
  thing to say, do, or be?

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It is through love that we enter the fullness
of life and ultimately find happiness and
fullfillment
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Thesis of Love

• Love
• is not a feeling
• is a decision-commitment
• should not be confused with the need to love
• exists at different levels based on different
  levels of commitment

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Discussion

• Do you agree that love is not a feeling?
• If it is not a feeling but rather a
  decision-commitment, what role do feelings have
  in the decision of love?

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I. Love is not a feeling

• Vacillate like yo-yos
• Sometimes feel good, relaxed, comfortable,
  romantic, social, etc
• Other times feel sad, angry, passionless,
  unhappy, and so forth
• Are fickle
• Are vital part of a relationship yet they are
  not love.

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II. Love is a decision-commitment
You know you love someone when his or her
happiness, well-being, and security are as real
or more real than your own. - Harvey Sullivan
Stack, Ph.D.
Real love requires tough love at other times,
tender love
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Discussion

• If we accept Harvey Sullivan Stacks definition,
  then what does it mean to love strangers? Or
  love ones enemies?

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III. Love should not be confused with the need to
love

• I love you because I need you
• I need you because I love you

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IV. Love exists at different levels based on
different levels of love

• Are we called to love others all the same way?
• Are there some people with whom my commitment of
  love will be closer, and others with whom it will
  not be close?

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Love exists at different levels based on
different levels of love

• We are called to love everyone, i.e., to promote
  their happiness, well-being, and security (agape)
• Yet personal friendships (philia) and romantic
  relationships (eros) are by nature selective
• Limited by time and psychological strength
• There will be different degrees of closeness
  based on different levels of commitment
• E.g., siblings, acquaintances, strangers, enemies

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Wrap-Up

• Love is a decision-commitment to the happiness of
  others
• Requires discernment to determine if its a
  season to be tough or tender in love
• Involves feelings, but is not a feeling
• Must be unconditional or its a counterfeit
• Is an art to be learned.

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Three Objects of Love

• Self
• Others (family, friends, acquaintances,
  anonymous, enemies)
• God

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Discussion

• We are called to love other unconditionally. Yet,
  how do we handle people who repeatedly betray or
  remains unfaithful to us?
• How do we reconcile our love of the person and
  love of ourselves in this situation?

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Three Stages of Love
Stretch You can do it!
Challenge
You can do it!
I care for you Im on your side
Encouragement
Kindness
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Discussion

• Have you ever had to offer tough love? Was it
  effective or not? Explain.

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An Act of Love, Not Another Performance
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Wheres your focus?

• Its impossible to be nervous when you are
  genuinely loving another.
• Do you ever become nervous in front of others,
  for example, having to give a speech?
• Recall a situation in which your focus of
  attention was on another and not on yourself.
  Describe how you felt. Were you nervous or
  comfortable? If you were nervous, was it because
  your attention was not totally on the other
  person? If you felt comfortable, was it because
  you focused your attention on them?

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Love of God

• Christian belief asserts that God is love.
• Accordingly, Christianity asserts that
• Love is a gift of God
• When we love, God acts

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Small Group Exercise

• Love is a Gift of God
• When we love, God acts
• Discuss the meaning of these two phrases and
  offer a clear explanation of what they mean.

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The only life worth living is a life for others -
Albert Einstein

• Making the commitment to Love Self, Others, God
• promote the happiness of others and ourselves
  (agape),
• strive to do Gods will in all things,
• utilize the 3 parts of love (KEC)
• act as Gods instruments of peace and love to
  effect a more humane and caring world,
• we will discover true happiness and fulfillment.