Theyve Got Mail

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Theyve Got Mail

• Youve Got Trouble

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Complicated Times

• Technology blurs lines
• Children's lives are media driven
• Exceptions to darker side of cyberspace grow
  more common with more users
  
• Beyond not giving out your name and phone number
• Problems are nuanced and complex

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A Day on the Web Are We Talking Ethics,
Legalities or Technical Problems?

• Your kid
• gets a piece of chain mail to pass along to 10
  friends or face death.
  
• sends an email telling a friend that he suspects
  another classmate stole his iPod.
  
• posts a photo to their Myspace page showing
  classmates guzzling beer.
  
• goes to a teacher ranking website and comments
  that the teacher is gay.
  
• puts up a fake webpage posing as another
  student
  

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Serious Peer Pressure
My third daughter accidentally failed in a
suicide attempt three years ago. She followed
instructions she got on the Internet as to how
much of what meds to use, how to get them down
long enough for them to work, and how best to
ensure "success." She bought most of those meds,
and a pill crusher, on the Internet. She got
succor in some sort of bulletin board system from
encouragers (who must therefore be living thus
not taking their own encouragements).
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When Hormones Meet Hi Tech

• Say things without thinking
• Practical Jokes
• Dares and Bets
• Shaky Self Esteem
• Posturing for Popularity
• Lack of Experience and Maturity
• Meets
• High Speed Global Communications

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Why Bother?

Why Bother?
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A Big Leap of Faith

• New skills
• New opportunities
• A collaborative global citizen
• A new definition of smart
• A safe training ground as prep for life

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Being Digital
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Digital By Birth

• Dont think about tech
• Have never seen a typewriter
• Dont remember when the computer wasnt connected
  
  
• Web page are business cards blogs get the jobs
• Want their education personalized and SHORT

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An Outpost for Personal Expression

• Overscheduled lives
• Overly competitive
• Helicopter Parents
• A place to try on
• and act out
• Non-formalized
• Learn about tech. on the
• streets

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Particularly Perplexing The Tool At the Center
of the Universe
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The Center of Entertainment Life

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The Center of Social Life
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The Center of Academic Life
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All Simultaneously
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An Uphill Battle for Parents

• Internet pumps all of our weak spots into your
  living room
  
• Almost impossible not to multi-task
• As soon as youve got your arms around it it
  changes
  
• Busy parents prioritize Internet regulation is
  seen as hard and non-life threatening
  

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What makes kids so tech savvy?

• Theyre NOT!
• They are risk takers
• They dont anticipate consequences
• Parents apply real-world experience to web-world

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The New Mobility Makes It Worse

• 65 of American children between 10 and 18 have
  cell phones.
  
• Same problems with higher costs and less
  protection than computers.
  

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Where the kids are
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Where the Kids Are

• Community Xanga, Live Journal, NeoPets,
  MySpace, ratemyteacher
  
• Entertainment real.com, quizilla,
  cartoonetwork.com Miniclip teenfx.com,
  ebaumworld.com
  
• Content Lyrics.com, espn,
• Info Teenhealth.com goaskalice.com, sparknotes

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Some General Themes

• Mystery, quizzes, music , sports, games, quick
  hits, grossology
  
• Quirky, graphic, immediate
• Most of the sites let you talk to other users
• compares you to others
• Can cost for premium services or points

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Trouble When Hormones Meet High Speed

• Inappropriate Sites Inappropriate
  Communications
  
• PrivacyPiracy and Plagiarism
• Social Networking

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Theyve Got Mail Y

Inappropriate Content
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How Bad is It?

• SEX is 1 topic search McGraw-Hill
• Only 2 of the network (260 million pages) is
  inappropriate. Its just very loud, vocal
  and graphic.
  
• 41.2 million hits on Google compared with 194
  million for "iPod" -- and 551 million for the
  word "blog
  
• 7 in 10 15-17 year olds have found porn
• Most disturbing is the rise in teenage
  pornographers

Pornified Kaiser Foundation
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How do kids find this stuff?

• Searching (Porn-napping)
• Lolita/teens/ toys
• Typo-squatting
• mistyping and misspellings
• Curiosity
• Home page and free tours on most porn sites are
  free
  
• Emailed messages to visit a site
• how they find your kids names?
• spiders/crawlers/software/lists
• Entrapment
• links, mouse trapping

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Searching without filtering
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Why do they want your kids?

• No credit cards but
• they count as traffic
• What are the effects of porn?
• varies with age
• internet porn is very graphic and often very
  deviant
  
• body and self image defined by what they see

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Its Not Just Porn thats Inappropriate

• Hate
• Racism
• Weapons
• Suicide
• Witchcraft
• Violence
• NON-TRUTHS AND OPINION MIXED WITH FACT

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Not just porn
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Tools Filtering/Blocking Software

• Block web sites Modify lists, control words kids
  can type, and ease up on the reins.
  
• Limit access to areas Chat sites, shopping or
  control time on computer activity
  
• Monitor activitiy sites visited, blocked or not.
  
  
• Inventory of your children's computer, and find
  all pictures, movies, music files and web pages.
  

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Cyberpatrol Categories
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Serious Issues/Serious Software

• Spectorsoft
• Logs keystrokes
• Chats
• IMs
• Downloads

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Parental Controls for P2P, Instant Messenger,
Video Games.
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Free and Low Cost Tools

• Built-in Parental controls (50 of families with
  younger kids (and parents) use this)
  
• AOL, MSN, Earthlink
• Use Search engine filters Google safe search
• Know Your Browser Controls
• Browser Settings
• Bottom Line Something is better than nothing. If
  you show kids you have your eye on it they are
  more cautious.
  
• Click on options and preferences that come with
  your service.

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Problems with Technology

• A nuisance to maintain
• A false sense of protection
• Over and under blocking issues
• Where theres a will theres an easy way around
  it
  

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No Tech Tools

• Computer in well trafficked area
• Pop in often
• Search history files
• Be a pain
• Protect and Defend
• Share we all make mistakes
• Use News as Conversation Starters

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Theyve Got Mail Y

Two Way Dangers Email, IM, Chat, Blogs
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Trends in Communications

• Younger participants
• Email is for parents and teachers! IM on the
  rise.
  
• SMS on Phones
• Shorthand language
• Multimedia and photo growing
• Communicate while doing other things

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Natural Curiosity Meets Predatory Behavior

• 1 in 5 children encounter a sexual approach or
  solicitation online. Youth Internet Survey
  
• 89 of solicitations occur in chat rooms or
  Instant messages. Pew Study
  

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Shared Concerns
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Instant Messaging

• Instant does NOT mean it disappears instantly!
• Four in every 10 online Americans use IM (11
  million of the 53 do it at work)
  
• Immediate does not mean anonymous
• Can save, edit and forward an IM
• A Pedophiles Playground
• Trojans, works and hackers proliferate

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Kids love the Immediate in IM

• Dont need to check it, It finds you.
• Add Voice and Video
• it will be the new phone in the home
• Send files, games, music
• Personalization
• Away Messages
• Emoticons, Unique Language
• Multiple Screen Names for Multiple Personalities
• Shared Buddy Lists

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Advice from the Pew Foundation

• Never post personal information on IM
• Never respond to an unsolicited message.
• Dont post your IM screen name on websites.
• Dont click on links in a message from people you
  dont know.
  
• Set preferences on IM client to only accept
  messages from buddy list.

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What else can kids do?

• No profile pages
• Learn to block buddies
• Dont feed the flames
• Dont use specific away messages
• Know every buddy on your list!
• Have an adult you can turn to
• Dont delete messages you may need to show an
  adult

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Red Flags

• People who
• can't keep their story straight
• initiate sexual conversation
• don't know the answers to teen pop culture
• pressure to send photos or meet in person
• ask for more information than you're comfortable
  giving out
  

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Social Networking

• Combination of a blog/diary, a personal ad and
  cyber-dating combined (20 of teens keep them
  38 read them (Pew)
  
• Unwittingly involve others in their candor
• Need to be counted
• No differentiation between low value and high
  value friends
  
• Kids need to be aware of the dangers of revealing
  too much.
  
• For now Drive by in cyberspace

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Myspace.com
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Rate my teacher
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The Facebook Site of the Moment

• Need a .edu address/creates an aura of safety
• Version for high school and college
• Personal Profile
• Profile Fields are Searchable
• who did I go to high school with
• who lives in my town
• who likes Franz Ferdinand

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Picture of a Facebook Page
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Facebook cont

• You must invite friends to be in your group
  their friends become your friends
  
• The Wall posts comments about you
• Photos can create a photo diary with tags that
  others can search
  
• Scrutiny by adult community is fair game and
  should be expected

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What You Should Know

• False sense of safety in the .edu
• Teachers, College Counselors, Marketers,
  Predators have become hip to the Facebook
  
• 75 percent of recruiters use search engines to
  uncover information about candidates, and 26
  percent of recruiters have eliminated candidates
  because of information found online.
• Kids are not using built in safety features
• You should have access to their passwords and
  accounts
  
• Google and Search within these sites

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User Generated Content.

• Sadly, the biggest worry today is not from
  pornographers, pedophiles or intruders but from
  kids whove can act differently on the Internet
  than they would in the real world

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Cyberbullying

• Actions
• Being mean
• Name calling
• Spreading rumors or lies,
• Being intentionally or repeatedly hurtful.

• Tools
• email,
• cell phone/messaging,
• pager,
• websites
• Blogs and journals
• online polls
• Instant messages
• chat rooms

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Dimensions of the Problem

• 58 of kids say someone has said something mean
  or hurtful to them online
  
• 53 says theyve said something mean of hurtful
  to someone
  
• 58 of kids have not told their parents about
  this
  
• HOME IS NOT A REFUGE FROM BULLIES ANY LONGER

Cybersmart Curriculum
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Is this a cyberbully?

• A boy receives a provocative picture from a girl
  who likes him. The boy shares it with a friend,
  who shares it with the world.
  
• The Numba Numba boy.
• A class votes for the ugliest girl in school on a
  web site.
  
• A boy writing on MySpace says his teacher is gay
  and hitting up on the students.
  
• A group of girls IM each other about which girl
  in class theyll pick on tomorrow in gym.
  

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Dimensions

• Speed and Persistence of Communications
• Higher Income Families
• Im going to kill you if you tell someone
• Perceived anonymity
• Tracking can be difficult and misleading
• Complex motives and personalities of the bully-ers

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What Can You Do?

• Drive By
• Use Technology like IM
• Work with School to Update Code Of Conduct to
  include Electronic Behavior
  
• Be a Role Model
• Teach how to Take 5

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Privacy

• Is Privacy a Generational Artifact?
• Is it Valued?
• 40 of thefacebook students list phone (BWeek)
• Expect invasions
• Something you trade for a good prize
• Studies show a disbelief and lack of concern

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Kids receive SPAM and SPIM

• Asked to divulge info, buy drugs, have sex
• 67 of all computers are Spyware infected. IDC
• Internet related fraud in 2004 cost US consumers
  over 265 million. Consumer Sentinel
  

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Spam filters
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phishing
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Rules for Keeping Junk Out

• Dont reply
• Dont open unknown attachments or emails
• Study address
• Look at company names, foreign countries, asking
  too much info
  
• Ask parental permission before entering contests
  
  
• Anytime you give your email name to a site it
  will travel
  

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Piracy and Plagiarism

• Illegal downloading of music, software, games,
  movies
  
• Take mentality
• March 05 275 million songs were downloaded
  illegally versus 25 million online song purchases
  
  
• Random Excuse Generators
• I have no money
• They make too much money
• Everyone does it
• My Dad does it
• Ill pay when I grow up

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Peer to Peer Networking

• What is it?
• Why is it scary?
• theft of intellectual property
• spread of viruses
• identity theft
• porn-filled
• legal ramifications

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What can you do ?

• Listen to their arguments but be firm.
• Be a role model.
• Dont play ostrich.
• Consider a digital allowance .
• Look at cost alternatives MusicNow, emusic,
  napster, musicmatch
  
• CinemaNow
• Watch out for iPorn

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A Word on Mobile Phones

• What they do?
• SMS messaging
• Photos sharing
• Ringtones
• games
• MP3
• GPS
• Organize
• Browse
• RUN UP A BILL
• NO BLOCKING

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What Can Go Wrong

• Porn
• Spam (SPIM)
• Viruses
• Cyberbullying
• Photo Mischief
• Phones Have less protection than computers and
  keep records for less time
  
• You can look at
• Pay for play
• Look at phone buddies
• Limit monthly charges

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A Graduated Approach

• A 6 year old should have a limited list
• Gauge responsibility award privilege
• AOL, MSN and Earthlink support age appropriate
  rules
  
• Use IM and Other Tech with your family
• Know whos on your childs buddy list, where they
  surf
  
• Watch for signs of unhealthy behavior and REACT
• Its fine to take Internet privilege away

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Your High Tech Arsenal

• Anti-virus
• Anti-spam
• Spyware Blockers
• Pop Up Blockers
• Personal Firewall
• Look at Control Panel Internet Options, Firewall
  Options, Security
  
• Optional Parental Controls
• One Stop Shopping?
• MSN Premium
• Symantec
• Macafee

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Your Most Important Job?Cultivating Healthy
Digital Family Rituals

• Communicating newsletters, emails, chat rooms
• Keeping Organized Family Calendars
• Preserving Memories Digital Photography and
  Video
  
• Planning Vacations, Purchases, College  
• Internet Trivia Games
• Family Favorite Sites
• School Website as a Parent/Teacher/Student bond

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New Internet Safety Technologies

• Biometrics
• Voice, Eye, Thumb
• Smart Cards
• Black GPS Devices
• RFID Devices

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Know Your Resources

• Visit sites like wiredsafety.org NetSmartz.org,
  safekids.com, isafe.org,consumerwatch.org
  
• Know where to report problems
• Local authorities save records
• NCMEC CyberTipline, FTC.org

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The Swimming Pool Analogy

• Can protect kids from pools by putting up fences
• Can deploy pool alarms
• Can legislate laws holding pool owners
  responsible
  
• But the best strategy is teaching kids to swim