Phases of small group life

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Phases of small group life
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Personal visit phase

• From a freshman perspective. My youth minister
  told me to get involved as soon as I get to
  campus. They find a card in their room, fill it
  out and turn it in to the front desk. Hears lots
  of talk in their min-con gorup about churches and
  ministries on campus. May go home the first
  weekend of school or may go with a group to a
  church. May attend CommonPlace cookout the first
  day of class. Maybe they hear from a group that
  they only wanted students with a high degree of
  commitment. How can I make a commitment to a
  group of people Ive never met and a leader I
  know nothing about? I dont even know what Im
  being asked to commit to.

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• A knock comes at the door. Kristen Lewellen and
  Jenny Allen invite the freshman to CommonPlace.
  come and meet everyone else and get to know us.
  Well tell you more about what we have planned,
  when we will meet, what we will do, and wed also
  like to hear what youd like. Maybe the
  freshman will feel a surge of hope, interest, and
  even excitement as she anticipates going to
  CommonPlace.

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• We initially approach people/groups with a desire
  for relationship. Ambivalent feelings from high
  hopes to doubts Who are these people? Will they
  accept the real me? Will I be able to trust the
  leader? What are the purposes of the group? How
  much time will this take? Will I like the group?
• Students will explore the first weeks of school.
• Coversatoins tend to be excessively polite about
  safe topics. Where are you from? What dorm do
  you live in? Who are your roommates? What is
  your major? Topics that do not require a strong
  personal opinion. Students are looking for
  common areas of interest and signs that they are
  accepted.
• Some students will be highly committed to the
  group, others more cautious.
• Group members want two things 1) to be able to
  trust others, to be known, to be real 2) to feel
  liked and trusted
• Group members fear conflict and usually avoid it.

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The role of leader during personal visit phase

• Talk with students in person. Roommates usually
  do not pass on messages, students learn to delete
  email, anwering machines do not talk back.
• Include information of when, where, what, and
  why.
• Talk about puposes and expectations.
• Tell students your dreams for the group and for
  their life individually.
• You as leader are the emotional bridge.
• Remind the student of your prayer for them, Gods
  love and involvement with them as an individual
  and as a group.
• Leaders take most of the initiative. Meet with
  the students individually. Meet for a Dr.
  Pepper, a walk. Where is God at work in the
  students life? Repeat your hopes and dreams and
  let the student see God in your life.
• Bring a co-leader with you.
• You can know who is coming to your first meeting,
  you should not be wondering. A personal visit
  before the first meeting is crucial. Emails and
  phone calls remind but do not enlist.
• The start up phase does not get you ready for the
  real thing, it is the real thing.

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First meeting

• Three weeks of CommonPlace will have elapsed.
• Share names and an interesting fact about
  yourself. Leader starts.
• Share about the highs and lows of past week.
  Leader starts.
• Leader shares recent Christian growth experience.
• Explain what a typical meetign will look like and
  how long it will last. Does the group have
  suggestoins for the meeting? Explain outward
  ministry. Encourage group members to bring
  friends, fill the empty chair.
• Bible reading and reflection.
• Share prayer requests.
• Pray
• Set up next weeks individual appointments

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Transition

• Superficial, polite relationships become less
  satisfying, the desire for deeper friendship and
  more activitiy grow stronger.
• Trust is growing, students are becoming more open
  and honest.
• Leader models openness and honesty.