Coping with Redundancy Presentation

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Coping with RedundancyPresentation

• Interaction
• Support
• Inspiration

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OVERWHELMING MESSAGE

• IS ONE OF OPTIMISM

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A Great Optimist

• Ernest Shackleton

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The Endurance Expedition

• Original advertisement in Times of London 1901
• Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages.
  Bitter cold. Long months of complete darkness.
  Constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honour and
  recognition in case of success.

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Story of Ernest Shackelton

• Polar explorer
• Took 30 men on an expedition to the South Pole
  aboard Endurance in 1914
• Ship became stuck in the ice
• Ship was crushed and had to be abandoned.
  Certain death faced the crew.
• Drifted on ice for months, eventually had to
  board life boats.
• Made it to Elephant Island, an uninhabitable spot
  in the South Atlantic.
• Took one lifeboat and five best men and sailed
  for fifteen days in the open in the Arctic ocean.
• Arrived at South Georgia in a hurricance.
• Crossed the island, a feat never attempted
  before.
• Arrived at the whaling station, scared the living
  daylights out of the whalers!
• Had a Cup of tea and immediately set off to
  recover his men, who were dotted around the South
  Atlantic.
• Recovered all of his party intact, after over two
  years on the ice.
• Surely one of the great leaders and OPTIMISTS of
  all time.

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Shackleton on Optimism

• Talking to a group of schoolboys after his
  Endurance mission.
• In the face of danger, disaster or
  dissappointment, never EVER give up hope.
  Anything can be got over

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Interaction

• How you are feeling now could vary enormously
  from person to person.
• We all have different explanatory styles. This
  means the way we explain a situation we find
  ourselves in, to ourselves.
• Story of Victor Frankl
• We formed belief systems during childhood. These
  mostly came from our parents. Some are learnt
  later, but not many.
• One of these explanatory styles will determine
  how we discuss difficulties in our life. I keep
  things to myself, mostly, but everyone says it is
  so clearly written all over my face that I
  usually end up having to talk about it!

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A problem shared is a

• Pain in the ..
• No.
• One of the reasons we started these seminars is
  that it is often very therapeutic to talk things
  through, or at least to meet others with similar
  issues.
• Not much is unique, and we always find others
  feel the same as us.
• So please feel fee to chat to people around you.
  You will feel better. A new opportunity could
  from come it!
• We are setting up an online community on our
  website - CopingWithRedundancy.com. This is to
  allow the support, encouragement and synergy to
  develop between people. Please give it a try.

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Support

• There are many ways to feel better. Here are
  three of my favourite tools
• The Pessimism test
• The ABCDE
• Taking stock and being grateful

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The Pessimism Test

• When you feel pessimistic there are normally
  three aspects to it
• Interactive exercise

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Three areas of Pessimism

• Permanence
• Assumption
• This will last forever
• Reassurance
• No bad situation ever does. Things always
  improve, in some way, eventually, and will for
  you.

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Three areas of Pessimism

• Pervasiveness (or Seepage)
• Assumption
• Everything is bad, all aspects of life are
  terrible
• Reassurance
• This is never true.
• There will always be areas of your life that are
  in good shape, and are working for you. The
  trick is to compartmentalise them. Well talk
  about this later when we discuss gratitude.

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Three areas of Pessimism

• Personalisation
• Assumption
• What is bad in my life is to do with me.
• Reassurance
• This is never solely true.
• In life things will happen to you, but you must
  ask whether it really is to do with you.
• In this instance, the overriding reason for the
  spate of redundancies in this country right now
  is a macroeconomic event.

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THE ABCDE

• Interactive exercise
• Keep an ABCDE diary for the next few days, just
  long enough for you to record the the five ABCs
  from your own life
• A ADVERSITY
• B BELIEF
• C CONSEQUENCES
• The purpose is to make you aware of the
  connection between a certain adversity - even a
  minor one, and a consequent feeling.

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Example of an ABC record

• Adversity
• For the third time in one day a nearly there
  job application has gone to another person
• Belief
• It just goes to show I havent got what it takes
  to get a job, what chance do I stand, in this
  climate?
• Consequences
• I feel I just cant face another interview. I
  will go home tonight, have a few beers, and take
  tomorrow off to find something that I am actually
  good at. I end up getting home late in bad
  shape. I wake up the next day feeling awful.

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From ABC record to ABCDE positivity.

• A Adversity
• B Belief
• C Consequences
• D DISPUTATION
• Have I been realistic in my assessment of nearly
  there? Three rejections in one day is a
  statistical oddity! I am better than that.
• E ENERGISATION
• If I keep plugging away, statistically I MUST be
  successful.
• I will contact my interviewers and ask for
  feedback. I will use this to refine my approach,
  over and over until I have perfected my
  technique. I feel in charge again.

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Take stock and feel grateful

• The third method of cheering yourself up is to
• Take stock of your life and make a list of all
  the great things in it.
• INTERACTIVE EXERCISE

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AN EXAMPLE OF GRATITUDE

• I AM GRATEFUL FOR
• MY HEALTHY BODY
• MY BRAIN THAT ABSORBS INFORMATION
• MY WIFE, MY SOULMATE
• MY CHILDREN, THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE
• MY EXTENDED FAMILY, PARENTS IN LAWS, AUNTS,
  UNCLES.
• MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS AND THEIR GREAT SUPPORT.
• LIVING IN HASLEMERE, ONE OF THE BEST TOWNS IN
  BRITIAN
• LIVING IN WAVERLEY (OFFICIALLY THE BEST BOROUGH
  IN BRITAIN)
• BEING A BRITISH CITIZEN,
• ENJOYING ALL THE FREEDOM OF A DEMOCRACY
• BEING IN A COUNTRY WHERE FREE ENTERPRISE IS
  POSSIBLE
• AND SO ON

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THE POWER OF GRATITUDE

• It creates a virtuous circle
• Being thankful for what you have makes you feel
  blessed, and also prepares you to receive more.
• Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns
  what we have into enough, and more. It turns
  denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion
  to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a
  house into a home, a stranger into a friend
• Melody Beattie

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So, to recap.

• The the three steps to a happier feeling
• are
• PUT YOUR PESSIMISM INTO PERSPECTIVE

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So, to recap.

• The the three steps to a happier feeling
• are
• PUT YOUR PESSIMISM INTO PERSPECTIVE
• CHALLENGE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS - ABCDE

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So, to recap.

• The the three steps to a happier feeling
• are
• PUT YOUR PESSIMISM INTO PERSPECTIVE
• CHALLENGE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS - ABCDE
• GET GRATEFUL!

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INSPIRATION

• It is definitely possible that a huge change in
  career could be the catalyst for great change in
  your life.
• It is also possible that you want to carry on
  with your current job.
• At the point when you lose your job, there are
  two clear choices
• Either carry on with what you were doing before
  or
• Discover if there is a new plan for you.
• HOW CAN WE DECIDE WHICH ONE TO DO?

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Three tools for finding your plan

• Get an image of your life in the future
• Find your purpose
• Make a plan

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Finding your plan

• Why should I?
• Because if you are going to climb the ladder of
  success - make sure of one thing.

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Lean against the right Wall

• Make sure it is leaning against the right wall!!!
• So many make this mistake

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No purpose no road map

• Going through life without a purpose is like
  driving a car without a map.
• All directions become equal, all effort is wasted

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My Example

• As a boy I absolutely loved Star Trek!
• I was particularly taken with Capt Kirk.
• In my world as an eight-year old he represented
  and ideal
• Great guy, leadership, courage, humour,
  intelligence.
• He wasnt real, but he was a role model to me.
• Subconsciously I wanted to be him!

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My example

• Strangely, it actually occurred to me that I am
  living out a version of his life now.
• I am lucky enough to be a Captain with British
  Airways.
• In the next few years I am going on the
  superjumbo.
• Close as Ill get!

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Purposes can come true

• You can achieve your purpose in life,
• even if it seems a distant dream!
• My purpose has evolved into something
• Else.
• Purposes can and should evolve
• For now, decide your initial one.

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What do you want your life to be about?

• Maybe its time to free yourself
• Decide consciously how you want to live your
  life, every single day.
• Your power to choose, after life itself, is your
  greatest freedom.
• This choice is the major determinant of where you
  end up in life.
• You have the right to compose your own future
  history.
• Anyone who ever achieved it made a choice first.
• Even in the worst conditions of life people can
  still exercise their right to think and react, as
  they choose.
• Read Victor Frankl, not Jordan or Beckham!

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Big or Small

• Your purpose in life could be big or small
• Walk on Mars, or
• Devote yourself entirely to one person.
• Whatever you decide to do, enjoy the process,
  because we spend most of our lives in process!

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Effective or efficient

• Ask yourself
• Am I doing things right - Efficiency ?
• Am I doing the right thing - Effectiveness?
• Purpose in life is all about doing the right
  thing.

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Your purpose should be simple

• Think simple
• What is that thing that you have been put on
  earth to do?
• Step out of the moment and into eternity - Tony
  Robbins
• Our destiny in life is two things
• Who do we become as people
• What do we contribute?

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Trust your instincts

• The best way to discover your purpose is to trust
  your instincts.
• If you never discover your purpose, how can you
  win the game of life?

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Finding your Purpose

• Interactive exercise
• Who did you want to be when you were a child?
• Why?
• Who else
• Why?

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Childhood dreams

• Remember a time when you were really on a role,
  an absolutely class one experience.
• What were you doing?

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Now, what is your purpose?
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The joy of planning!

• The Harvard Study
• 1940 class
• 30 years later
• 90 had no life plan
• 7 had a mental plan
• 3 had a written plan
• The 3 earnt more than the 97

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The next steps!

• Determine your plan
• A bit beyond the scope of the time we have
  available tonight
• Make a set of specific results, how, why and
  when.
• Give yourself good reasons

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Good luck