Creating Covenants

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Covenants

• Creating Covenants
• for Unitarian Universalist Congregations
• General Assembly 2008
• Eunice Benton and Connie Goodbread

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Covenant - Chalice Lighting

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What is this workshop about?

• What does it mean to be in covenantal
  relationship?
• A little bit of history
• What is a behavioral covenant?
• How do we begin to develop covenants?
• How do we develop congregational covenants?
• How do we live our covenants?

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The Rabbis Gift - By Scott Peck
A story illustrating what it means to live in
covenant.
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What does it mean to be in covenantal
relationship?

• What would it take for us to see
• the holy or the divine
• in each person with
• whom we tussle in congregational life?
• - Rev. Tom Owen-Towle
• Growing Beloved Community

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What does it mean to be in covenantal
relationship?

• Its about making respectful behavior the norm --
  the way we do it here
• Its about good manners !
• It is about valuing our community and taking care
  of it by being respectful, by practicing
  respectful behavior with each other.

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What does it mean to be in covenantal
relationship?

• It means understanding that we truly are all in
  this together.
• So, it is a good investment to pay attention to
  how we treat each other how we behave.
• It is a good investment in caring for the
  community we cherish as well as the persons who
  are part of it.

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A Little Bit of History

• We struggle with the concept of covenant - why?
  
• Where do our feelings come from?

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Covenant - History - Abraham

• Blood pact between unequal parties.
• Sacrifice and submission.

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Covenant - History - Moses

• God promises to protect the people, they promise
  to uphold his code of conduct.
• The ark of the covenant is the physical
  manifestation of the covenant between God and His
  people.

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Covenant - History - Prophets

• Partnership between God and His people to finish
  creation.

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Cambridge Platform 1648

• Polity
• Youre not the boss of me.
• We are all in this together,
• To work for a just and loving world.

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Cambridge Platform 1648

• Covenant
• The wonderful material that is used to build a
  house is not a house.
• We define ourselves.
• We agree to come together.
• We are more together than we are apart.
• By our works shall they know us.

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Unitarian Universalist Association

• We, the member congregations of the Unitarian
  Universalist Association, covenant to affirm and
  promote

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Unitarian Universalist Congregations

• Are covenantal not creedal
• faith communities

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What is a behavioral covenant?

• A deep abiding promise between equals .
• To partner with each other and
• that which is bigger than ourselves
• To work for a just and loving community.

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What is a behavioral covenant?

• An understanding set down in a
• written document, agreed to
• and owned by its creators,
• and practiced on a daily basis
• as a spiritual discipline.

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How do we begin to develop covenants?

• Behavioral covenants start with
• Naming our common values,
• Naming the value of good manners
• Ourselves.

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How do we begin to develop covenants?

• Where do we begin?
• With Leadership
• With Boards and Staff

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How do we begin to develop covenants?

• How?
• Discussion
• Discernment
• Development
• Practice

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How do we begin to develop covenants?

• Discussion - (the why)
• talking to one another about why we would do
  this,
• what is the purpose?

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How do we begin to develop covenants?

• Discernment - (whats important)
• - what are the things we need to address ?
• what are the behaviors we want to model?

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How do we begin to develop covenants?

• Development - (the words) What are words we will
  use?
• Wordsmithing to get it right
• - Reworking it and living with it and reworking
  it again.

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Mid-South District Board Covenant

• We come together as leaders in faith, embracing
• and honoring the many perspectives we bring.
  Grateful
• for the privilege of serving the people of the
  Mid-South
• District, and mindful of our responsibility to
  be good
• stewards of District resources, we covenant with
  one
• another to hold in reverence the religious
  community
• of which we are a part and to promote, through
  our
• service, the saving message of Unitarian
  Universalism.

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Mid-South District Board Covenant

• In our work together, we promise to be fully
  present to one another, treating each person with
  dignity and respect. We promise to listen
  deeply, share openly, respect boundaries, and
  keep confidences, where appropriate. We will
  strive to remember those in and beyond our
  movement whose voices are not being heard. Where
  conflict arises, we will see opportunity to
  listen, learn and grow.

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Mid-South District Board Covenant

• Ours will be an open process, responsive to the
  needs of the congregations we serve. We will
  take our roles, but not ourselves, seriously,
  leaving room for fellowship and fun. We will
  strive to stay on task, honor commitments, and
  not promise more than we can fulfill. We
  approach our work boldly, faithfully, and
  religiously, celebrating our milestones and
  challenging ourselves ever further.

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Mid-South District Board Covenant

• In this spirit, we commit ourselves to serve
  together as able and creative leaders in the
  Mid-South District.

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How do we begin to develop covenants?

• Practice
• A board or staff can practice and maintain a
  covenant by
• Reading the covenant together regularly
  especially as meetings begin
• Reminding each other of the covenant especially
  when sticky moments arise
• Talking about the covenant with congregation
  members and others

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How do we develop congregational covenants?

• After a time when leadership has struggled with
  what a covenant is and how it is best used - we
  may begin the process to develop a congregational
  covenant.

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How do we develop congregational covenants?

• Using the same process
• Discussion
• Discernment
• Development
• Practice

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How do we develop congregational covenants?

• DISCUSSION
• Congregation meetings can explore the notion and
  value of having a covenant.
• The minister can include the concept in sermons.
• Special workshops can focus on covenant.

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How do we develop congregational covenants?

• DISCERNMENT DEVELOPMENT
• A special task force can provide leadership
• The leadership task force can invite ideas from
  the congregation
• The leadership task force can draft some words
• The congregation can discuss, amend and approve
  the words and vote to adopt the covenant!

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How do we develop congregational covenants?

• PRACTICE.(the doing)
• Once the covenant is adopted
• Calling ourselves and each other back into
  covenant over and over.
• Letting our new members know that the covenant is
  part of the expectation of membership.
• This is the way we do it around here.

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How do we live our covenants?
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How do we live our covenants?

• Speak the Truth in Love A Covenant for
  Working Together
• Speaking
• We will speak for ourselves and not for others
• the Truth
• We will speak only of our own experience
• We will speak as factually as possible
• in Love
• We will speak honestly, with respect, and listen
  to understand

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How do we live our covenants?

• Practice Deep Listening
• Listen to understand,
• not to prepare a response.
• Listening to understand does not require
  agreement.
• Concentrate on the other persons thoughts
  and feelings, not your own.
• Activate your holy curiosity about this persons
  interests.

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How do we live our covenants?

• This is covenantal dialogue
• Respond to others creatively rather than
  critically
• Affirm the merit in what you have heard.
• Share positive reactions before jumping to
  concerns, questions, or criticisms.
• Ask clarifying questions

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How do we live our covenants?

• Seek to understand
• then to be understood

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How do we live our covenants?

• What doesnt work to nurture a sense of
  covenantal community?
• Petitions rather than open dialogue
• Confidential surveys or questionnaires
• Large public congregational meetings
• A hearing

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How do we live covenants?

• We are adults.
• We can choose not to be offended.
• - Dr. Fred Luskin

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Covenant

• A covenant is a tool
• not an end

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How do we live our covenants?

• Some of the congregations here at this workshop
  have experience with developing covenants.
• (The workshop heard some stories.!)

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Unitarian Universalism striving to build
communities where faith and tolerance coexist in
harmony.
Is this the way of the world?