Simple Off-Grid System Review

1
Simple Off-Grid System Review

• As we grow older and form relationships with
  partners, our truest mirror of where we are at on
  all levels, survival strategies can build into
  hugely complicated behaviours that manifest in
  all sorts of ways. To explain all this, I will
  call on one of my past and best survival
  strategies which looks like this and people..
  it's a common one! Current boyfriend would say or
  do something that triggered my fear of losing his
  love. I would react by saying words to push him
  away, usually by text and threatening to the
  health of the relationship. My tactic in this
  particular strategy was to get him to run after
  me and prove how much he loved me and would never
  leave. A temporary sticking plaster over the
  gaping wound of lack of love from my dear dad, as
  I grew up. A huge fear that was white in nature.
  Not having a man's love felt like crippling pain
  beyond comprehension.

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Simple Off-Grid System Plan

• My reason for writing this article is because
  very tragically and suddenly I lost a dear friend
  this Christmas. His passing and what I can only
  assume must have been in very troubled internal
  circumstances, left me wondering about the walls
  of defense to love that we so ardently build
  around ourselves and carry through life with the
  perception that they will prevent us from pain
  and sorrow. But what of a defense if it only
  serves ultimately to isolate us and starve us
  from love and indeed life?
• I heard the phrase "survival strategy" on a
  relationship communication course run by an
  extraordinary human being in early December,
  called Hedy Schleifer. Our survival strategy, a
  better way to describe defences, she says,
  prevents us from truly engaging in life and can
  harm our relationships with our partners and
  loved ones as we try and protect our delicate
  hearts from pain.

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• Survival strategies start building from birth
  crucially through our first key relationship with
  our caretakers or parents. The reactions from our
  caretakers to our natural behaviours as babies
  and children through each stage of growth can
  produce, what Imago Relationship Therapy calls,
  the "fragmented self" which comprises the lost,
  denied and disowned parts of our personality that
  we keep hidden because we have been told that it
  is not right to feel this or express that. So as
  we strive to become accepted and loved in our
  world, we fragment from our true nature.

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• Simple Off-Grid System Review For example, if a
  child is told it is inappropriate to express
  anger in any way, that child will grow up
  disowning that part of him and among other
  symptoms can suffer with depression later in life
  because he can't express the full range of
  emotions necessary to lead a happy and healthy
  life. This "wounding" during childhood starts us
  on a path to constructing defenses or survival
  strategies as we try and prevent this wounding
  from occurring again. We can and will hide our
  true essence for fear of it not being appropriate
  to others and of certain "death" of who we are,
  should we not conform. As we grow older and form
  relationships with partners, our truest mirror of
  where we are at on all levels, survival
  strategies can build into hugely complicated
  behaviours that manifest in all sorts of ways.
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  f-grid-system-review