State of the Child Conference

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State of the Child Conference Dare County,
NCMarch 31, 2006
Embracing Our Differences Committee
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Tolerance
Destruction of Stereotypes
Celebration of Diversity
Greater Sense of Inclusion and Community
Higher Social CapitalConnections among
individuals social networks and the norms of
reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from
them.
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Tolerance The First (but not the only) Step
Human diversity makes tolerance more than a
virtue it makes it a requirement for survival.
Rene Dubos
Laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression
in order that every man present his views
without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance
in the entire population. Albert
Einstein The highest result of education is
tolerance. Helen Keller Collective fear
stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce
ferocity toward those who are not regarded as
members of the herd. Bertrand Russell The
capacity for getting along with our neighbor
depends to a large extent on the capacity for
getting along with ourselves. The self-respecting
individual will try to be as tolerant of his
neighbor's shortcomings as he is of his own.
Eric Hoffer Ultimately, America's answer to the
intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity
which our heritage of religious freedom has
inspired. -- Robert F. Kennedy
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Tolerance is Inspiring!
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Without tolerance, we operate on stereotypes and
stereotypes are built upon assumptions and
generalizations
Those who constantly generalize learn less and
less about more and more until they know nothing
about everything. --American Proverb
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Stereotypes
1. Stereotyping often results from, and leads to,
prejudice and bigotry. 2. Unchecked prejudice
and bigotry leads to discrimination, violence,
and, in extreme cases, genocide. 3. Prejudice
can be spread by the use of propaganda and
inflamed by demagogues. 4. Language,
particularly slang, is often used to dehumanize
members of certain groups of people, and this
dehumanization is a precursor of discrimination,
isolation, and violence.
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A "stereotype" is a generalization about a person
or group of people. We develop stereotypes when
we are unable or unwilling to obtain all of the
information we would need to make fair judgments
about people or situations. In the absence of the
"total picture," stereotypes in many cases allow
us to "fill in the blanks." Our society often
innocently creates and perpetuates stereotypes,
but these stereotypes often lead to unfair
discrimination and persecution when the
stereotype is unfavorable.
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High School Stereotypes Cliques
Hermits Hip Hoppers Hippies In-Crowd Indies Jocks
Metalheads Nerds/Geeks Otaku Preps
Rainbow Club Ravers Rednecks Rejects Revolutionari
es Spooky Kids Skaters Stoners Stud Gov Theater
Kids
A.P.s Bandos Bohemians Cheerleaders Chess
Clubbers Crombies Debaters Druggies Duds Emos Game
rs Gangstas Goths
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What are the stereotypes in our own secondary
schools? Do our students at Dare County
Secondary Schools have healthy or unhealthy
rivalries?
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A Short Film

• You will see six people playing basketball
  three are wearing black shirts and three are
  wearing white shirts. Each player can do one of
  three things
• 1. Dribble
• 2. Pass the ball
• 3. Bounce-Pass the ball
• CAREFULLY COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES THAT
  PLAYERS IN WHITE SHIRTS BOUNCE-PASS THE BALL TO
  OTHER PLAYERS IN WHITE SHIRTS.

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Quite often in life, we see what we expect to see
or what we are told to look for. Thus, when we
hold a stereotype, we fail to see the common
humanity of others who are, in fact, more like us
than unlike us.
All human beings share 99.9 common DNA
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There are two very predictable outcomes that
result from stereotyping and a failure of
tolerance for diversity

• Bullying which often leads to youth violence,
  isolation, and depression.
• Drug abuse as an attempt to self-medicate
  emotional problems.

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School Violence May Result from Bullying
San Diego, CA (2002) Charles Andy Williams said
he liked some of the people he shot. At Santana
HS, the then-undersized boy says he was called
"bitch" and "faggot" and was made fun of because
he did not fight back when bullied.
Williams said he told a dozen fellow students
about his plan to bring a gun to school and
"then, like, everybody's egging me on, egging me
on." He said he figured someone would tell, but
they didn't and eventually he wondered what he
"had to lose." Charles Andrew Williams
fired his .22-caliber revolver at least 30 times,
wounding 13 and killing two at his Santee,
Calif., high school, he dropped his gun and
waited for the police, who approached the
15-year-old freshman with understandable caution.
"It's just me," he murmured to an officer.
Bullying in its various forms is prevalent in
schools around the globe. Children learn,
practice, and experience bullying beginning at a
very young age. Research indicates that this form
of aggression is a growing problem affecting
student learning, social interactions, and school
climate. It has been implicated as a contributor
to school violence.
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Feb 2, 1996 Moses Lake, WA March 10, 2000 Savannah, GA
Feb 19, 1997 Bethel, AK May 26, 2000 Lake Worth, FL
October 1, 1997 Pearl, MS September 26, 2000 New Orleans, LA
December 1, 1997 West Paducah, KY January 17, 2001 Baltimore, MD
December 15, 1997 Stamps, AR March 5, 2001 Santee, CA
March 24, 1998 Jonesboro, AR March 7, 2001 Williamsport, PA
April 24, 1998 Edinboro, PA March 22, 2001 Granite Hills, CA
May 19, 1998 Fayetteville, TN March 30, 2001 Gary, IN
May 21, 1998 Springfield, OR January 15, 2002 New York, NY
June 15, 1998 Richmond, VA April 14, 2003 New Orleans, LA
April 20, 1999 Littleton, CO April 24, 2003 Red Lion, PA
May 20, 1999 Conyers, GA September 24, 2003 Cold Spring, MN
November 19, 1999 Deming, NM March 21, 2005 Red Lake, MN
December 7, 1999 Fort Gibson, OK November 9, 2005 Jacksboro, TN
February 29, 2000 Mount Morris Township, MI February 23, 2006 Roseburg, OR
U.S. School Shootings Since 1996
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Substance Abuse is a Problem in Dare County
A countywide survey of 7th through 12th graders
(conducted in 2000) found that 29 had used
marijuana once or more in the previous 12 months.
That number put Dare County above the state
average of 21.7 and slightly below the national
average of 34. The Board of Education passed a
random drug testing policy for students in grades
7-12 who participate in extracurricular
activities or purchase parking permits. Adults
say that the drug testing is going well.
Students say that many have switched to drugs
other than pot (such as cocaine, mushrooms, and
prescription drugs) because these substances
clear out of the body faster and arent as easily
detected ina random drug test.
Source Lamb, Joey Above Average, Nighthawk
News, March 1, 2006.
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How many times, if any, have you had alcohol to
drink in your lifetime?
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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Reports attending one or more parties in the last
year where other kids your age were drinking
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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Percentage of Students Using Illicit Drugs Three
or More Times in Last Year
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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There are new data (2006) about drug use/abuse in
Dare County that are being released at this State
of the Child Conference.
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• Bullying depends upon exclusion and seeing
  others as being different in negative ways.
• Bullying is widespread.

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Bullying Statistics

• 66 of kids say they have witnessed bullying.
• 30 of kids say that they have been victims of
  a bully.
• 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully.
• 8 of students miss one day of class per month
  for fear of bullies.
• 43 fear harassment in the bathrooms at their
  school
• 282,000 students are physically attacked in
  secondary schools each month.
• Every 7 minutes a child is bullied on a
  playground Adult intervention 4, Peer
  Intervention 11, No Intervention 85.

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Imagine that someone at your school hit you or
pushed you for no reason. What would you do?
1 Id hit or push them right back. 2 Id try
to hurt them worse than they hurt me. 3 Id try
to talk to this person and work out our
differences. 4 Id talk to a teacher or other
adult. (Average 8) 5 Id just ignore it and
do nothing.
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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Sadly, bullying is widespread. According to a
2004 KidsHealth KidsPoll, 86 of more than 1,200
9 to 13 year-old boys and girls polled said
they've seen someone else being bullied, 48 said
they've been bullied, and 42 admitted to
bullying other kids at least once in a while.
Where do you draw the line between good-natured
ribbing and bullying?
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Although teasing may resemble bullying because it
can prompt feelings of anger or embarrassment,
teasing is less hostile and done with humor,
rather than harm. It is a natural part of growing
up and beginning to affiliate with ones peers.
It does not shun, exclude, or isolate. Teasing
often promotes an exchange between people rather
than a one-sided dose of intimidation.
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Sticks and Stones Can Hurt for a Lifetime
According to a report titled "Hostile Hallways"
issued by the American Association of University
Women, 76 of students have experienced
non-physical harassment and 58 have experienced
the physical variety. This treatment can even
push students to suicide in extreme cases. On the
reverse side, in a study in Scandinavia, 60 of
those classified as bullies went on to collect at
least one criminal conviction.
Bullying, once thought of as a problem specific
to boys, is also widespread among girls. In fact,
a recent study showed that 44 of those students
who reported threats and violence were girls.
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Girls are more likely to experience verbal abuse
such as being teased about their appearance (64
percent of the girls versus 58 percent of boys)
and have false rumors spread about them (72
percent of girls versus 60 percent of boys).
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Boys were more often targets of physical
aggression such as being beaten up (11 percent of
boys versus 6 percent of girls) and having
property destroyed (46 percent of boys versus 31
percent of girls).
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Types of Bullying
Emotional bullying can be more subtle and can
involve isolating or excluding a child from
activities (i.e., shunning the victim in the
lunchroom or on school outings) or spreading
rumors. This kind of bullying is especially
common among girls. Physical bullying can
accompany verbal bullying and involves things
like kicking, hitting, biting, pinching, hair
pulling, or threats of physical harm.
Racist/Cultural bullying preys on children
through racial slurs, offensive gestures, or
making jokes about a child's race or cultural
traditions. Sexual bullying involves unwanted
physical contact or sexually abusive or
inappropriate comments. Verbal bullying usually
involves name-calling, incessant mocking, and
laughing at a child's expense.
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Cyber Bullying
A relatively new phenomenon - began surfacing as
modern communication technologies advanced.
Through email, instant messaging, Internet chat
rooms, and electronic gadgets like camera cell
phones, cyber bullies forward and spread hurtful
images and/or messages. Bullies use this
technology to harass victims at all hours, in
wide circles, at warp speed. For example,
Myspace.com initially was the home to
20-somethings interested in indie music in Los
Angeles. Today, you will be hard pressed to find
an American teenager who does not know about the
site, regardless of whether or not they
participate. Over 50 million accounts have been
created and the majority of participants are what
would be labeled youth - ages 14-24. MySpace has
more page views per day than any site on the web
except Yahoo! (yes, more than Google or MSN).
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Victims of Bullies
Victims of bullying typically are children who
suffer from fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem as
a result of being bullyied. They may try to avoid
school, and social interactions, in an effort to
escape the bullying. Some victims of bullying are
so distressed that they commit, or attempt to
commit suicide. Even when bullying does not drive
victims to the extremes of suicide, victims
experience significant psychological harm which
interferes with their social and academic and
emotional development. The sooner the bullying
is stopped, the better for the long-term outcome
for victims. If bullying patterns are allowed
to continue unchecked, there are long-term
consequences for the victim. As adults, victims
of bullies are more likely to be depressed, and
have lower self-esteem than their non-bullied
cohorts.
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Percent of Youth Reporting Risk-Taking
BehaviorsHas attempted suicide one or more times
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
Note National Statistic Every 78 seconds a teen
attempts suicide - every 90 seconds they succeed.
(National Center for Health Statistics)
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Bullies
Bullying is often a warning sign that children
and teens are heading for trouble and are at risk
for serious violence. Teens (particularly boys)
who bully are more likely to engage in other
antisocial/delinquent behavior (e.g., vandalism,
shoplifting, truancy, and drug use) into
adulthood. They are four times more likely than
nonbullies to be convicted of crimes by age 24,
with 60 of bullies having at least one criminal
conviction.
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Threatened Physical Harm to Someone Once or More
in the Last 12 Months
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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Hit someone once or more in the last 12 months
Physically hurt someone once or more in the last
12 months
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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Witnesses to Bullying Behavior
In one study of junior high and highschool
students, over 88 said they had witnessed
bullying in their schools. Teens who witness
bullying can feel guiltyor helpless for not
standing up to a bully on behalf of a classmate
or friend, or for not reporting the incident to
someone who could help. They may experience even
greater guilt if they are drawn into bullying by
pressure from their peers. Some teens deal with
these feelings of guilt by blaming the victim and
deciding that he or she deserved the abuse. Teens
sometimes also feel compelled to end a friendship
or avoid being seen with the bullied teen to
avoid losing status or being targeted themselves.
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MIAMI HERALD
Secretive new video game might inspire school
bullies By MATTHEW I. PINZUR, Mar. 13,
2006A secretive new video game about school
bullies could be targeted by Miami-Dade School
Board members, who fear the repercussions of a
game that is set in a school and includes fights,
slingshots and possibly much more.Little is
actually known about the game, Bully, which was
scheduled for release last fall but has been
repeatedly delayed. Opponents of violent video
games have been driven largely by its pedigree --
the game is being developed by Rockstar, the
controversial designer of the ultra-violent Grand
Theft Auto series.In those games, which have
been top sellers for years, players steal cars,
hire prostitutes and brutally beat and murder
enemies, police and bystanders. Opponents fear
that Bully will bring the same graphic violence
into the virtual schoolhouse. ''This game is
built entirely around bullies and is staged in a
school -- it's the antithesis of everything we're
trying to promote,'' said School Board member
Frank Bolaños, who introduced a resolution urging
Rockstar not to release Bully, asking local
merchants not to sell it and asking parents not
to buy it.
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Center for the Prevention of School Violence1801
Mail Service CenterRaleigh, NC
27699-1801800-299-6054919-733-3388 ext 332
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Bullying and Exclusion Prevents Some Children
From Satisfying a Fundamental Human Need The
Need To Belong
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Maslows Hierarchy of NeedsBelonging is a
Fundamental Human Need
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Become a Lake
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An Antidote to Bullying and a Guide to the Future
of a Vibrant, Safe, and Compassionate Community
A Celebration of Diversity and Differences
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Celebrating Our Differences
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Diversity is a term used broadly to refer to many
demographic variables, including but not limited
to race, ethnicity, religion, culture, language,
gender, color, national origin, disability,
sexual orientation, age, education,
socio-economic status, cognitive abilities,
geographic origin, physical stature, weight, and
skill characteristics.
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The increases in minority populations between the
1990 and 2000 census data in NC is astounding.
The minority population in NC grew by 823,488
people between 1990 and 2000. If the trend
continues, NC and Dare County will both continue
to become rich in racial diversity.
NORTH CAROLINA 1990 2000 Growth
Total Population 6,628,637 8,049,313 1,420,767
Caucasian 5,008,491 5,804,656 796,165
African-American 1,456,323 1,737,545 281,222
Native American 80,155 99,551 19,396
Asian/Nat.Hawaiian 52,166 117,672 65,506
Hispanic 76,726 378,063 302,237
Other 31,502 186,629 155,127
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The minority population in Dare County grew by
760 people between 1990 and 2000, with the
Hispanic population more than tripling over that
time span.
DARE COUNTY 1990 2000 Growth
Total Population 22,746 29,967 7,221
Caucasian 21,766 28,393 6,627
African-American 811 797 -14
Native American 37 83 46
Asian/Nat.Hawaiian 79 124 45
Hispanic 199 666 467
Other 53 269 216
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Appreciating and Celebrating Diversity Prepares
us for the Future of America
The U.S. Census Bureau predicts that by the
middle of the next century, race in America will
be turned upside down. In 2050 Caucasian will be
a minority, and present-day minorities will be in
the majority. One group of Americans already
exemplifies that future. The Millennium
Generation, today's 15-to-25-year-olds, is the
most racially mixed generation this country has
ever seen. Its members are 60 more likely to be
non-Caucasian than those of their parents' and
grandparents' generations, and an increasing
number are racially mixed. A third are
African-American, Latino, Asian, or Native
American. And the two-thirds who are Caucasian
have grown up with more exposure to people of
other races, through school, sports, dating and
the media.
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If we could shrink the earth's population
(approximately 6.5 billion) to a village of
precisely 100 people, with all the existing human
ratios remaining the same, it would look
something like the following. There would be
57 Asians 21 Europeans 14 from the Western
Hemisphere, both north and south 8 Africans 52
would be female and 48 would be male 70 would
be non-Caucasian and 30 would be Caucasian 70
would be non-Christian and 30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual and 11 would be
homosexual 6 people would possess 59 of the
entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the
U.S.80 would live in substandard housing and 70
would be unable to read 50 would suffer from
malnutrition, 1 would be near death, and 1 would
be near birth 1 (yes, only 1) would have a
college education and 1 would own a computer
When one considers our world from such a
compressed perspective, the need for acceptance,
understanding, and education becomes glaringly
apparent.
Our Global Village
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Respecting the Values and Beliefs of People Who
Are of a Different Race or Culture Than I Am
1 Not at all like me. 2 A little like me. 3
Somewhat like me. 4 Quite like me. 5 Very
much like me.
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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Knowing A Lot About People Who Are of a Different
Race Than I Am
1 Not at all like me. 2 A little like me. 3
Somewhat like me. 4 Quite like me. 5 Very
much like me.
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
50
Enjoying Being With People Who Are of a Different
Race Than I Am
1 Not at all like me. 2 A little like me. 3
Somewhat like me. 4 Quite like me. 5 Very
much like me.
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
51
Helping to Make Sure That All People Are Treated
Fairly
1 Not important 2 Somewhat important 3 Not
sure 4 Quite important 5 Extremely important
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
52
Speaking Up For Equality (Everyone Should Have
The Same Rights and Opportunities)
1 Not important 2 Somewhat important 3 Not
sure 4 Quite important 5 Extremely important
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
53
Percent of Youth Reporting Each of 8 Thriving
Indicators Values Diversity Places high
importance on getting to know people of other
racial/ethnic groups
The Average across all secondary schools in Dare
County is 58
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Percent of Youth Reporting External
AssetsCaring School Climate
Source Search Institute Student Profiles of Life
Survey, 2006
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A Celebration of Diversity

• Promotes tolerance
• Reduces bullying behavior
• Contributes to the robust exchange of ideas
  essential to a quality system of education
• Breaks down barriers among individuals of
  different races, religions, ethnicities,
  abilities, socio-economic status, sexual
  orientation, etc.
• Improves academic performance
• Improves social capital and connections in the
  community

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Higher Social Capital
Child development is powerfully shaped by social
capital. Trust, networks, and norms of
reciprocity within a childs family, school, peer
group, and larger community have far reaching
effects on their opportunities and choices, and
hence on their behavior and development.
Source Robert Putnam, Ph.D. Saguaro Seminar,
Harvard University. Bowling Alone.
www.bettertogether.org
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Higher Social Capital
Public spaces in high social-capital areas are
cleaner, people are friendlier, and the streets
are safer. Traditional neighborhood risk
factors such as high poverty and residential
mobility are not as significant as most people
assume. Places have higher crime rates in large
part because people dont participate in
community organizations, dont supervise younger
people, and arent linked through networks of
friends.
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Higher Social Capital
Economic prosperity. A growing body of research
suggests that where trust and social networks
flourish, individuals, firms, neighborhoods, and
even nations prosper economically. Social capital
can help to mitigate the insidious effects of
socioeconomic disadvantage.
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Higher Social Capital
Health. There appears to be a strong relationship
between the possession of social capital and
better health. As a rough rule of thumb, if you
belong to no groups but decide to join one, you
cut your risk of dying over the next year in
half. If you smoke and belong to no groups, its
a toss-up statistically whether you should stop
smoking or start joining.
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Higher Social Capital

• Happiness Regular club attendance, volunteering,
  entertaining, or church attendance is the
  happiness equivalent of getting a college degree
  or more than doubling your income. Civic
  connections rival marriage and affluence as
  predictors of life happiness.

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The Collective Benefits of High Social Capital

• Joining one group cuts your odds of dying over
  the next year in half. Joining two groups cuts
  it in quarter.
• Communities with higher levels of social capital
  produce children with higher SAT scores and
  higher performance on a broad range of testing.
• Communities with higher social capital have
  lower dropout rates, higher retention, and less
  youth violence.
• The more connected we are in our community, the
  less colds, heart attacks, strokes, cancer,
  depression, and premature death we experience.
• The higher the social capital, the less murders
  and violent crimes in our neighborhood.
• Blood donations are higher in communities with
  high social capital.
• Road rage is reduced in communities with high
  social capital.
• Measured happiness goes up when we are socially
  connected in mutually respectful, trusting
  relationships based on exchange and reciprocity.

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Every wisdom and spiritual tradition teaches the
importance of The Golden Rule Of accepting,
nurturing, and caring for each other
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Nature loves biodiversity bio meaning life and
diversity meaning different. Scientists believe
that we're just beginning to uncover the number
of plants, animals and insects that exist in our
fascinating and diverse world. Did you know that
a rainforest (which accounts for less then 7 of
the Earth) contains MILLIONS of species of plant
and animal life? Did you know that a person
could walk for a mile through the rain forest and
never find two trees of the same kind?
64
Namaste and AlohaRecognizing our deep and
transcendent relationship to all beings
65
Consider this Image
Anti-gay group protests at the Aug. 28 funeral
for Army Staff Sgt. Jeremy Doyle, who died in
Iraq. Members of the Topeka, Kansas-based
Westboro Baptist Church dragged U.S. flags on the
ground and shouted insults at Doyle's wife and
other survivors outside a mortuary in
Martinsville, Ind. Church Rev. Fred Phelps said
American soldiers are being killed in Iraq as
vengeance from God for protecting a country that
harbors gays and accepts homosexuality.
66
Consider this Image
Autistic hoopster shoots
lights out!Feb. 24, 2006 Jason McElwain
(J-Mac), a 17-year-old senior at Greece-Athena
High School near Rochester, N.Y., is autistic
and, as the team manager, usually sits on his
basketball teams bench. But he scored 20 points
in four minutes in his team's home finale. His
schoolmates carried him out of the gym on their
shoulders.
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What a great story about inclusion, friendship
and community!
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What images will define us in Dare County?
Our community and our schools must be places
where ALL people are treated with dignity and
respect, are physically and emotionally safe, and
feel empowered to reach their full potential.
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Lessons From Toulouse

• Be patient, persistent, never give up
• Welcome the stranger

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Among all the strange things that men have
forgotten, the most universal and catastrophic
lapse of memory is that by which they have
forgotten that they are living on a star.
G.K.
Chesterton
We must become the change we want to see in the
world.
Gandhi
71
What can each of us do individually and
collectively to insure that every child in Dare
County is treated with dignity and respect, is
safe from physical and emotional harm, and is
given opportunities to live up to his or her
potential? What kind of school culture can we
help create? What are our next steps?
The life I touch for good or ill will touch
another life, and that in turn another, until who
knows where the trembling stops or in what far
place my touch will be felt.
Frederick Buechner
72
Thank You. Mitakuye Oyasin. From Lakota We are
all related.
If you are interested in obtaining this Power
Point presentation, please go to Kathleen
Brehonys website www.fullpotentialliving.com
and click on the tab for Power Point
73
Bill Gates - lower left Paul Allen, the owner of
the Seattle Seahawks, (net worth 20 billion) -
lower right