Ch.6 Transition from Adol Adult

1
Ch.6 Transition from Adol - Adult

• BIG piece of this is INDIVIDUATION
• RECALL from Ch. 4 our discussion!
• Ind. is a developmental process through which
  a person comes to see self as separate and
  distinct within relational ties. (92)

2
More about Ind

• Ind. Leads to lack of fusion
• (remember?) Fusion is a lack of ego boundaries
  between self and others, inability to have a
  clear sense of I. a high dependence on others.

3
Big I

• Across the lifespan allows changes in ones
  ability to express oneself
• I may be needed between man wife, friend,
  employers employees,
• teachers students.

4
Maturity is

• Successfully balancing
• Autonomy ----/\---- Interdependence

5
When is I working?

• one is neither emotionally dependent nor
  emotionally (over)reactive to family.
• The well-individuated adult, under conditions of
  conflict chooses to respond to feelings of
  guilt, loyalty, obligation or anger by behaving
  in ways that promote intimacy while allowing
  personal autonomy. (98)

6
Less individuated behavior

• Reacting by attacking others in family,
• Rebelling or defiance against family wishes,
• OR, conforming to family wishes at the price of
  personal autonomy
• (can lead to pseudo-individuation)
• And difficulty commiting to others

7
Goals of I

• 1. a coherent personal identity
• 2. capacity for intimate, meaningful
  relationships

8
Adol. Identity development

• Identity is the basis for personal, occupational,
  and lifestyle identity (E. Erickson)
• COGNITIVE maturity one key,
• PEER GROUP Involvement a key,
• Peers help in the search for
• personal values, self knowledge,
• and career choices

9
Discovering a capacity for intimacy

• Real intimacy is possible only if one has a firm
  sense of identity(Erickson)
• One does not develop a sense of
• identity from having sex, i.e.
• Having sex makes one a man.!not

10
Intimacy is

• Related to ability to share thoughts, feelings
  and goals (psychic intimacy)
• Difference between sexual intimacy and psychic
  intimacy -
• persons who share themselves find things they
  enjoy about each other share psychic intimacy.
  This lasts!

11
Another thought on Intimacy

• Erickson suggests that intimacy is being able to
  commit to relationship and have the ethical
  stamina to stay with the commitment even with
  sacrifice and compromise.

12
Does intimacy relate to Family?

• YES! For most of us, the family has modeled what
  intimacy is like.
• Young adults may test out their efforts at
  intimacy outside the family
• With friends, dating, etc.,
• BUTfamily perceptions of intimacy are still in
  our minds!!!

13
Learning Intimacy

• Most young adults STRUGGLE to express and
  experience intimacy in successful ways.
• - ambivalence about making commitments,
• -ambivalence about opening upto another person,
  much less let our dark side be seen
• -fear of abandonment or rejection

14
Intimacy goal of individuation

• Is to help us
• develop effective strategies for managing the
  separateness and togetherness that
• individuated intimacy
• can be.

15
Being alone

• Can you accept being alone,
• for an hour, a day, unexpectedly?
• Stories of separation (Viorst)