Ch. 7-1

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Chapter 7

• Persuasive Messages

2
Writing Plan for a Persuasive Request

• Opening
• Obtain the readers attention and interest.
• Body
• Explain logically and concisely the purpose of
  your request.
• Reduce resistance with counterarguments
  establish credibility.

3
Writing Plan for a Persuasive Request

• Closing
• Ask for a particular action.
• Make it easy to respond.
• Show courtesy and respect.

4
Persuasive Request Four-Paragraph Letter

• Paragraph 1. Obtain the readers attention.
• Paragraph 2. Give background situation at your
  place of work.
• Paragraph 3. Give information on how other
  companies handle the situation.
• Paragraph 4. Close with an action end-date.

5
Tips for Complaints

• Begin with a compliment, point of agreement,
  statement of the problem, or brief review of
  action you have taken to resolve the problem.
• Provide identifying data.
• Explain why the receiver is responsible.

6
Tips for Complaints

• Enclose document copies supporting your claim.
• Appeal to the receiver's fairness, ethical and
  legal responsibilities, and desire for customer
  satisfaction.
• Describe your feelings and your disappointment.

7
Tips for Complaints

• Avoid sounding angry, emotional, or irrational.
• Close by telling exactly what you want done.

8
Ineffective Persuasive Request Letter
Mr. John M. Watson Retail Credit
Department Union National Bank P. O. Box
2051 Little Rock, AR 72203 Dear Mr.
Watson You have charged my wife's Visa account
with erroneous "over-the-limit" charges that are
quite unfair, and I am very upset about it.
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Ineffective Persuasive Request Letter
How can we be charged with "over-the-limit"
charges when nearly every one of the charges was
approved? We don't keep a running record of our
Visa account and all our credit purchases on it,
so we did not know that we were close to the
limit. Between August 7 and September 27 we
made 12 purchases. We were charged a 10 fee for
each of these 12 transactions because we exceeded
our credit limit. However, 10 of these
transactions were phoned in for approval, and ALL
WERE APPROVED! Why were they approved if we were
over our credit limit? Obviously, we would not
have continued to make purchases if we had known
we were over our limit.
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Ineffective Persuasive Request Letter
It seems to me that your approval system is at
fault here. And why aren't new cardholders
informed of your rules? The charges we made
exceeding the limit were clearly unintentional.
Furthermore, our actions were made on the basis
of misinformation and errors on the part of your
credit processors. Angrily yours,
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Ineffective Persuasive Request Letter

• Discussion
• 1. Does the opening obtain the reader's attention
  in a positive manner?
• 2. Why does the writer think that the 120
  penalty is unreasonable? Does the writer offer
  convincing reasons? Are they logically presented?
• 3. Does the writer try to blame the bank for the
  penalty?

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Ineffective Persuasive Request Letter

• Discussion
• 4. What action does the writer seek?
• 5. Is that action clearly stated?
• 6. Does the letter show courtesy and respect?
• 7. How would you feel if you were the receiver?

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Improved Persuasive Request Letter
Dear Mr. Watson SUBJECT Over-the-Limit
Credit Card Charges Because of the wide
acceptance of the Visa credit card and because of
your bank's attractive interest rate, my wife and
I were eager to become cardholders two years ago.
Recently, however, we experienced a charge to our
account that we would like to discuss with
you. Between the period of August 7 and
September 27, we made 12
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Improved Persuasive Request Letter
small purchases. Ten of these purchases were
given telephone approval. When we received our
last statement, a copy of which is enclosed, we
were surprised to see that we were charged 10
each for these purchases because our account was
over our limit. The total charge was 120. Of
course, we should have been more aware of our
limit and the number of charges that we were
making against our account. We assumed, however,
that if our purchases received telephone approval
from your credit processors, we were still within
our credit limit.
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Improved Persuasive Request Letter
Please examine our account, Mr. Watson, and
reconsider this penalty. Since we have never
exceeded our credit limit in the past and since
we had received telephone approval for most of
the charges in question, we feel that the 120
charge should be removed. Sincerely,
16
Good and Bad Openings for Persuasive Requests
Which of the following openings are effective?

• 1. About 15 months ago your smooth-talking
  salesperson seduced us into buying your Model RX
  copier, which has been nothing but trouble ever
  since.
• 2. If you will check your records, you will
  undoubtedly discover that we first obtained our
  model RX copier 15 months ago. It was installed
  in our Legal Department.

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Good and Bad Openings for Persuasive Requests
Which of the following openings are effective?

• 3. When we purchased our Model RX copier 15
  months ago, we had high expectations for its
  performance.
• 4. We need a speaker for our graduation ceremony,
  and your name was suggested.
• 5. Would you be able to speak at our graduation
  ceremony on June 7?

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Good and Bad Openings for Persuasive Requests
Which of the following openings are effective?

• 6. We realize that you are an extremely busy
  individual and that you must be booked up months
  in advance, but would it be possible for you to
  speak at our graduation ceremony on June 7?
• 7. You were voted by our students as the speaker
  they would most like to hear at graduation on
  June 7.

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Ineffective Favor Request
Honorable David H. Davis California House of
Representatives Sacramento, CA 95030 Dear Mr.
Davis Would you be interested in speaking to
the students at Foothill College? If you would
be in town on April 16, our Associated Student
Organization is having a Career Awareness Day.
Many of our
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Ineffective Favor Request
15,000 students (and most are registered voters
in your district) will be attending this function
where three major speakers have been invited.
We hope to find good speakers from industry,
education, and politics. Our ASO voted you the
politician they would most like to hear. We could
offer you 30 minutes to impart information about
politics as a career, its rewards, and its
punishments. Our Career Awareness Day will
contain information booths students can talk
about careers and learn about them at these
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Ineffective Favor Request
booths. Then the three speakers will follow
these booths at 12 noon in the Campus
Center. Let me know by March 15 if you'd like
to be one of our speakers. We'd enjoy having you
and it could be good for you, too. If you let me
know early enough, we can get some publicity
out. Sincerely,
22
Ineffective Favor Request
Discuss the faults in the previous letter.

• 1. Starts out directly with a question that could
  be answered negatively
• 2. Provides an easy excuse for refusal (in second
  sentence)
• 3. Fails to emphasize reader benefits
  (opportunity to influence 15,000 potential voters)

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Ineffective Favor Request
Discuss the faults in the previous letter.

• 4. Lacks unity in sentences and paragraphs
• 5. Focuses on writer's viewpoint rather than on
  reader's
• 6. Uses imprecise words and inappropriate syntax
• 7. Closes without making it easy for reader to
  grant favor

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Improved Favor Request
Honorable David H. Davis California House of
Representatives Sacramento, CA 95030 Dear Mr.
Davis Over 15,000 students attend Foothill
College, and many are registered voters in your
district. On Thursday, April 16, you will be
able to introduce yourself to these potential
voters at the Associated Student
Organization's Career Awareness Day. On this day
we plan to have three major
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Improved Favor Request
speakers representing industry, education, and
politics. Our Career Awareness Day features
information booths where students may learn more
about specific careers. The program culminates
with the major addresses given in the Campus
Center at 12 noon. As one of the three featured
speakers, you would have 30 minutes to describe a
career in politics and its rewards and possible
drawbacks. You were selected by our ASO as the
politician they would most like to hear. To give
Foothill students an opportunity to meet you and
to learn about a career in politics, please call
me at 320-5832 to confirm
26
Improved Favor Request
this speaking engagement. We will need your
approval by March 15 so that appropriate
publicity may be prepared. Cordially,
27
Writing Plan for a Sales Letter

• Opening
• Capture the attention of the reader.
• Body Paragraph 2
• Emphasize a central selling point and the
  benefits of the product or idea.
• Appeal to the needs of the reader.
• Create a desire for the product.
• Body Paragraph 3
• Give proof. State the number of individuals who
  have used the project. Suggest research shows
  that the product is helpful. ETC.

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Writing Plan for a Sales Letter

• Closing
• Stimulate the reader to act.
• Indicate a special offer and date for the action.

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Sales Four-Paragraph Letter--SUMMARY

• Paragraph 1. Get attention so reader will
  continue reading the letter.
• Paragraph 2. Give benefits of the product.
• Paragraph 3. Give proof. For example, indicate
  how many sales have been made or what research
  shows about the product.
• Paragraph 4. Close and get action. Use an end
  date. Offer an incentive to purchase early.

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Attention-Getters for Sales Letters

• 1. Offer
• Follow my entry instructions, and you could be
  the sole winner of ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
• 2. Product Feature
• Six Omaha steak filets from fine, corn-fed beef
  can be yours for only 62.95.

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Attention-Getters for Sales Letters

• 3. Question
• Do you yearn for an honest, fulfilling
  relationship?
• 4. Startling Statement
• Drunk drivers injure or cripple more than
  500,000 victims every year!

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Attention-Getters for Sales Letters

• 5. Story
• Tommy G. doesn't live in a neighborhood like
  yours. He has grown up in a neighborhood with
  dirty alleyways and drug dealers. If only he
  could go to camp, he'd see how beautiful life can
  be.

33
Ineffective Sales Letter
Dear Camera Owner Hi! I'm Jim Johnson and I'm
asking you to continue to use Kent Color Labs for
the processing of your film. We've been in
business for a long time and our customers tell
us they are quite satisfied with our service and
the quality of our processing. We feel that you
can't get better prices anywhere. We are also
very proud of our guarantee. No matter what we
receive from you, you
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Ineffective Sales Letter
don't risk a cent. We offer a whole range of
other services--reprints, posters, slides, disks,
and much more. Furthermore, we are very careful
with your film we treat it as we treat our
own. Are you tired of asking yourself, "Where
should I get my film developed?" Well, Kent Color
labs is the place to go. We rely on the U.S. mail
for our business, and this letter is our way of
asking for your business. Send us your next roll
of film to be developed as soon as you finish
it. Sincerely,
35
Discussion for Ineffective Sales Letter to Camera
Owner

• 1. Does the opening grab your attention?
• 2. Is a central selling point developed?
• 3. Is the letter written from the reader's
  perspective?
• 4. Should this letter develop rational or
  emotional appeals?

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Discussion for Ineffective Sales Letter to Camera
Owner

• 5. Does the letter use concrete examples?
• 6. Does it build confidence in the product or
  service?
• 7. Does it stimulate action in the closing?
• 8. Does this letter show PROOF?

37
Improved Sales Letter

• Dear Camera Owner
• Amy Evans, of Houston, Texas, recently wrote to
  us saying, "I just wanted to let you know that
  the pictures you developed for me earlier were
  the best pictures I have ever received. And I
  can't believe I received them so quickly!"
• If you are looking for quality film developing,
  speedy turnaround, and, most importantly,
  reliabilityconsider Kent Color Labs. Here's why
  our customers keep returning
• You get low film processing prices and excellent
  quality.

38
Improved Sales Letter

• You get a whole range of servicesreprints,
  enlargements, giant photo posters, wallet photos,
  slides, movies, discs, and more.
• You get film mailing envelopes manufactured from
  special long-fibered paper making them stronger
  than normal envelopes.
• You get convenienceno more standing in line at
  the drugstore or camera store. And it's fun to
  receive mail!
• We're best known, however, for our reliability.
  We've been in
• business for more than 47 years. The minute we
  receive your
• order, it's processed! You can count on that
  every time.

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Improved Sales Letter
Because we're so certain that you will be
pleased, we guarantee every roll of film. If
you're not satisfied, simply return the whole
package. We will cheerfully refund your money and
send you free film and a coupon to get that film
processed without charge. This is the best
guarantee in the business. We want your
business. Right now, finish that film in your
camera. Grab a pen, fill out the enclosed mailer,
and drop it in the mail. Sincerely,
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Improved Sales Letter
P.S. If you respond within one week, we'll
process your order at an additional savings of 20
percent.
41
Sales Letter

• Dear Mrs. Garcia
• Enclosed please find the materials you requested
  for information on our electric scooters. For
  additional information, please visit our Web site
  at http//www.scooter.com.
• Our electric scooters feature the following
  accessories red horns, adjustable seats, and 1.2
  liter engines. In addition, the scooter come with
  a 5-year warranty to cover all engine parts!
• Scooter has been a global supplier of electric
  scooters since 1965 has offices in New York,
  Chicago, Shanghai, and London. We have served
  over 1000 customers.
• If you have any questions, please e-mail us at
  scooter.com or fax us at 888.555.8888. If you
  respond by July 1, 200-, you will receive a free
  horn.
• Sincerely
• (Remember to include the inside and return
  address along with the current date. Remember one
  idea per paragraph for ALL letters. Use full
  block do not indent paragraphs.)

42
Unsolicited Sales Letter

• Dear Mr. Tom
• General Electric is a primary user of our plastic
  products, and we invite you to become one of our
  customers!
• Our products include plastic materials, plastic
  assemblies and holding systems, and plastic
  connectors. For additional information, please
  visit our Web site at http//www.preisnerplastics.
  com.
• PreisnerPlastics has been a global supplier of
  plastic products since 1965 has offices in New
  York, Chicago, Shanghai, and London. We have
  served over 1000 customers.
• If you have any questions or wish us to send you
  The Profile of PreisnerPlastics brochure,
  please e-mail us at preisner.com or fax us at
  888.555.1111.
• Sincerely
• Remember to include the inside and return address
  along with the current date. Remember one idea
  per paragraph for ALL letters. Use full block do
  not indent paragraphs.)

43
Online Sales Letters

• Dear Mr. Padilla
• Last week we received your name from an Internet
  list stating that you are interested in magnets
  and magnetic assemblies. LAMags is the company to
  fill your needs.
• As an experienced manufacturer and supplier of
  magnets, magnetic assemblies, and magnet health
  products, we invite you visit our Web site at
  http//www.LAMags.com for information on our
  lines of magnets.
• LAMags is a global supplier for magnetic products
  with offices in Los Angles, Bejing, and London.
  We have been in business since 1983 and have over
  5000 satisfied customers.
• If you wish, please let us know if you would like
  us to send you The Profile of LAMags brochure.
  We look forward to doing business with you in the
  future.
• Sincerely
• P.S. We hope you enjoyed receiving this message.
  However, if you would rather not receive any
  future notices of this sort on e-mail, please let
  us know.

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Tips for Writing Online Sales Messages

• Send only targeted, never blanket mailings.
• Strive to create relationship with receivers
  offer something special just for them.
• Keep the message short and conversational.
• Focus on the you view.
• Develop only one or two central selling points.
• Make it easy to respond.
• Convey a tone of sincerity.
• Provide a means for being removed from mailing
  list.

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Checklist for Analyzing aSales Letter

• 1. At what audience is the letter aimed?
• 2. Is the appeal emotional or rational? Is the
  appeal effective?
• 3. Is the opening effective?
• 4. What techniques capture the reader's
  attention?

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Checklist for Analyzing aSales Letter

• 5. Is a central selling point emphasized?
• 6. Does the letter emphasize reader benefits?
• 7. What are some examples of concrete language?

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Checklist for Analyzing aSales Letter

• 8. How is confidence in the product or service
  developed?
• 9. How is price introduced?
• 10. What action is to be taken and how is the
  reader motivated to take that action?

48
Persuasive Request Letter

• Companies are constantly developing new programs
  to give themselves a competitive advantage.
  Programs such as internships are being
  implemented by more and more companies each year.
  Internships can provide substantial benefits not
  only to the intern, but to the company as well.
  Therefore, I am electing that we implement an
  internship program at Robinsons May.
•  
• Internships offer many professional advantages,
  these advantages consist of free labor, free
  employee benefits, help with seasonal workload
  demands, and future employee recruitment.
  Through internships, the company can gain a
  reputation among college students and acquire
  good public relations. If interns are recruited
  to the company after graduation, the company can
  spend less money on the recruitment and training
  process. The advantages that interns receive are
  beneficial to them as well. Interns have the
  ability to work in a professional atmosphere,
  gain work experience in their professional field,
  receive college credit, become prospective
  employees, and resume notation.
•  
• Research shows that interns make dedicated
  employees that are willing to perform because
  they want the potential employment opportunity.
  As researched in The Galt Global Review, interns
  also give valuable input because they have fresh
  ideas that they are willing to share.
  Individuals that are willing to be interns are
  more likely to research the company extensively,
  thus being candidates that are truly interested
  in the position. Research conducted by the
  National Association of Colleges and Employers
  shows that 82.5 of companies offer internship
  programs, giving them the competitive advantage.
•  
• Due to the benefits and research findings, it is
  extremely important to discuss the matter of
  implementing an internship program at Robinsons
  May. If you have any questions or would like to
  schedule a meeting in order to discuss the
  feasibility of this program, please feel free to
  contact me at extension 2521.
•  

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Collection Stages

• A collection message is used for business firms
  to collect overdue account. The two purposes of
  collection messages are 1) to collect the money
  due and 2) to retain goodwill with the customer.
• Collection messages are written in three stages
  1) reminder 2) appeal and 3) warning. Each
  stages is progressively more persuasive, and each
  stage has several steps.

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Collection Letter/Persuasive RequestStep 2
Appeal

• Dear Mr. Smith
• Our Account Department records indicate that your
  account with us is now more than three months
  past due. We are very concerned that we have not
  yet heard from you, even though we have already
  sent you a reminder about this matter.
• You has been one of our best clients, and we
  value your business very much. If some special
  circumstances are preventing you from making
  payment, please call us at 888.555.0908 e-mail us
  abcorg_at_msnet so that we can discuss the situation
  with you.
• We are requesting that you send your payment of
  407 in the enclosed envelope to us immediately.
  In this way you can preserve your excellent
  credit record with us.
• Sincerely

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End