Mentor Texts from Treasures, 4th grade

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Mentor Texts from Treasures, 4th grade

• Creating a Setting
• Using Descriptive Details

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Describing a crowded store

• The store was crowded with old people holding
  tightly to their shopping carts, little kids
  hollering to their parents for candy, and lots of
  people staring at shopping lists and blocking the
  aisles.
• I ducked around all the carts and went to the
  back where the vegetables are.
• (Treasures, p. 88)

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Supporting details
Store was crowded
old people holding tightly to their shopping
carts
lots of people staring at shopping lists and
blocking the aisles
little kids hollering to their parents for candy
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Describing a room

• I pushed the doorway curtain aside and walked
  into what would have been a living room in anyone
  elses house. Books were scattered everywhere
  on the tables, on the chairs, even on the floor.
  Three of the walls were cluttered with sketches
  and stuffed fish and charts of the river.
  Several fishing poles hung from the fourth with a
  tackle box, a snorkel, and a mask on the floor
  beneath them.
  (Treasures, p. 116)

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Supporting details
what would have been a living room in anyone
elses house.
Books were scattered everywhere on the tables,
on the chairs, even on the floor.
Several fishing poles hung from the fourth with a
tackle box, a snorkel, and a mask on the floor
beneath them.
Three of the walls were cluttered with sketches
and stuffed fish and charts of the river.
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A long, hard trip

• Our trip was long and hard. At night the
  desert was so cold we had to huddle together to
  keep warm. We drove right along the border,
  across from New Mexico and Arizona. Mexico and
  the U.S. are two different countries, but they
  look exactly the same on both sides of the
  border, with giant saguaros (cacti) pointing up
  at the pink-orange sky and enormous clouds.
  (Treasures, p.190)

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Supporting details
Our trip was long and hard.
At night the desert was so cold we had to huddle
together to keep warm.
We drove right along the border across from New
Mexico and Arizona.
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A good train-watching day

• The day before I left home was a regular North
  Carolina summer day. A good train-watching
  day, my friend B.J. said.
• We waited quietly in the grass beside the
  tracks. B.J. heard it first. Its acoming,
  he said. Then I heard it too a low rumbling,
  building to a roar. WHOOO-OOO!
• The Piedmont! we shouted as the train blasted
  past.
• Im the greatest train-watcher ever, B.J.
  boasted.
• (Treasures, p. 610).

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Supporting details
A good train-watching day,
We waited quietly in the grass beside the
tracks. B.J. heard it first. Its acoming,
he said.
The Piedmont! we shouted as the train blasted
past.
Then I heard it too a low rumbling, building to
a roar. WHOOO-OOO!
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Create a setting

• Our turn

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Lets visualize

• Convenience store
• Shopping mall
• Sports field with a game in progress
• Swimming pool
• Car trip to a new place

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Crowded mall at holiday time

• The mall was crowded with holiday shoppers
  clutching their brightly colored sacs, excited
  children begging to go see Santa, and many people
  lined up outside the movie theater waiting to see
  the Polar Express.

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Supporting details
The mall was crowded with holiday shoppers
clutching their brightly colored sacs,
many people lined up outside the movie theater
waiting to see Polar Express.
excited children begging to go see Santa, and
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Your turn

• With a partner, choose a setting and
• write a descriptive paragraph

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On your own

• Revise a personal narrative in your folder to
  include a descriptive setting

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Reflection

• How did examining writers craft in these stories
  help you in your writing?
• How does adding descriptive details help your
  reader visualize your setting?
• Why is the setting so important in narrative
  writing?

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References

• Adapted from the work of
• Lynne R. Dorfman _at_ Rose Cappelli in Mentor Texts
• Lucy Calkins Units of Study for Primary Writing
• By Jennifer Bernhard
• Clark County Schools
• Jennifer.bernhard_at_clark.kyschool.us