Marriage in Japan

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Marriage in Japan

• History
• Arranged vs. Love
• Mi-ai
• Divorce
• My family

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History of Japanese Marriage
This folding screen depicts a wedding procession
organized by a feudal lord's family during the
Edo period (1603-1868). (Property of the Goto
Museum)
Nara Period
Kamkura Period
Meiji Period
WWII
Edo Period
Heian Period
Modern
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• Heian Period
• Marriage not highest value affairs not
  discouraged
• Primarily marriages for love (court romance)
• Women can marry up to bring up family social
  status
• Men cant marry up into higher class

• Nara Period
• Marriages for love
• Polygyny (more than one wife)

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• Edo Period
• Samurai class arranged marriage- no input by
  couple
• Couple doesnt meet until wedding day
• Commoners love marriages

• Kamakura Period
• Less marriage for love
• Bride and groom live in their respective
  households.
• Bride doesnt live with husband until bear a
  child or parents die

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• Meiji Period
• Arranged marriage through all classes
• First priority compatible social status Family
  background
• Second priority couples feelings toward each
  other

• Modern
• Mostly dating, love marriages.
• Arranged marriage still popular
• First priority compatibility of two individuals
• Second priority union of two families
• Rise of spousal partner introduction services

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• Helping Prospective Brides and
• Grooms Get Acquainted
• OMMG Ltd.
• Written by Tokunaga Kyoko
• Photos by Akagi Koichi
•   OMMG's customers want a spouse who has similar
  values and interests, and who matches their
  requirements regarding income and looks. The
  company uses a computerized system to introduce
  people to each other. After the introduction,
  couples might date and eventually marry. About
  64,000 men and women throughout Japan have
  enrolled with the company, hoping to meet the
  person of their dreams.
•   Shinozuka Ryoko, an OMMG spokeswoman, explains,
  "Of course we can't guarantee that our members
  will marry. Our job is simply to provide
  information that will help people meet someone of
  the opposite sex. Clients use our services as one
  way to meet people." In addition to its computer
  search services, the company issues a monthly
  magazine containing self-introductions, updates
  on events organized by members, and information
  on groups formed by members on their own.
•   Membership costs 365,000 yen (paid in advance),
  and is good for three years. The most common age
  is around 30, though quite a few hopefuls join in
  their early 20s. No matter what their age, women
  tend to describe themselves in greater detail and
  have more clearly defined requirements of a
  potential partner.

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• Miai an interview or meeting with a prospective
  spouse. Miai was traditionally a common way for a
  man or woman to find a spouse for an arranged
  marriage (miai kekkon). Miai is comparable to a
  blind date.
• About 20-25 of marriages in Japan are arranged
  in this manner.

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• Nakodo (the go-between) A man who, with the
  assistance of his wife, arranges a marriage.
  Traditionally, the nakodo finds a man and woman
  who want to marry, arranges their first meeting
  together, the ceremonial exchange of engagement
  gifts (yuino) if they decide to marry, and the
  wedding. In the past, the nakodo was also called
  upon later to resolve any marital strife that
  occurred during the couple's marriage. Recently,
  however, the nakodo's role has decreased and he
  and his wife generally participate only in the
  wedding ceremony and reception. In this case, the
  groom's boss is usually asked to act as the
  nakodo. His main job is to introduce the bride
  and groom at the beginning of the wedding
  reception, and he and his wife sit on either side
  of the couple at the head table.

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Yuino to apply A kind of engagement ceremony
held between the two families once a man and
woman decide to marry.The nakodo often arranges
yuino, which is attended by the couple and their
parents. The families exchange traditional gifts
that symbolize happiness, long life, good
fortune, etc. ,and the groom's family presents
dowry money to the bride's family. The
groom-to-be also usually presents an engagement
ring to his prospective bride while she gives him
such gifts as cuff links and a tie clip or a
watch in return.
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• Kekkon-shiki Wedding ceremony. The Japanese
  wedding ceremony is traditionally a Shinto rite.
  Although formerly formal Shinto wedding
  ceremonies were held at a shrine, many are now
  held inside the hotel where the wedding reception
  is planned, as it is more convenient. One hall in
  the hotel is converted into a Shinto shrine for
  this purpose.
• In Shinto wedding rites, only the bride and
  groom, their parents, siblings and relatives, and
  the nakodo and his wife attend the ceremony.
  Friends of the bride and groom are not usually
  invited.

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• Hiro-en Wedding reception. This is usually held
  immediately after the wedding ceremony and it is
  often very long and formal. Instead of giving
  presents to the couple, guests are expected to
  give a certain sum of money called oiwai,
  (usually from 20,000 to 30,00yen) which is used
  to cover the costs of the wedding and reception.
  At the beginning, the nakodo makes a speech
  introducing the bride and groom, and this is
  followed by congratulatory addresses delivered by
  guests of honor from each side. Then all the
  guests drink a toast in honor of the marriage,
  followed by a sumptuous meal. Many guests
  continue to deliver congratulatory addresses
  right through the dinner or sing songs. Just
  after dinner starts, the bride changes from a
  traditional Japanese white wedding kimono
  (uchi-kake) into a Western style wedding dress.
  The groom also changes from traditional Japanese
  haori-hakama to a tuxedo, etc. The bride and
  groom are usually so busy changing and greeting
  guests that they don't get to eat. At the end,
  the groom's father or the groom himself or both
  express their gratitude to the nakodo, his wife
  and the guests, and the reception ends.

Nijikai Party held after the hiro-en. This is a
much more informal party attended only by the
bride groom and close friends.
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 In Japan it is customary for newlyweds to give
presents (called hikide-mono) to their guests at
the wedding.
"Giving presents is more than just a matter of
form. The couple tends to choose gifts with
care. Quite often they give something different
to each guest."
Some might go for bottles of wine with their
names and picture printed on the label, or
famous-brand tableware or chocolates.
Couples can expect to pay around 4,000 yen per
guest.
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Family Tree
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Family Tree
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• Although he was celebrated as a hero, he always
  felt like he was a failure. Because he was a
  Kamikaze pilot his mission was to die for the
  emperor, but he survived. He did not fulfill his
  mission and felt guilty for surviving.

On April 25,1945, while Takashi was taxiing his
aircraft down the runway for take-off,
the airport was attacked by three American
P-51s and his plane was hit. By the time he
stopped his plane, his face and body were
burning.
Meanwhile, Takashis squadron left on their
assigned suicide mission without him. None
returned.
Grossly disfigured, he never dared dream he would
have a normal life, least of all a wife and
family.
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Ojiichan and Obaachan
With Takashis brother Yoshio acting as nakodo
Takashi and Yukata married, having never even
met
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Family Tree
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Family Tree
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Minami Kitebayashi Family
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Hiro-en (wedding reception). Honored guests, the
nakodo and his wife sit with couple at main table.
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During the hiro-en (reception) the couple will
wear traditional Japanese wedding kimono (bride
uchi-kake, groom haori-hakama) for part of the
time. After dinner begins, they will change into
Western style wedding gown and tuxedo.
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This is the second of the three wedding costumes
the bride and groom wear during the wedding.
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This is at the nijikai (informal party after
reception)
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Family Tree
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