Your Guide to Living Well With Stress

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• Your Guide to Living Well With Stress

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FOCUS 1 You have to see it to see through it.

• What did you notice was you primary coping
  style(s)?
• How does stress influence your body, your
  thinking, your emotions, and your actions?
• Are there patterns of experiencing and responding
  to stress that are not serving your health,
  happiness, relationships, or success?

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FIGHT OR FLIGHT FREEZE OR PLEASE TEND AND
BEFRIEND
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What is one thing you noticed about your stress
process?
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FOCUS 2 Finding a healthy, flexible coping
style.

• Make a commitment to at least one practice that
  helps you reverse an unhelpful coping response.

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Freeze or please

• Expansive breathing exercises
• Tense and release/relaxation
• Expressive writing
• Seek social support
• Focus on the 3 cs to motivate active coping
• Add higher-intensity exercise

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Fight or flight

• Breathing exercises
• Relaxation
• Seek social support
• Focus on controllability awareness
• Add mindfulness-based activities

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Tend and befriend

• Balance other-care with self-care
• Focus on 3 cs to motivate active coping (rather
  than emotional coping)
• Challenge
• Control
• Commitment
• Add higher-intensity exercise

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What is your flexible coping strategy?
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Focus 3 Building stress resilience.

• Commit to an activity that brings you joy,
  creative expression, or social connection.
• Commit to ONE domain in which you are not fully
  caring for your body. (Sleep, exercise, diet,
  substance use, posture/ergonomics, etc.)
• Choose one cognitive practice that makes you
  feel better able to handle stress.
• mindfulness meditation
• expressive writing
• hardiness thinking
• stress inoculation visualizations

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What is your stress resilience strategy?
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Focus 4 Dealing with a specific stressor

• Why is this situation threatening? What is
  threatened? (My ego/self-image, my physical
  safety or health, my hope for a future positive
  outcome, my efficiency and ability to get my own
  to-do list accomplished, the security of a
  relationship, etc.)
• How did I get myself into this situation, and do
  I have to stay in it?
• Controllability analysis How much control do I
  have here, and at what cost? How can I share
  control, or let go of control?
• Whats a positive action I can take?
• Whats a positive reframing of this situation?
• Am I letting this situation take over my
  stress-resilience habits (socializing,
  exercising, sleeping enough, etc.). If so, what I
  can do to restore my resilience?

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What is the major source of stress in your life
right now?
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PHYSICAL TECHNIQUES
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Breathing techniques for transforming stress
physiology

• 4/8 Inhale for a count of four, exhale for a
  count of eight. Exhale through pursed lips if it
  helps you extend the exhalation without strain.
  The slower the breath, the more effective, but
  dont force, hold, or strain. Especially good for
  calming a fight or flight response, or for
  overcoming insomnia.
• 3-part breathing Place your hands on your belly,
  and feel the belly expand as you inhale and draw
  in as you exhale. Then place your hands on your
  lower ribs, and feel them expand as you inhale
  and draw in as you exhale. Then place your hands
  on your upper ribs and chest, and feel them
  expand as you inhale and draw in as you exhale.
  Finally, notice all three movements as you
  breathe 1) Belly, 2) Lower ribs, and 3) Upper
  ribs and chest. Breathe at a relaxed pace.
  Especially good for empowering a freeze or please
  response.

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Intentional Tension and Release

• On exhale tense (on inhale, let go)
• Fists
• Biceps
• Chest
• Belly
• Glutes
• Feet arches
• Face scrunch
• On inhale tense (on exhale, let go)
• Finger spread
• Upper back squeeze
• Shoulder lift
• Toe lift
• Shake out!!!!

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Relaxation

• 9-min guided relaxation on class web page.
• On your own
• Lie down.
• Intentional tense and release.
• Focus on how your breathing feels.
• If the mind wanders, count the breath or say
  mentally inhale and exhale.

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COGNITIVE TECHNIQUES
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Hardiness Thinking

• CHALLENGE
• What is the opportunity in this situation? What
  is the best possible outcome?
• In what ways will I grow as a result of meeting
  this challenge, whether I get the outcome I want
  or not?
• CONTROL
• 1) What resources do I bring to this challenge?
• Skills/Strengths
• Past experience
• Other people and resources
• 2) Whats something concrete I can do now?
• COMMITMENT
• What is important in my life that I can focus
  some positive time and energy on?
• Which values can I live in this situation?
  (family, honesty, courage, creativity, faith,
  etc.)

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Controllability Awareness

• Personal control
• What do I have control over? In the situation? In
  my response? My actions, thinking, emotions?
• Have I been focusing on what I can control or
  what I cant?
• Have I been focusing on low-priority control?
• Is fighting this challenge the best use of my
  energy?
• Shared control/Others in control
• What are other peoples needs and goals in this
  situation? How can other people help me in this
  situation? Have I asked for change or help?Am I
  resisting other people telling me what to do or
  what my choices are?
• Letting go of control
• What does nobody control and what do I need to
  stop worrying about?
• What would a reframing response look like here
  if I need to accept and let go?
• If I need to move on and stop resisting/struggling
  , what is a step in that direction?

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General Expressive Writing

• For the next 4 days, I would like you to write
  your very deepest thoughts and feelings about the
  most traumatic experience of your entire life, or
  an extremely important emotional issue that has
  affected you and your life. In your writing, Id
  like you to really let go and explore your
  deepest emotions and thoughts. You might tie your
  topic to your relationships with others,
  including parents, lovers, friends or relatives
  to your past, your present or your future or to
  who you have been, who you would like to be, or
  who you are now. You may write about the same
  general issues or experiences on all days of
  writing or about different topics each day. Dont
  worry about spelling, grammar or sentence
  structure. The only rule is that once you begin
  writing, you continue until the time (15 minutes)
  is up.

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Stress inoculation

• Choose a specific stressful situation.
• Relax your body and breath.
• Imagine yourself facing this situation.
• Check back in with your body and breath.
• Imagine yourself doing your best in this
  situation. Notice how it feels. Add details.
• Imagine something going wrong.
• Check back in with your body and breath.
• Imagine yourself handling it.
• Imagine the best possible outcome.
• Imagine how you feel for having met this
  challenge.

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Stress Reflection

• Think about something in your life that you would
  describe as stressful.
• What is threatening about this situation?
• How do you find yourself reacting to the threat?
  (stress style)
• Which kind of stress resilience is more appealing
  to you, when you think about this situation
  challenge (active coping) or reframing
  (cognitive/emotional coping)? What would that
  look like?

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Explore More Classes

• Continuing Studies Next Quarter
• Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction
• Expressive Writing
• Workflow
• Stanford Health Improvement Program
• Fitness, mind/body, and self-care (even sleep!)
  classes
• Wellness coaching and education
• Visit hip.stanford.edu
• Palo Alto Medical Foundation
• Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction
• Visit www.pamf.org/mindfulness

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Keep Reading

• Check out the recommended books list on the class
  webpage.
• The webpage is not going anywhere!

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Community

• Me kmcg_at_psych.stanford.edu
• You ?

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