Writing

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Writing
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Writing can be a major goal in almost any course.
It is a skill that will be necessary beyond any
class and can be taught in nearly any
class. Training in writing need not be painful.
Few people want to write poorly and leave a
permanent record of their incompetence.
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By using carefully chosen examples, many
important writing problems can be demonstrated
without reference to arcane rules of grammar and
syntax.
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One very common problem is overly complex
writing, often motivated by an attempt to impress
the audience rather than to communicate clearly.
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Apart from theoretical conceptualizations there
would appear to be no method of selecting among
the indefinite number of varying kinds of factual
observations which can be made about a concrete
phenomenon or field so that the various
descriptive statements about it articulate into a
coherent whole, which constitutes an "adequate,"
a "determinate" description. Adequacy in
description is secured in so far as determinate
and verifiable answers can be given to all the
scientifically important questions involved.
What questions are important is largely
determined by the logical structure of the
generalized conceptual scheme which, implicitly
or explicitly, is employed. (Talcott Parsons)
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The point can be made easily by taking common
proverbs and intentionally making them complex
and bloated. They may look, superficially, as if
something important were being said. The
underlying message is really quite simple but
difficult to see. The contrast can highlight the
importance of direct, concise writing.
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"As a case in point, other authorities have
proposed that slumbering canines are best left in
a recumbent position"
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"It has been posited that a high degree of
curiosity proved lethal to a member of the
species, Felis catus."
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"There is a large body of experimental evidence
which clearly indicates that smaller members of
the genus Mus tend to engage in recreational
activity while the feline is remote from the
locale."
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"From time immemorial, it has been known that the
ingestion of an "apple" (i.e., the pome fruit of
any tree of the genus Malus, said fruit being
unusually round in shape and red, yellow, or
greenish in color) on a diurnal basis will with
absolute certainty keep a primary member of the
health care establishment absent from one's local
environment."
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"Even with the most sophisticated experimental
protocol, it is exceedingly unlikely that you can
instill in a superannuated canine the capacity to
perform novel feats of legerdemain."
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"A sedimentary conglomerate in motion down a
declivity gains no addition of mossy material."
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"The resultant experimental data indicate that
there is no utility in belaboring a deceased
equine."
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How Bad Can You Make Them?
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Now Try These . . .
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"All work and no play makes Jack a dull
boy" "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" "Out
of sight, out of mind" "He who hesitates is
lost "Too many cooks spoil the broth" "Birds
of a feather, flock together" "Opposites attract"
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"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man
healthy, wealthy and wise" "A stitch in time
saves nine" "A little knowledge is a dangerous
thing" "Idle hands are the devil's
playthings" "Love is blind" "A bird in the hand
is worth two in the bush" "Familiarity breeds
contempt"
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Members of an avian species of identical plumage
congregate.
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Surveillance should precede saltation.
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Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
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Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous
to rectitude.
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The stylus is more potent than the saber.
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It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a
superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.
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Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate
the scion.
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The temperature of the aqueous content of an
unmittingly ogled saucepan does not reach 212
degrees F.
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All articles that coruscate with resplendence are
not auriferous.
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Where there are visible vapors having their
prevalence in ignited carbonaceous materials,
there is conflagration.
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Sorting on the part of mendicants must be
interdicted.
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A plethora of individuals with expertise in
culinary techniques vitiate the potable
concoction produced by steeping certain
comestibles.
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Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience
intramurally.
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Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any
testimony.
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Individuals who make their abode in vitreous
edifices would be advised to refrain from
catapulting petrous projectiles.
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Neophyte's serendipity.
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Exclusive dedication to repetitive chores without
interludes of hedonistic activity renders John a
hebetudinous fellow.
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A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no
congeries of a small, green bryophitic plant.
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The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation
possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.
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Abstention from any aleatory undertaking
precludes a potential escalation of a lucrative
nature.
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Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have
the potential of fracturing my osseous structure,
but appellations will eternally remain innocuous.
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Persons of imbecilic mentality divagate in
parameters which cherubic entities approach with
trepidation.
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Elementary sartorial techniques initially applied
preclude repetitive similar actions to the square
of three.
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The bottom line What rules seem to motivate
this kind of writing?
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Dont write as if you were intentionally
following the same rules.
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Common words and phrases can become habitual
sources of bloated prose.
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases utilize
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases utilize use
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases finalize
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases finalize en
d
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases fabricate
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases fabricate m
ake
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases initial
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases initial
first
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases ultimate
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases ultimate la
st
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases prior to
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases prior
to before
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases subsequent
to
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases subsequent
to after
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases militate
against
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases militate
against prohibit
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases at this point
in time
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases at this point
in time now
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases in the event
that
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases in the event
that if
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases it is crucial
that
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases it is crucial
that must
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases it is
reasonable to expect
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases it is
reasonable to expect we predict
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases relating to the
subject matter of
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Common Bloated Words and Phrases relating to the
subject matter of about
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Bottom line Spend words like money.
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Students sometimes do not appreciate how powerful
punctuation can be. Here, too, some simple
examples can make the point better than a listing
of the common rules for placement of commas,
periods, and dashes.
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Students sometimes do not appreciate how powerful
punctuation can be. Here, too, some simple
examples can make the point better than a listing
of the common rules for placement of commas,
periods, and dashes. "For sale, five Rottweiler
dogs, obedient, well-trained, will eat anything,
very fond of children."
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Punctuation can make quite a difference in the
meaning of the same sentence . . .
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Punctuation can make quite a difference in the
meaning of the same sentence . . . Woman without
her man is a savage.
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Punctuation can make quite a difference in the
meaning of the same sentence . . . Woman without
her man is a savage. Woman, without her man, is
a savage.
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Punctuation can make quite a difference in the
meaning of the same sentence . . . Woman without
her man is a savage. Woman, without her man, is
a savage. Woman--without her, man is a savage.
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Through habit and common usage in everyday
language we sometime lapse into sloppy use of
words and phrases.
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases exact same
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases close scrutiny
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases most perfect
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases more
comprehensive
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases more exact
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases totally
annihilate
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases original
prototype (and authentic replicas)
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases decimate
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases viable
alternative
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases terrible
tragedy
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases final outcome
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases sudden crisis
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases free gift
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases past
experience (or history)
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases old fossils
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases old classic
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases todays soup
du jour
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases reflect back
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases reduced down
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases complete
unanimity
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases triangular in
shape
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases old adage
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases dangerous
weapon
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases safe haven
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases underground
tunnel
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases mutual
agreement
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases genuine
original
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases Jewish rabbi
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases learned
scholar
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases trained
professional
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases shrug your
shoulders
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases the decade of
the 80s (the month of July)
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Commonly Misused Words and Phrases HIV virus, AC
current, IRA account
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All brought to you by the Department of
Redundancy Department
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Another opportunity for miscommunication arises
in the placement of modifiers. Again, no arcane
rules of grammar need to be learned. Some clear
examples usually make the point quite well.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear Antecedents
Placement of only I hit him in the eye
yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear
Antecedents Placement of only I hit him in the
eye
yesterday. Only I hit him in the eye yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear
Antecedents Placement of only I hit him in the
eye
yesterday. I only hit him in the eye yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear
Antecedents Placement of only I hit him in the
eye
yesterday. I hit only him in the eye yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear
Antecedents Placement of only I hit him in the
eye
yesterday. I hit him only in the eye yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear Antecedents
Placement of only I hit him in the eye
yesterday. I hit him
in only the eye yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear Antecedents
Placement of only I hit him in the eye
yesterday. I hit him
in the only eye yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear Antecedents
Placement of only I hit him in the eye
yesterday. I hit him
in the eye only yesterday.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear Antecedents
Placement of only I hit him in the eye
yesterday. I hit him
in the eye yesterday only.
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Misplaced Modifiers andUnclear
Antecedents Survey Question How many people do
you employ, broken down by sex?
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Misplaced Modifiers and Unclear
Antecedents "Free information about V.D. To get
it, call 654-7000."
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Misplaced Modifiers and Unclear Antecedents "He
wished to read the book himself so I lent him the
copy belonging to my wife, a rather grimy and
dog-eared specimen."
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Too much reliance on the rules can suck the
life out of prose and make for less effective
communication.
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Four score and seven years ago, our fathers
brought forth upon this continent a new nation
conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the
proposition that all men are created equal. Now
we are engaged in a great civil war . . . testing
whether that nation, or any nation so conceived
and so dedicated . . . can long endure. We are
met on a great battlefield of that war. We have
come to dedicate a portion of that field as a
final resting place for those who here gave their
lives that this nation might live. It is
altogether fitting and proper that we should do
this.
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But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate. . .we
cannot consecrate. . . we cannot hallow this
ground. The brave men, living and dead, who
struggled here have consecrated it, far above our
poor power to add or detract. The world will
little note, nor long remember, what we say here,
but it can never forget what they did here.
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It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated
here to the unfinished work which they who fought
here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is
rather for us to be here dedicated to the great
task remaining before us. . .that from these
honored dead we take increased devotion to that
cause for which they gave the last full measure
of devotion . . . that we here highly resolve
that these dead shall not have died in vain . . .
that this nation, under God, shall have a new
birth of freedom . . . and that government of the
people . . . by the people . . . for the people .
. . shall not perish from this earth.
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Our nation began 87 years ago, founded on the
ideals of liberty and equality. Now we find those
ideals being tested in a great civil war. We must
consider whether a nation founded on such ideals
can truly survive. We meet today on a great
battlefield of that war to dedicate a portion of
it to those who have given their lives. It is a
fitting but meek gesture. The brave men who
struggled here have honored it in a way far more
important than our dedication today. We can only
insure that the world will never forget what they
did here. We must also finish the work they
have started. We must renew our devotion to the
cause for which they gave their lives. We must
resolve that these dead shall not have died in
vain--that this nation and its principles shall
survive.
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Careless use of language may produce some
unintended meanings. The following signs were
found in Great Britain, but could be found just
about anywhere . . .
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IN A LAUNDROMAT Automatic washing machines.
Please remove all your clothes when the light
goes out.
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IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE Bargain Basement
Upstairs
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IN AN OFFICE Would the person who took the step
ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further
steps will be taken.
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IN ANOTHER OFFICE After the tea break, staff
should empty the teapot and stand upside down on
the draining board.
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ON A CHURCH DOOR This is the gate of Heaven.
Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept
locked because of the draft. Please use side
entrance)
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OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP We exchange anything
- bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring
your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
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QUICKSAND WARNING Quicksand. Any person passing
this point will be drowned. By order of the
District Council.
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SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
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NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANERS WINDOW Anyone leaving
their garments here for more than 30 days will be
disposed of.
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IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW Closed due to
illness.
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SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK Elephants Please Stay
In Your Car
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SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE For anyone who has
children and doesnt know it, there is a day care
on the first floor.
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NOTICE IN A FIELD The farmer allows walkers to
cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
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MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET If you cannot read, this
leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
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ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR We can repair anything
(Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesnt
work)
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Classified Ad in an English Newspaper Golden
Retriever puppies, parents 1st class pedigree,
father Prince of Wales.
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Sign at Lake Mead, Nevada Drowning prohibited
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Church Bulletin Tonights Sermon What is
Hell? Come Early and Listen to our Choir Practice
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Road Sign Caution Slow Kids on Road with No
Shoulders
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Some News Headlines Teachers Strike Idle Kids
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Some News Headlines Survivor of Siamese Twins
Joins Parents
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Some News Headlines Police Begin Campaign to
Run Down Jaywalkers
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Some News Headlines Juvenile Court to Try
Shooting Defendant
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Some News Headlines Magnate Used to Remove Nail
in Stomach
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Some News Headlines Chef Throws His Heart into
Helping Feed the Needy
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Some News Headlines Local High School Dropouts
Cut in Half
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Some News Headlines Hospital Sued by Seven Foot
Doctors
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Some News Headlines Iraq Head Seeks Arms
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Some News Headlines Panda Mating Fails
Veterinarian Takes Over
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Some News Headlines New Study of Obesity Looks
for Larger Test Group
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Some News Headlines St. Luke Is Having A Fair
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Some News Headlines Is There A Ring Around
Uranus?
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Some Helpful Guidelines Be kind to the reader.
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Some Helpful Guidelines Use clear transitions
between sentences. Use clear transitions
between paragraphs. Random assignment,
although useful in research design, should not be
used for sentence placement and paragraph
construction.
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Some Helpful Guidelines Provide structure for
the reader. This can be accomplished by liberal
use of headings, overviews, and summaries.
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Some Helpful Guidelines Adopt a lean writing
style.
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Some Helpful Guidelines Use the active voice.
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Some Helpful Guidelines Use the first person.
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Some Helpful Guidelines "Blessed is the man
sic, who, having nothing to say, abstains from
giving us wordy evidence of that fact."
George Eliot
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Some Helpful Guidelines Break any rule before
saying something outrageously stupid.
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The Process of Writing
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The Process of Writing Writing is hard work for
most people. Expect to work hard at it.
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The Process of Writing Organize your thoughts
before putting them in writing. Outlines are a
useful first step.
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The Process of Writing
The best cure for writer's block is writing (or
is it?).
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The Process of Writing Revise, revise, revise.
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The Process of Writing Proofread. Caption under
a news picture in the Davis (CA)
Enterprise The shade structure protects
children from ultraviolet rats and hot playground
equipment.
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