Conflict Styles

1
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Conflict Styles
2
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
High
Directing
Cooperating
Compromising
Avoiding
Harmonizing
Low
High
Relationship
3
Illustration
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
  Im Alison. Ill admit, Im kinda a slob. But
it isnt because Im a bad person, and I dont
mean to hurt my roommates or make them angry, but
Im just too busy and have too many other
responsibilities to spend all my time cleaning
up. My other housemates seem like they are
getting annoyed with me though.
4
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
The director
One of my housemates is a director. What is he
likely to say or do?
5
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
The Avoider
Another of my housemates is an avoider. What is
he likely to say or do?
6
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
The Harmonizer
Another one is a harmonizer. What is he likely to
say or do?
7
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
The compromiser
Another one is a compromiser. What is she likely
to say or do?
8
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
The cooperator
My last housemate is a cooperator. What is she
likely to say or do?
9
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
In small groups

• Discuss your preferred calm styles.
• Why do you think you respond like this?
• Does it work well with others around you? Why or
  why not?
• Are there some styles that you have trouble with?
  Why?
• What do you see as the costs and benefit of this
  style?

10
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Make a chart

11
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
In small groups

• Discuss your preferred storm styles.
• Are they the same as your calm scores?
• Why or why not?
• What kinds of situations tend to trigger this
  change?
• Do you think this approach to stormy situations
  serves you well?
• Does it work well with others around you? Why
  or why not?

12
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
In the full group

• How many people had similar public scores to
  intimate scores?
• How many people found their scores changed from
  one setting to the next?
• Why do you think this is?
• -

13
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Make a chart

14
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Bringing out the best in othersIn small groups

• Identify what style each person in your group
  uses most in stormy, intimate (friends and
  family) situations.
• Then consider how people with that style can best
  interact with people with the 4 other styles.
  What (if anything) should you do differently to
  try to get the best outcome?
• If people representing these other styles are in
  your groupdo they agree with your suggested
  approach?
• Do this for each of the different styles
  represented in your group (if everyone in your
  group is the same style and you end early,
  pretend some of you are a different style and
  work through these questions again.

15
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Role plays

• Christmas Vacation
• Form groups of 4. Two people take roles two
  people watch.
• Play this dispute out for 5-10 minutes, and then
  discuss.

16
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Role play discussion

• Have the observers start by reflecting on
• Which style did each person use?
• Do the role players agree (about which style they
  were using)?
• For role players Is this your normal style?
  How did this approach feelto both people? Did
  it enable you to solve the problem?
• If it didnt work well, what other approaches
  might have worked better? (If you have time,
  trying doing it again with different styles. How
  did this feel and work?

17
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Role plays

• Rent. Now switch roles. Let the observers role
  play, and the Christmas disputants be observers.
  Try out the rent role play using the style that
  seems most appropriate to this situation.
• Play this dispute out for 5-10 minutes, and then
  discuss.

18
PowerPoint Summary of Conflicts vs. Disputes
Role play discussion

• Have the observers start by reflecting on
• Which style did each person use?
• Do the role players agree (about which style they
  were using)?
• For role players Is this your normal style?
  How did this approach feelto both people? Did
  it enable you to solve the problem?
• If it didnt work well, what other approaches
  might have worked better? (If you have time,
  trying doing it again with different styles. How
  did this feel and work?