Interpersonal Effectiveness

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Interpersonal Effectiveness

• Factors Reducing Interpersonal Effectiveness
• Safdar I. Chaudhary, MD

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Lack of Skill

• You actually DONT KNOW what to say or how to
  act.
• You dont know how you should behave to achieve
  your objectives
• You dont know what will work
• Patients make unskilled attempts to have valid
  needs met

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Worry Thoughts

• Worry thoughts get in the way of your ability to
  act effectively. You have the ability, but your
  worry thoughts interfere with doing or saying
  what you want
• Worry about bad consequences- They wont like
  me, she will think I am stupid.

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Worry thoughts

• Worries about whether you deserve to get what you
  want
• I am such a bad person I dont deserve this
• Worries about not being effective and calling
  yourself names I wont do it right, I will
  fall apart, I am so stupid.

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Emotions

• Your emotions (Anger, Frustration,
  Fear, Guilt) get in the way of your ability to
  act effectively. You have ability, but your
  emotions make you unable to do or say what you
  want. EMOTIONS instead of skills, control what
  you say and do.

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Indecision

• You cant decide what to do or what you really
  want.
• You cant figure out how to balance
• Asking for too much vs. asking for nothing.
• Saying no to everything vs. giving in to
  everything

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INDECISIONI must have a prodigious quantity
of mind it takes me as much as a week sometimes
to make it up.- Innocents Abroad
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Environment

• Characteristic of the environment make it
  impossible for even a very skilled person to be
  effective. SKILLFUL BEHAVIOUR DOESNT WORK.
• Other people are too powerful
• Other people will be threatened or have some
  other reason for not liking you if you get what
  you want.
• Other people wont give you what you need or let
  you say no without punishing you unless you
  sacrifice your self-respect, at least a little.

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Myths about Interpersonal Effectiveness

• I cant stand it if someone gets upset with me.
  
• CHALLENGE____________________
• If the say no, it will kill me.
• CHALLENGE__________________________
• I must be really inadequate if I cant fix this
  myself.
• CHALLENGE_________________________

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Additional Information other teaching /
educational resources

• You can reach Safdar I. Chaudhary, MD at the
  following
• Office 341 Story Road, Export, PA 15632
• Tel [phone]
• Email safdar3_at_gmail.com
• Web www.seclairer.com
• Fax [phone]