Connecting with the Disconnected

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Connecting with the Disconnected

• A Teaching Module for Church Leadership
• By Mindy Bowne Hancock

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Objectives

• Discuss the biblical mandate for connecting with
  the disconnected
• Communicate the situation of those in poverty,
  mental illness, and single parenthood
• Encourage the students to begin thinking
  proactively about how to treat the disconnected
  and assimilate them into the body
• Assess the situation of the local church with
  regard to this matter

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Christian Community think again!

• The gospel of Jesus Christ redefines how rich
  and poor will come together in community
• Or those with sounds minds and those with mental
  illness.
• Or the married couples and the single parent

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Christian Community think again!

• Part of our discipleship is getting used to
  living in a world unlike the one were used to.
• By this all people will know that you are my
  disciples, if you love one another
• John 1335

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Christian Community think again!

• Our life together can be our greatest witness to
  the world that we have encountered Jesus
• Our life together can be a contagious community

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Christian Community think again!

• Biblical basis
• Consider in the book of Acts how Jews and
  Samaritans came together or Jews and Romans (Acts
  8, 10)
• Galatians 328. Paul writes that what used to
  drive people apart is now overcome in Christ.
• 1 Corinthians. In this letter Paul deals with the
  division that is occurring between the rich and
  poor in that community. He tells them when this
  happens, they do not discern the Body
  (1129)they are not being the true Church.

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• So how do we do community with those who are
  different?

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With those who are

• Poor
• Mentally ill
• Single mothers
• THE DISCONNECTED

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Keep in mind

• Jesus calls us to love the least of these
• Were to show special concern for those who
  suffer and are poor (Lev. 25 Ruth 2)
• We are to see Jesus Himself in each one (Matt.
  2540)

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Connecting with the Disconnected

• The first step is just getting informed
• We must be informed about a persons special
  needs if we are to respond appropriately

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The Poor

• Since 2000, the number of poor Americans has
  grown by more than 4 million
• Total Americans below the official poverty
  thresholds numbered 35.9 million (2003)
• On average, one out of every three Americans are
  officially classified as living in poverty at
  least 2 months out of the year

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The Poor

• These are people with special needs
• They may be hungry In 2002, 34.9 million people
  lived in households experiencing food
  insecurity--that is, not enough food for basic
  nourishment
• They may even be homeless

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The Poor

• Dont make assumptions
• A large percentage of the poor have jobsjobs
  that dont pay enough.
• For a mother who works full-time at minimum wage
  to support one small child, that translates to
  earnings of 10,712 a year -- which is 1,303
  below the 2003 poverty threshold for a family of
  two.

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The Poor

• Take the Poverty Quiz
• How did you do?
• Were you surprised?

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The Poor

• Living in Christian community with people who are
  poor requires sensitivity on the part of those
  with more money.
• Does your church often fellowship by going out to
  eat?
• Are activities like retreats or camps affordable?
• How do people at church dress?

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The Poor

• The Body cannot be whole without its diverse
  parts the gifts of all are necessary.
• Having the poor among us is a wonderful gift,
  reminding us all of the simplicity of life that
  Jesus calls us to.
• Having the poor among us helps us fight our
  tendencies of materialism and consumerism

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The Poor

• Having the poor among us keeps it very real in
  our minds how we are to use our wealth for Gods
  kingdom.
• Its easier to remember why you need to refrain
  from buying that new outfit if you are friends
  with someone who cant even afford to buy
  vegetables.
• Our wealth belongs to God, not to us.
• Wealth is given in order to be given away.

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• The least of these are not only those who are
  materially poor

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Mental Illness

• Normalcy is important to those with mental
  illness.
• They want to fit in like everyone else.
• They have typical goals and dreams and get
  frustrated when their illness interferes with
  these.

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Mental Illness

• People with an ongoing mental illness are often
  isolated
• Very often their loss of self-esteem or the
  symptoms of the illness exacerbate the tendency
  to withdraw.
• People who are mentally ill are tremendously
  affirmed by having a relationship with someone in
  the congregation because all too often that
  person may have no other friends or support
  systems.

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Mental Illness

• We need to become familiar with their symptoms
  and comfortable with how to handle them.
• Religious communities are in a unique position to
  combat stigma and provide a message of acceptance
  and hope.
• Reassure the person that God knows, loves and
  understands the person's needs even if he/she is
  too ill to express them to God.

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• Another group of people who often experience
  loneliness and a lack of community are single
  parents.

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Single Parents

• Single parents are an increasingly large
  percentage of the population
• Remember that situations are all unique
• Some are divorced, others are widowed, and some
  had children out of wedlock
• Dont pry they will tell you their story when
  they are ready

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Single Parents

• Many are looking for a fresh start.
• They might be tired of dwelling on the past.
• They may deal with loneliness or feel isolated.
• They will worry about fitting in, especially at a
  church.
• Money may be tight.

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Single Parents

• They need your friendship
• A mother with a boy has a son who needs a man to
  mentor him. If a mother has a daughter, she needs
  a positive male role model.
• Single fathers daughters may need a woman to
  talk to

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Single Parents

• They need your friendship
• Have him or her over for dinner
• Invite her to a girls night out. Invite him to
  a guys night out.
• Volunteer to babysit. Single parents desperately
  need some alone time regularly

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Single Parents

• Is there a support group for single parents?
• Is there a small group they can be a part of and
  feel included in?
• If not, consider starting one.

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Diverse Groups

• The poor
• The mentally ill
• The single parent
• Outsiders
• All need in
• All loved by God

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• This is just a very brief look at some facts
  about just a few groups of disconnected people.
• Whatever the case, its important to learn about
  the person and their special needs.
• Then do whatever you can to connect with them.

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Interview

• I conducted the following interview with a man
  from my church who is both mentally ill and poor
  (as well as being a homosexual)a person with a
  lot of potential for feeling disconnected from
  the church. Let me share his insights with you

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Interview

• 1. What are the primary ways youve been able to
  connect with people from church?
• Hanging out with people, getting to know them and
  them get to know me. Feeling I can be myself with
  them. It ruins relationships when someone tries
  to be something theyre not.

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Interview

• 2. Have you had any negative experiences at
  church so far?
• No. Theyve been really good.
• 3. Whats the most positive part of your church
  experience?
• Having friends.

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Interview

• 4. If you were a visitor to a church, what kinds
  of things would you be looking for? What would
  make you want to stay?
• Asking Could I fit in? Will they want me here?
  Will I want to be here? Can I get comfortable
  here? And answering yes.

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Interview

• 5. What kinds of things made you feel comfortable
  at our church?
• The laid back aspect of the lead pastors
  personality. He didnt try to make his staff be
  inauthentic. Everyone can be who they are, not an
  image. I used to be guilty of trying to be
  something Im not A lot of the parishioners made
  me feel welcome. theyve never met a stranger at
  our church. People got used to me.

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Interview

• 6. How does the worship service connect best with
  you? Which elements touch you the most?
• The Bible study because of the relationships.
  Communion. I love the consistency It is KEY for
  me. You know what to expect youre never thrown
  for a loop. Even when things do change, you try
  to keep us informed. Changes arent top-down,
  theyre discussed. If we didnt know what to
  expect we would think why are we here?. Being
  informed makes us feel apart.

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Interview

• 7. What are some ways that you think are good for
  trying to connect with people who are different
  than ourselves?
• Dave (a friend) connected with me by finding
  commonality even if age and experience arent in
  common. Find something in common. Its what I try
  to do with new people. He connected with me at
  something I could relate tomy interests Im
  trying to learn to find things in common with
  people I dont know well yet. oh yeah, I know
  about that too You need that in order to
  connect. You need common bonds to form
  relationships.

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• This man has a lot to teach us all about
  connecting with the disconnected.
• One of the best things of all that we can learn
  is to ask them.
• Be authentic, be interested, and find out what
  you do have in common.

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For starters

• Our common need for Jesus, our common need for
  community, our common experience of being saved
  by grace.

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Connecting

• Connecting with the disconnected is a huge part
  of our witness to the world.
• Disconnected thats how the world is. Turning
  away those who are different, putting up barriers
  between people.
• Were not to be like the world. Were to be
  outbreakings of Gods kingdomplaces where
  disconnected people get connected.

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• Connecting with the disconnected is our calling.
• The first step may be to connect with them at
  work, in your neighborhood, or at the store.
• However they come to visit your church, make sure
  they are welcome and accepted when they do come.