The Importance of Parent Education

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The Importance of Parent Education
Fran Kulas Director of Coach and Player
Development Kentucky Youth Soccer Association
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What problems, issues, or concerns have you
experienced with parents?
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Insight Magazine Issue 4, Volume 3, Autumn 2000
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It is the responsibility of responsible adults to
protect children from those who are not
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Children have 4 basic emotional needs in
organized sports

• To play without unhealthy pressure to win
  imposed
• by parents and coaches
• To be treated like children, not miniature
  
• professionals
• 3. Adult role models whose sportsmanlike
  behavior
• helps make participation fun
• 4. To play without adult-imposed pressure for
  financial gain inspired by professional or
  big-time collegiate sports
• (Douglas E. Abrams Villanova Sports Journal,
  2002)

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Parents Fit Neatly into Three Groups

• Parents who understand that adults set the
  example for young athletes
• Parents who live vicariously through their
  children and remain prone
• to misbehavior at games
• 3. Parents unsure about how to behave, often
  because their children just
• began playing these are the impressionable
  parents of the next
• generation

Douglas E. Abrams Lessons from the hockey dad
trial San Diego Union-Tribune 1/16/02
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Current Issues
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The never-ending tug-of-war
I try to do what she says I should do, a
thirteen-year-old skater told me about her mom.
But she never skated and what she tells me is
different from what my coach wants. I dont know
what to do. I need to listen to my coach but I
cant stand arguing with my mom. (Caroline
Silby, PH.D Author of Games Girls Play
Understanding and Guiding Young Female Athletes)
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Screaming parents and crying children or crying
parents and screaming children have become part
of the fabric of youth sport.
(Silby, 2000)
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Living Vicariously
Some parents and coaches selfishly impose
unhealthy pressure to win because they suffer
from what child psychologists call achievement
by proxy, or sometimes simply Little League
Syndrome. These adults strut around the stands
if their child is a star or if the team wins most
of its games, particularly if the adults with
newly found bragging rights never starred or won
often when they were young, or if they have not
enjoyed much prestige or success in their own
lives lately. (Abrams, 2002)
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Motivation
Most children play to have fun and be with their
friends. They do not play to entertain the
adults, boost the adults egos or improve the
familys social status in the community.
(Abrams, 2002)
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Motivation
A fair number of parents sign up their children
for the next season without ever even asking
their children if they want to play.
(Just Let the Kids Play pg.77)
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Influence
Children are natural mimics who act like their
parents despite every effort to teach them good
manners. Unknown
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Athletics as an Investment
American households spend 4.1 billion on private
coaching and sports instruction for youth
athletes Canadian Fitness and Lifestyle Research
Institute
In a down economy, people are less willing to
spend money on themselves, but theyre still
willing to spend money on the future of their
children. People think its better to invest in
their kids future than in mutual funds. Dr.
Josh Fink, Medical Director of Prescriptions for
Fitness
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Parent Involvement
Most private programs are conducted by
short-termers, parents and coaches who know
they will be involved for only a few years while
their own children are involved.
(Abrams, 2002)
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(No Transcript)
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Elite Athletes
Mam, why do I need to cut another child for your
son to be considered a good player? Fran
Kulas response to anonymous parent of ODP player
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Ethics
Young players play with great deal of fairness
and sportsmanship. Once they learn how
important the game is to the adults, theyll
learn how to cheat. Dr. Ron Quinn
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How common is this?
I should probably tell you I support my sons
tennis because he gets so much out of it, that it
improves him mentally and physically and teaches
him so much about life. All that is certainly
true, but the real reason is because it adds
drama to my life. Anonymous tennis mom to writer
Emily Greenspan, Little Winners, New York Times
Magazine, April 26, 1981
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Character
The phrase sport builds character has often
been quoted in this context. Some suggest that
sport teaches discipline, moral values, teamwork
and cooperation. In reality, it is the quality
of the adult leadership in sport (especially from
coaches and parents) that determines whether or
not these qualities are learned by children in
sport, and in practice this is not always the
case.
It has often been suggested that sport can offer
the opportunity for children to develop
appropriate values and attitudes towards other
aspects of life. However, in sport there is no
guarantee that this actually occurs.
Aussie Sports Commission for Parents
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Athletics can teach nothing to a child who has
quit (Abrams, 2002)
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Failure an opportunity to begin again more
intelligently
Many parents and coaches misbehave because they
seek to shield their children from defeat, which
the adults mistakenly liken to failure.
(Abrams 2002)
Youth sports provide an ideal avenue for early
exposure to setback and allows supportive adults
to offer guidance with the stakes not nearly as
high as they will be sometimes later on in
life. (Abrams 2002)
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Self-esteem
Research has consistently reported that talented
young athletes direct so much mental energy
toward sports that their self-esteem becomes
based on athletic performance. (Developing
Decision Makers, pg. 112)
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Lets do our part to put YOUTH back in youth
sports!
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Thank You!!!
Fran Kulas frankulas_at_kysoccer.net
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Resources Credits
The Challenges Facing Parents and Coaches in
Youth Sports Assuring Children Fun and Equal
Opportunity, Douglas E. Abrams, Villanova Sports
and Entertainment Law Journal
Games Girls Play, Caroline Silby, PH.D
Just Let the Kids Play, Bob Bigelow,
www.bob-bigelow.com
Developing Decision Makers, Dr. Lynn Kidman,
www.ipcltd.com
Cleats In the Bleachers comics taken from
www.ucomics.com
St. Lordovers Joel Pett Cartoon used with
permission from the author
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Additional Topic-Related Recommended Resources
Kentucky Youth Soccer Website www.kysoccer.net
Applause electronic newsletter (free to
subscribe at www.kysoccer.net)
Attitudes are Contagious Video
www.mayouthsoccer.org
Playing to Extremes Video www.aetv.com
Whatever it Takes Pursuing the Perfect 10 Video
www.cnn.com
Competitive Parents, Dr. Phil Show
www.drphil.com