Title: Original 31:
1??? ????????
2???
3Original 31
- Gentlemen,
- I cannot do better than take my cue from your
distinguished President, and refer in my first
remarks to his remarks in connection with the
old, natural, association between you and me.
When I received an invitation from a private
association of working members of the press of
New York to dine with them today, I accepted that
compliment in grateful remembrance of a calling
that was once my own, and in loyal sympathy
towards a brotherhood which, in spirit, I have
never quitted.
41) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
5A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
- (4) Paraphrase
6(1) Sentence structure
- The present selection consists of two
sentences, of which the first is a simple
sentence while the second is a complex sentence,
composed of an adverbial clause of time, a main
clause and two attributive clauses, one embedded
in the middle of the main clause and the other at
the end of it.
7(2) Additional complication
- After the conjunction than in the first
sentence, there are two coordinate infinitive
phrases the second sentence begins with an
adverbial clause and has a parenthesis embedded
in the attributive clause at the end of the
sentence.
8(3) Notes
- In the first sentence, I cannot do better
than take my cue and refer tomeans it would be
better for me to take my cue and refer to
whileand refer in my first remarks to his
remarks in connection with the old, natural,
associationmeans and in my first remarks refer
to his remarks regarding the old, natural
association. And in When I received an
invitation from a private association of working
members of the press of New York to dine with
them today, I accepted that compliment in
grateful remembrance of a calling that was once
my own, and in loyal sympathy towards a
brotherhood which, in spirit, I have never
quitted, the backbone structure is when I
received, I accepted in grateful remembrance
and in loyal sympathy
9(4) Paraphrase
- The selection could be paraphrased as
follows It would be better for me to take my cue
from your distinguished President and begin my
remarks by referring to his remarks concerned
with the old, natural relations between you and
me. When I received an invitation from a private
New York press association to dine with them
today, I gratefully accepted the compliment and
recalled the profession that was once my own. I
regard them as my brothers and have loyal
sympathy for them, and that sympathy, in spirit,
I have never quitted.
10B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
11(1) Periodicity
- Of two sentences, the first is loose while
the second is periodic in structure, for it
begins with an adverbial clause and has a
parenthetic structure embedded.
12(2) Structural complication
- The two sentences are structurally
complicated to some extent for the reason that in
the first sentence, there are two infinitive
phrases in coordination, which together with the
conjunction than form an elliptic adverbial
clause of comparison, and the second sentence is
complex in structure and it is a periodic
sentence.
13(3) Parallel structure
- In the selection, parallel structures are
frequently used, for example, take my cue, and
refer in my first remarks to his remarks old
and natural you and me I received and I
accepted and in grateful remembrance and in
loyal sympathy .
14(4) Cohesive device
- In terms of cohesive device, examples could
be found as follows parallel structures are
frequently used I and remarks are repeated, and
my and me are used to stand for I association is
used as a synonym for connection and that
complement is used to refer to the invitation,
and so on.
15(5) Structural and lexical formality
- Structurally, the selection is formal in that
the sentences it contains are grammatically
complete and free from colloquial structures.
Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are
popularly used, for example, distinguished,
president, remark, connection, natural,
association, receive, accept, remember,
invitation, to name only a few.
162) Staged translation
- A) Translation 1 with comments
- B) Translation 2 with comments
- C) Translation 3 with comments
17A) Translation 1
- ???
- ????????????????????????????,???????????????
?,????????????????????????????????????????????????
?,?????????,????????????????????,?????????????,???
?,?????,???????
18Comments
- The translation is far from satisfactory due
to the fact that it rigidly follows the original
lexically and structurally, although some
fine-tuning has been imposed on during the
translating process. For the sake of authentic
Chinese, clauses within the two sentences should
be rearranged and clarity should be added to the
meaning of the translation. Specifically
speaking, ????????is not a natural Chinese
expression ????????????????? ???????????????????
?and?????????????are put in the wrong positions
against Chinese norms.
19B) Translation 2
- ????????????????????????,???????????????????
???????????????????????????????????????????,??????
???????????,?????????,????????????????????,???????
????
20Comments
- Improvements are made on the previous
translation in that the first sentence is
reorganized and sounds more authentic.
Furthermore, the second sentence is reorganized
to a greater extent with the use of such natural
expressions as ???? ?????? ?????????? ????
????? ?? ???????and so on. However, this does
not necessarily imply that there is not any room
for further improvement.
21C) Translation 3
- ?????????????????????????????????,??????????
???????????????????,??????????????????,??????????,
?????,??????????????????,??????????,?????????????,
???????????????
22Comments
- Improvements are further made on the previous
translation in that the first sentence is broken
up into two and reorganized drastically. For
example, ?????????????????????????is fronted and
now stands as a sentence on its own. In addition,
more natural expressions are employed such as ??
???????? ??????? ???? ?????? ????? ????, and
others. The second sentence is also broken up
into two and reorganized drastically with more
natural expressions used such as???? ???????
????, and others.
23Original 32
- To the wholesome training of severe newspaper
work, when I was a very young man, I constantly
refer my first successes and my sons will
hereafter testify to their father that he was
always steadily proud of that ladder by which he
rose. If it were otherwise, I should have but a
very poor opinion of their father, which,
perhaps, upon the whole, I have not.
241) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
25A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
- (4) Paraphrase
26(1) Sentence structure
- The present selection consists of two
sentences, of which the first is a compound
complex sentence, composed of a main clause,
which in turn consists of two coordinate clauses,
and an adverbial clause of time embedded at the
end of the prepositional phrase at the beginning
of the sentence, an object clause embedded in the
second coordinate clause and an attributive
clause embedded in the object clause. The second
is a complex sentence, composed of an adverbial
clause of condition and a main clause, which in
turn has an attributive clause embedded at the
end of the sentence.
27(2) Additional complication
- The first sentence begins with a
prepositional phrase and the adverbial clause
immediately after it is parenthetic in structure
the second sentence, in subjunctive mood, begins
with a conditional clause, and at the end of the
sentence, perhaps and upon the whole, are two
parentheses.
28(3) Notes
- In the first sentence, to the wholesome
training of severe newspaper work, when I was a
very young man, I constantly refer my first
successes could be understood like this I
constantly refer my first successes to the
wholesome training of severe newspaper work, and
at that time, I was a very young man. In the
second sentence, I should have but a very poor
opinion of their father means I should have only
a very poor opinion of their father.
29(4) Paraphrase
- Since a paraphrase for the second sentence is
unnecessary, the first sentence will be
paraphrased as follows When I was a very young
man, I received the wholesome training of severe
newspaper work and now I constantly refer my
first successes to that training. I regard the
training as the ladder by which I rose and am
always steadily proud of that ladder. And my sons
will give evidence to that after my death.
30B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
31(1) Periodicity
- The two sentences the selection contains are
both periodic in structure in that the first
sentence begins with a prepositional phrase with
an adverbial clause embedded as a parenthesis
and the second sentence begins with an adverbial
clause of condition and has two parentheses
embedded at the end of it.
32(2) Structural complication
- The two sentences are structurally
complicated for their multiple embeddings and
periodicity.
33(3) Parallel structure
- In the selection, there isnt any parallel
structure except that the first sentence is
composed of two coordinate clauses.
34(4) Cohesive device
- In terms of cohesive device, examples could
be found as follows I is repeatedly used
together with my their is used in connection
with my sons that ladder is used to refer to
newspaper work, and so on.
35(5) Structural and lexical formality
- Structurally, the selection is formal in that
the sentences it contains are grammatically
complete and free from colloquial structures.
Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are
popularly used, for example, wholesome,
constantly, success, hereafter, testify,
steadily, otherwise, and others.
362) Staged translation
- A) Translation 1 with comments
- B) Translation 2 with comments
- C) Translation 3 with comments
37A) Translation 1
- ???????????????,???????????,????????????????
???????????????,??????????????????????,???????????
????,?????,????,?????
38Comments
- By following the original rigidly in terms of
both vocabulary and structure, the translation
has produced unsatisfactory results in that by
placing???????????immediately before ????, the
reader might be misled to understand that but now
I am not referring my first successes to the
wholesome training of sever newspaper work.
???????????????is a mistranslation of my sons
will hereafter testify to their father, which
should be understood as after my death, my sons
will testify to their fatheras could be
evidenced by the word was used in the subordinate
clause that follows.
39B) Translation 2
- ??????,?????????????????,???????????????????
?????,????????????????????????,???????????????,???
?,?????????
40Comments
- The second translation has put right some of
the mistakes in the first. However, ???????????
has in essence not improved on the corresponding
previous part at all. Nevertheless, some minor
readjustments can be witnessed throughout in the
present translation.
41C) Translation 3
- ?????????????????????????????????,??????????
??????,???????????????????????,????,??????????????
?????,????????????
42Comments
- The present translation has put right the
remaining mistake in Translation 2. In addition,
it has reduced the first long sentence in
Translation 2 into a condensed short sentence.
Besides, taking into consideration of Chinese
norms, the present translation has employed such
ready expressions as?????????? ????and others to
substitute for the corresponding parts in the
previous translation and ????????????? and
???????????, are results of explicit translation.
Consequently, the present translation is more
readable, coherent and authentic.
43Original 33
- Hence, gentlemen, under any circumstances,
this company would have been exceptionally
interesting and gratifying to me. But whereas I
supposed that like the fairies pavilion in
Arabian Nights, it would be but a mere handful,
and I find it turn out, like the same elastic
pavilion, capable of comprehending a multitude,
so much the more proud am I of the honor of being
your guest for you will readily believe that the
more widely representative of the press in
America my entertainers are, the more I must feel
the good-will and the kindly sentiments towards
me of the vast institution.
441) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
45A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
- (4) Paraphrase
46(1) Sentence structure
- The selection consists of two sentences, of
which the first sentence is simple in structure
while the second is a complex sentence, composed
of an adverbial clause of concession which
consists of a main clause and an object clause, a
main clause, consisting of two coordinate
clauses, and an adverbial clause of consequence
with an adverbial clause of reason after it,
which in turn consists of a main clause and an
adverbial clause of comparison in the pattern the
more, the more.
47(2) Additional complication
- The first sentence has a complicated
beginning composed of an adverb, a vocative and a
prepositional phrase. The second sentence begins
with an adverb followed by an adverbial clause,
whose subject clause begins with a prepositional
structure in the second coordinate clause of the
main clause of the sentence, there is a
parenthesis embedded, that is, like the same
elastic pavilion and the order of the adverbial
clause of consequence is partially inverted, and
so is the order of the adverbial clause of
comparison together with its main clause. And the
first sentence is in subjunctive mood.
48(3) Notes
- In the second sentence, but whereas I
supposed that like the fairies pavilion in
Arabian Nights means but in contrast to my
supposition that . The pavilion in Arabian
Nights refers to a small tent that can
accommodate a small number of people. Still in
the second sentence, it would be but a mere
handful means it would only be a few and and I
find it turn out, like the same elastic pavilion,
capable of comprehending a multitude could be
rearranged in this way and I find it turn out
capable of comprehending a multitude like the
same elastic pavilion.
49Notes (continued)
- The backbone structure of But whereas I supposed
that like the fairies pavilion in Arabian
Nights, it would be but a mere handful, and I
find it turn out, like the same elastic pavilion,
capable of comprehending a multitude, so much the
more proud am I of the honor of being your guest
is but whereas I supposed that it would be ,
and I find it, so much the more proud am I of
for you will readily believe.
50(4) Paraphrase
- Based on the above analysis, we believe that
it is unnecessary to paraphrase the first
sentence and in the following, only the second
sentence is paraphrased. Originally I supposed
that like the fairies pavilion in Arabian
Nights, the gathering would only consist of a
small number of entertainers but I find out that
it turns out to be, like the same elastic
pavilion, capable of accommodating a great many.
For this reason, I am much more proud of the
honor of being your guest. The reason lies within
your ready belief that the more representatives
come from the press of America as my
entertainers, the more good-will and kind
sentiments towards me of the vast organization I
must feel.
51B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
52(1) Periodicity
- The two sentences in the selection are
periodic in structure, for the first has a
complicated beginning while the second begins
with an adverb and an adverbial clause of
contrast together with a prepositional phrase
embedded as a parenthesis.
53(2) Structural complication
- The first is a simple sentence while the
second is structurally complicated with multiple
embeddings.
54(3) Parallel structure
- In the selection, parallel structures could
be found, for example, interesting and
gratifying like the fairies pavilion and like
the same elastic pavilion and the more, the
more .
55(4) Cohesive device
- In terms of cohesive device, examples could
be found as follows I is repeatedly used with me
and my as partial repetitions pavilion is
repeated the vast institution is used to stand
for the press in America and this company.
56(5) Structural and lexical formality
- Structurally, the selection is formal in that
the sentences it contains are grammatically
complete and free from colloquial structures.
Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are
popularly used, for example, gentlemen,
circumstance, company, exceptionally,
interesting, gratifying, suppose, pavilion,
elastic, comprehending, multitude,
representative, entertainer, sentiment, and so
on.
572) Staged translation
- A) Translation 1 with comments
- B) Translation 2 with comments
- C) Translation 3 with comments
58A) Translation 1
- ??,???,????????,???????????????,???????????,
??????????????????????,????,???,????????????,???
??????,??,?????????????????,???????,??????????????
??????,???????????????????????????
59Comments
- The translation is, in some places, if not
all, a clumsy imitation of the original. For
example, even in the translated context, ??in the
first line and ??in the last are beyond
understanding. Actually, company here refers to
those working for newspapers and institution
means the private association of the working
members of the press of New York. In addition,
????,???,????????????,?????????is not well
organized.
60B) Translation 2
- ??,???,??????,??????,????????,?????????,???
?????????????,??????????????????,???,???????????,
?????????????,?????????,????????,??????,??????????
??????????,?????????????????????????
61Comments
- The present translation has found solutions
to all the problems discussed in the above
comments. In addition, unexpected improvements
have also been made by using such ready Chinese
expressions as????????????????????????????
????????????????,?????????????
?????????,????? ????????????????????????, etc.
However, this does not necessarily imply that
there is not any room for further improvement.
62C) Translation 3
- ??,???,????????,???????????,?????????,??????
???????????????,??????????????,????????,?????,??
???????????,????????,???????????,???????,?????????
??????,???????,??????????????????
63Comments
- The present translation has improved on the
previous when such expressions are employed
as???????? ??? ?????? ???? ???????
????????,?????,?????????? ????
???????,???????????????,??????? ???????, and
others. Consequently, it can be regarded as a
piece of authentic Chinese writing if the reader
is not informed of the fact that it is not the
original but a translation.
64Original 34
- Gentlemen, I henceforth charge myself, not
only here but on every suitable occasion
whatsoever and wheresoever, to express my high
and grateful sense of my second reception in
America, and to bear my honest testimony to the
national generosity and magnanimity. Also, to
declare how astounded I have been by the amazing
changes that I have seen around me on every side.
Nor am I, believe me, so arrogant as to suppose
that in five-and-twenty years there have been no
changes in me, and that I had nothing to learn
and no extreme impressions to correct when I was
here first.
651) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
66A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
67(1) Sentence structure
- The selection consists of three sentences, of
which the first is a simple sentence the second
is actually an infinitive phrase with I
henceforth charge myself omitted, but it consists
of an object clause with an attributive clause
embedded the third is a complex sentence,
composed of a main clause and two coordinate
adverbial clauses of consequence, of which the
second has an adverbial clause of time embedded.
68(2) Additional complication
- The first sentence has not only here but on
every suitable occasion whatsoever and
wheresoever embedded as a parenthesis the second
is not a sentence but an infinitive phrase
coordinate with to express my high and grateful
sense in the first sentence, but it has
obtained a sentential status and the third
sentence is inverted and has believe me embedded
as a parenthesis.
69(3) Notes
- In the first sentence, I henceforth charge
myself, not only here but on every suitable
occasion whatsoever and wheresoever, to express
my high and grateful sense of my second reception
in America, and to bear my honest testimony to
the national generosity and magnanimity could be
reduced to the essentials like that I charge
myself to express and to bear. In the third
sentence, nor am I is used in connection to
not only that goes before it. Also in the same
sentence, and that I had nothing to learn and no
extreme impressions to correct when I was here
first could be understood as a whole parallel to
that in five-and-twenty years there have been no
changes in me.
70B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
71(1) Periodicity
- The selection consists of three sentences, of
which the first is periodic in that it begins
with a vocative and has a parenthesis embedded.
The second can also be regarded as periodic for
the beginning with also, and so is the third for
the embedding of the parenthesis believe me.
72(2) Structural complication
- All the sentences are structurally
complicated to some extent. specifically, the
first sentence has two coordinate infinitive
phrases the second sentence has an attributive
clause embedded in the object clause and the
third sentence has two coordinate adverbial
clauses of consequence.
73(3) Parallel structure
- Parallel structures are frequently used, for
example, not only here but on every suitable
occasion whatsoever and wheresoever to
express, to bear and to declare high and
grateful generosity and magnanimity and that,
and that .
74(4) Cohesive device
- In terms of cohesive device, examples could
be found as follows parallel structures are
frequently used I is repeatedly used together
with me, my and myself as partial repetitions
national is used as a partial repetition for
America the word changes is repeated I charge
myself in the second sentence is omitted, and so
on.
75(5) Structural and lexical formality
- Structurally, the selection is formal in that
the sentences it contains are grammatically
complete and free from colloquial structures.
Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are
popularly used, for example, whatsoever,
wheresoever, reception, generosity, magnanimity,
astound, suppose, impression, etc.
762) Staged translation
- A) Translation 1 with comments
- B) Translation 2 with comments
- C) Translation 3 with comments
77A) Translation 1
- ???,??????,????????,?????,??????????,???????
?,????????,????????????????????????,??????????????
???????,????,???????????????????????????????,????,
????,???????????,???????,????????????,????????????
?,???????????
78Comments
- The translation of the first two sentences of
the original can be regarded as a good work,
although????????and????????are not very coherent
in their context. The translation of the second,
however, sounds exotic, especially by
putting??????????at the end of the translation.
79B) Translation 2
- ???,?????,????????,?????,??????????,????????
??,???????????,?????????????????????????,?????????
????????????,???????,?????????????????????????????
??,????????,???????????,??????,???????????????????
????????,???????????????
80Comments
- The present translation has improved on the
previous when the above-mentioned problems are
solved, although such expressions as???????is
still incongruous to some extent. Taking into
account the Chinese norms respecting the
translation at hand, however, much is still left
to be desired.
81C) Translation 3
- ???,????,????????,?????,????????????????????
??????????????,???????????????????????????,???????
,????,????????????,???????????,???????,???????????
????,????????????,?????????,????????????,????????
?????
82Comments
- The present translation has turned to
reorganizing and rewriting. For example, the
first two sentences in the original is now
translated into one with the emphatic expressions
whatsoever and wheresoever deleted and
????inserted. In translating the last sentence in
the original, the clause???????????????, ????????
is seemingly unjustifiably added but the ideas do
exist between the lines of the original. However,
by taking all these measures, the translation
sounds more readable, coherent and hence
authentic, since the redundant information,
though emphatic, is eliminated and the implied
meaning is made explicit.
83Original 35
- Gentlemen, the transition from my own
feelings towards and interest in America to those
of the mass of my countrymen seems to be natural
one but, whether or no, I make it with an
express object. I was asked in this very city,
about last Christmas time, whether an American
was not at some disadvantage in England as a
foreigner. The notion of an American being
regarded in England as a foreigner at all, of his
ever being thought of or spoken of in that
character, was so uncommonly incongruous and
absurd to me, that my gravity was, for the
moment, quite overpowered. As soon as it was
restored, I said that for years and years past I
hoped I had had as many American friends and had
received as many American visitors as almost any
Englishman living, and that my unvarying
experience, fortified by theirs, was that it was
enough in England to be an American to be
received with readiest respect and recognition,
anywhere.
841) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
85A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
- (4) Paraphrase
86(1) Sentence structure
- The selection consists of four sentences, of
which the first is a compound sentence, composed
of two coordinate clauses the second is a
complex sentence, composed of a main clause and
an object clause the third is again a complex
sentence, composed of a main clause and an
adverbial clause of consequence and the last is
a complicated complex sentence, composed of an
adverbial clause of time and a main clause, which
is in turn composed of a main clause and two
coordinate object clauses, of which the first has
another object clause further embedded and the
second has a predicative clause further embedded.
87(2) Additional complication
- The first sentence begins with a vocative and
has whether or no embedded as a parenthesis the
second sentence has a parenthesis embedded, that
is, about last Christmas time the third sentence
has at least for the moment embedded as a
parenthesis if of his ever being thought of or
spoken of in that character is not counted as
another and the last sentence begins with an
adverbial clause and has fortified by theirs
embedded as a parenthesis.
88(3) Notes
- In the first sentence, the transition from my
own feelings towards and interest in America to
those of the mass of my countrymen can be
simplified to the transition from A to B, meaning
changing from A into B. In the same sentence,
whether or no could be understood as whether or
not and make it means succeed in reaching. In
the third sentence the notion of an American
being regarded in England as a foreigner at all,
of his ever being thought of or spoken of in that
character can be understood in this manner the
notion of an American being regarded, the notion
of his ever being thought of or the notion of
his being spoken of, where in that character
means as a foreigner.
89Notes (continued)
- Andso uncommonly incongruous and absurd to
me, that my gravity was, for the moment, quite
overpowered can be simplified to so that the
main clause of the fourth sentence, I said that
for years and years past I hoped I had had as
many American friends and had received as many
American visitors as almost any Englishman
living, and that my unvarying experience,
fortified by theirs, can be simplified to I
said that and that. In it was enough in
England to be an American to be received with
readiest respect and recognition, anywhere in the
last sentence, it is the formal subject, and to
be received with is the real subject, and so the
whole lot can be rewritten into to be received
with was enough in England to be an American.
90(4) Paraphrase
- In the selection, it is unnecessary to
paraphrase the first two sentences and for easy
understanding, the last two sentences could be
roughly paraphrased as follows An American is
regarded as a foreigner in England, or is ever
thought of or spoken of as such. This notion
sounds extremely incongruous and absurd to me.
Consequently, I felt so grave for the moment as
to be overpowered. The moment I was restored to
normal, I said that for years and years in the
past, I wished that I had had as many American
friends and received as many American visitors as
any living Englishman. I also said that to be
received anywhere in England with readiest
respect and recognition was enough. And that is
my unvarying experience and that experience is
fortified by other Englishmens.
91B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
92(1) Periodicity
- All the sentences in the selection are
periodic in structure for the reason that the
first sentence begins with a vocative and has a
parenthesis embedded the second sentence has a
parenthesis embedded the third sentence has at
least one or at most two parentheses embedded
and the last sentence begins with an adverbial
clause and has a parenthesis embedded.
93(2) Structural complication
- All the four sentences are complicated in
structure for the embeddings, though the first is
a compound sentence.
94(3) Parallel structure
- Parallel structures are frequently used, for
example, feelings towards and interest in
whether or no of an American being regarded in
England as a foreigner at all, of his ever being
thought of or spoken of in that character
thought of or spoken of years and years I said
that and that had had as many American friends
and had received as many American visitors and
respect and recognition.
95(4) Cohesive device
- In terms of cohesive device, examples could
be found as follows parallel structures are
frequently used those is used to substitute for
feelings and interest American, England,
foreigner and years are repeated in that
character is used in connection with foreigner
and so on.
96(5) Structural and lexical formality
- Structurally, the selection is formal in that
the sentences it contains are grammatically
complete and free from colloquial structures.
Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are
popularly used, for example, incongruous, absurd,
overpower, unvarying, fortify, and others.
972) Staged translation
- A) Translation 1 with comments
- B) Translation 2 with comments
- C) Translation 3 with comments
98A) Translation 1
- ???,?????????????????????,???????????????,??
???????????????????,?????,?????????,???????,??????
?????????????????,???????????????????,????,????,??
??????????????????,?????????????????,????????,????
????????????????????????????????????????????,?????
????,??????,????????????????????,?????
99Comments
- On the whole, the above can be regarded as a
word-for-word or clause-for-clause translation,
for there are many expressions that sound
unauthentic such as ?????????????????????
?????????????? ??????? ???????????????????
????????????????????, and others. However, if we
should accept the tolerable incoherence, as Lu
Xun once advocated, the translation on the whole
is acceptable.
100B) Translation 2
- ???,?????????????????????????,??????????????
,??????????????????????,??????,?????,???????,?????
??????????????????,?????????????,????,????,???????
??????????????????????????????,????????,??????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????,????
??,????????????????????,?????
101Comments
- Parts of the weak points as mentioned in the
above comments are, to a large extent, improved
on when new expressions such as?? ???????????
??????? ????????????? ????????????? and others
are used as substitutes for the corresponding
parts in the previous translation.
??????????????????and????????????????????still
sound unauthentic and incongruous in the context.
102C) Translation 3
- ???,?????????????????????????,?????????????,??
????????????????,??????,?????,???????,????????????
??????????,?????????????,????,????,???????????????
?????????????????????,????,????????,??????????????
?????????????,?????????????????????????????????,??
???????,????,???????????????????,???????,?????????
??
103Comments
- In the first two sentences of the present
translation, minor adaptations can be witnessed.
However, from the third sentence on, drastic
adaptations are imposed such as?????????????
????? ????? ???? ???? ???????,?????????
???????????????????,???????,??????????, and
others. All the adaptations may deviate from the
original differently. However, they are justified
by the implied meanings in the original and in
the light of the context-triggered Chinese norms.
104Exercises
105Exercise 31
- Today, gentlemen, as I know that many among
you are interested in the land, and as I feel
that what is termed agricultural distress is at
the present moment a topic too serious to be
omitted from our consideration, I shall say some
words upon the subject of that agricultural
distress, and particularly because in connection
with it there have arisen in some quarters of the
country proposals, which have received a
countenance far beyond their deserts, to reverse
or to compromise the work which it took us one
whole generation to achieve, and to revert to the
mischievous, obstructive, and impoverishing
system of protection. - (William Ewart Glastone,
- On Domestic and Foreign Affairs)
106Exercise 32
- I beg leave to thank you for the extremely
kind and appreciative manner in which you have
received the toast of Science. It is the more
grateful to me to hear that toast proposed in an
assembly of this kind, because I have noticed of
late years a great and growing tendency among
those who were once jestingly said to have been
born in a pre-scientific age to look upon science
as an invading and aggressive force, which if it
had its own way would oust from the universe all
other pursuits. I think there are many persons
who look upon this new birth of our times as a
sort of monster rising out of the sea of modern
thought with the purpose of devouring the
Andromeda of art. - (Thomas Henry Luxley, Science and Art)
107Exercise 33
- Mr. Chairman and gentlemen of the Lolos Club,
- One might start a great many principles and
ideas which would require to be illustrated and
drawn out in order to present a picture of my
feelings at the present moment. I am conscious
that in my immediate vicinity there are people
who were great when I was little. I remember very
well when I was unknown to anybody, how I was
sent to report a lecture by my friend right
opposite, Mr. George Alfred Townsend, and I
remember the manner in which he said Galileo
said The world moves round, and the world does
move round, upon the platform of the Mercantile
Hall in St. Louis one of the grandest things
out. - (Henry Morton Stanley,
- Through the Dark Continent)
108Exercise 34
- Ladies and gentlemen,
- I shall have the pleasure of speaking to you
about certain traits of character of the people
of my nation. One of the first traits I shall
illustrate is their humor. We are, I hope, a
Christian people, but I am certain that our
Christianity has been tested a good many times by
that often-repeated proverb of Sidney Smiths,
that it takes a surgical operation to get a joke
into a Scotchmans head.
109Exercise 34 (continued)
- A recent writer, whom I cannot identify, and
whose name I do not want to know, denies that
there is anything in our humor that is light in
touch, delicate and graceful. He asserts instead
that there is much that is austere and awkward,
tiresome, and unpleasant. Now each nation takes
its own humor in its own way, some joyously, some
seriously, but none more conscientiously than the
Scotch. - (John Watson, Scottish Humor)
110Exercise 35
- Friends,
- I cannot help thinking tonight of the many
hundreds of meetings that have been held in this
country in defense of the principle of womens
enfranchisement. How many times have noble women
poured forth their very soul in an appeal for
political justice. How many times has such an
appeal been made, and made to ears that were deaf
and unheeding. It is well for us all to remember
that we are engaged in no new movement. There
were those who came before us, pioneers of forty
and fifty-six years ago, who began the agitation
for woman suffrage. They worked well, they worked
devotedly, and yet, after all those years of hard
work, women have not yet got the Parliamentary
vote. - (Miss Christabel Pankhurst, The Militant
Suffragette)
111???
112Original 36
- Hereupon, out of half-a-dozen people,
suddenly spoke out two, one an American
gentleman, with a cultivated taste for art, who,
finding himself on a certain Sunday outside the
walls of a certain historical English castle,
famous for its pictures, was refused admission
there, according to the strict rules of the
establishment on that day, but who, on merely
representing that he was an American gentleman,
on his travels, had, not to say the picture
gallery, but the whole castle, placed at his
immediate disposal.
1131) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
114A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
- (4) Paraphrase
115(1) Sentence structure
- The selection consists of a single complex
sentence, composed of a main clause and two
coordinate attributive clauses, of which the
second has an object clause further embedded.
116(2) Additional complication
- The sentence begins with an adverb followed
by a compound prepositional phrase the main
clause is in inverted order, whose normal order
should be two suddenly spoke out one an
American gentleman is an absolute nominal
construction, whose sentential version should be
one was an American gentleman. In the sentence,
the prepositional phrase at the beginning, with a
cultivated taste for art, famous for its
pictures, according to the strict rules of the
establishment on that day, on merely representing
that, on his travels, and not to say the picture
gallery, but the whole castle are parenthetic
structures, although the last one should
structurally be the object of the pattern have
placed at ones disposal.
117(3) Notes
- Hereupon out of half-a-dozen people, suddenly
spoke out two, means at this moment, two out of
half-a-dozen suddenly spoke out who, finding
himself on a certain Sunday outside the walls of
a certain historical English castle, famous for
its pictures, was refused admission there,
according to the strict rules of the
establishment on that day, but who, on merely
representing that he was an American gentleman,
on his travels, had, not to say the picture
gallery, but the whole castle, placed at his
immediate disposal can be reduced to the backbone
structure like this who was refused, but who
had not only the picture gallery but also the
whole castle placed at the phrase on merely
presenting that means as soon as he only told
them that the phrase not to say means not to
speak of, and the phrase not to say, butmeans
not only but also in the last two lines,
had, not to say the picture gallery, but the
whole castle, placed at his immediate disposal
can be reduced to had not only A but also B
placed at his immediate disposal.
118(4) Paraphrase
- To reduce possible understanding barriers, we
will paraphrase the selection as follows Just at
that moment, two people out of half a dozen spoke
out. Of the two, one was an American gentleman.
He said that on a certain Sunday he found himself
outside a certain historical English castle,
which is famous for its pictures. But he was not
allowed to enter, for according to the strict
rules, the castle would not open on that day.
However, he told them that he was an American and
was traveling in England. Immediately, he was let
in to see not only the picture gallery but also
the whole castle.
119B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
120(1) Periodicity
- The selection consists of a single complex
sentence, periodic in structure for the beginning
and the multiplication of parenthetic embeddings.
121(2) Structural complication
- The subject and the predicate of the main
clause are inverted and the sentence contains an
absolute nominal construction. All these features
point to the fact that the selection is
structurally very complicated.
122(3) Parallel structure
- Parallel structures could be found though not
frequently identifiable, for example, who, and
who, and not to say the picture gallery, but
the whole castle .
123(4) Cohesive device
- In terms of cohesive device, examples could
be found as follows parallel structures could be
found one and two are used in connection with
half-a-dozen American gentleman is used in
connection with half-a-dozen people walls,
castle, establishment, pictures, admission,
picture gallery are semantically related castle,
picture and American gentleman are repeated he
and his are repeatedly used to refer to the
American gentleman, and so on.
124(5) Structural and lexical formality
- Structurally, the selection is formal in that
the sentence it contains is grammatically
complete and free from colloquial structures.
Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are
popularly used, for example, gentleman,
cultivate, admission, establishment, represent,
immediate, disposal, etc.
1252) Staged translation
- A) Translation 1 with comments
- B) Translation 2 with comments
- C) Translation 3 with comments
126A) Translation 1
- ????,?????,?????????,??????,????????????????
?????????????????????,?????????????????,??????????
??????,?????????????,??????????,?????????????
127Comments
- In the above translation, some expressions
sound quite exotic, for example, ?????????
???????????????????????? ????????????. If we
say, the first two are understandable, the last
one lies beyond understanding. In addition, some
parts in the translation should be fronted, for
example, ?????????? ?????????????, and so on.
And of course, the inverted version is translated
into a normal version in accordance to Chinese
norms.
128B) Translation 2
- ????,?????,?????????????????,???,???????????
????????????????,?????????????,???????????,???????
???,?????????????,??????????,????????????????
129Comments
- In the translation, all the words and
sentences are in authentic Chinese except for
some minor points such as????? ???and so on. And
maybe the sentence??????????????????,??????????cou
ld be rearranged.
130C) Translation 3
- ????,?????????,?????????,????????,?????,????
???????????????????????????????????????????,??????
?,???????????,?????????????,?????,?????,??????????
???????
131Comments
- The present translation is much improved on
the previous in that a great many authentic
expressions are employed as substitutes for the
previous corresponding parts. Among them
are????????? ????? ???????????????????????
??????? ????? ??????and others. Consequently,
the translation is much more readable, coherent
and authentic, even sounding like a piece of
Chinese writing, about what happened in a foreign
environment, though.
132Original 37
- The other was lady, who, being in London, and
having a great desire to see the famous
reading-room of British Museum, was assured by
the English family with whom she stayed that it
was unfortunately impossible, because the place
was closed for a week, and she had only three
days there. Upon that ladys going to the Museum,
as she assured me, alone to the gate,
self-introduced as an American lady, the gate
flew open, as it were, magically.
1331) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
134A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
135(1) Sentence structure
- The selection consists of two sentences, of
which the first is a complex sentence, composed
of a main clause, an attributive clause, an
object clause and an adverbial clause of reason,
which is composed of two coordinate clauses, and
there is an attributive clause embedded in the
prepositional phrase by the English family . The
second is also a complex sentence, composed of an
adverbial clause of reason and a main clause with
a parenthetic clause embedded near the end of the
sentence.
136(2) Additional complication
- Between the subject and the predicate of the
first attributive clause in the first sentence,
there is a parenthetic structure embedded and
the second sentence begins with a prepositional
phrase and has as she assured me, alone to the
gate, self-introduced as an American lady, and as
it were embedded as parentheses.
137(3) Notes
- Who, being in London, and having a great
desire to see the famous reading-room of British
Museum, was assured by the English family with
whom she stayed that it was unfortunately
impossible, because the place was closed for a
week, and she had only three days there could be
reduced into a backbone structure like this who
was assured that .
138B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
139(1) Periodicity
- The two sentences are both periodic in
structure for the reason that the first sentence
has a parenthetic structure embedded while the
second sentence begins with a prepositional
phrase in addition to the embedding of a number
of parentheses.
140(2) Structural complication
- The two sentences in the selection are
grammatically complicated for their complexity
and the embedding of parentheses.
141(3) Parallel structure
- In the selection, parallel structures are
used, for example, being in London, and having a
great desire and the place was closed for a
week, and she had only three days there.
142(4) Cohesive device
- In terms of cohesive device, examples could
be found as follows parallel structures are
used lady and Museum are repeated she is
repeatedly used to stand for lady, American lady
or the lady three days and a week are used in
contrast the famous reading-room is used as part
of the British Museum, and so on.
143(5) Structural and lexical formality
- Structurally, the selection is formal in that
the sentences it contains are grammatically
complete and free from colloquial structures.
Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are
popularly used, for example, assure,
unfortunately, introduce, magically, etc., since
all these words are frequently used nowadays.
1442) Staged translation
- A) Translation 1 with comments
- B) Translation 2 with comments
- C) Translation 3 with comments
145A) Translation 1
- ???????,???,?????????????????????????,??????
???,???,??????,??,????????,???????????????????,???
????,????????,?????,?????????????????,????,???????
???
146Comments
- The first sentence of the translation is well
rendered. However, the second could be
reorganized and the third should also go through
the process of reorganization. For example,
????could be fronted ?????????sounds incongruous
in the context.
147B) Translation 2
- ???????,?????????????????????????????,??????
???,????,??????????,??????????,???????????????????
?,???????,?????????,?????,?????????????????????,??
????????
148Comments
- The translation sounds much better now,
except for perhaps the very last clause, although
other places could be further improved in
accordance with Chinese norms. For example,
???????sounds abrupt ????,??????????,??????????,?
??????????sounds a little colloquial, and so on.
149C) Translation 3
- ????????????????,???????????????????????????
??,????,???????,???????????,???????????????,??????
???,???,??????,??????????????,???????????,????????
?????????????
150Comments
- The translation is drastically different from
the previous when????????? ?? ?? ?????? ???
?????? ????are seemingly unjustifiably
inserted, when ???? ?????? ???????? and others
are substituted for the corresponding parts in
the previous translation. Consequently, it sounds
more like a piece of writing than a translation.
However, all the ideas could be found in the
original, though some of them are between the
lines.
151Original 38
- Now, gentlemen, I refer to these trifles as
collateral assurance to you that the Englishmen
who shall humbly strive, as I hope to do, to be
in England as faithful to America as to England
herself, have no previous conceptions to contend
against. Points of difference there have been,
points of difference there are, points of
difference there probably always will be between
the two great peoples.
152Original 38 (continued)
- But broadcast in England is sown the sentiment
that those two peoples are essentially one, and
that it rests with them jointly to uphold the
great Anglo-Saxon race, to which our president
has referred, and all its great achievements
before the world. And if I know anything of my
countrymen and they give me credit for knowing
something if I know anything of my countrymen,
gentlemen, the English heart is stirred by the
fluttering of those Stars and Stripes, as it is
stirred by no other flag that flies except its
own.
1531) Analysis of the original
- A) Grammatical analysis
- B) Stylistic analysis
154A) Grammatical analysis
- (1) Sentence structure
- (2) Additional complication
- (3) Notes
155(1) Sentence structure
- The selection consists of four sentences, of
which the first is a complex sentence, composed
of a main clause, and an appositive clause, which
in turn is composed of a main clause and an
attributive clause with a parenthetic clause
embedded. The second is a compound sentence,
composed of three coordinate clauses.
156Sentence structure (continued)
- The third is a complex sentence, composed of a
main clause and two coordinate appositive
clauses, the second of which has an attributive
clause embedded. The fourth is again a complex
clause, composed of a conditional clause, which
is then repeated, and a main clause with an
adverbial clause of manner embedded.
157(2) Additional complication
- The first sentence begins with an adverb and
a vocative, and has a parenthetic clause
embedded in the third sentence, the great
Anglo-Saxon race and all its great achievements
before the world are in coordination and in the
fourth sentence, between the two conditional
clauses, there is a clause in between, that is,
and they give me credit for knowing something.
158(3) Notes
- In the first sentence, the Englishmen who
shall humbly strive, as I hope to do, to be in
England as faithful to America as to England
herself, have no previous conceptions to contend
against can be reduced into the backbone
structure like this the Englishmen have no
previous conceptions to contend against in I
refer to these trifles as collateral assurance to
you that, the that clause is in apposition to
assurance in the third sentence, is sown means
is sowing the sentiment is followed by two
appositive clauses that these two peoples, and
that it rests with them in it rests with them
jointly to uphold, to uphold is the real subject
and it the formal subject.
159B) Stylistic analysis
- (1) Periodicity
- (2) Structural complication
- (3) Parallel structure
- (4) Cohesive device
- (5) Structural and lexical formality
160(1) Periodicity
- Three of the four sentences in the selection
are periodic in that the first sentence begins
with an adverb and a vocative, and has a
parenthetic clause embedded the third sentence
has a parenthetic attributive clause embedded
and the fourth sentence begins with two
conditional clauses with a parenthetic clause
embedded in between.
161(2) Structural complication
- 3 out of 4 are complex sentences and 3 out
of 4 are periodic sentences.
162(3) Parallel structure
- Parallel structures are frequently used for
instance, as faithful to America as to England
herself points of difference there have been,
points of difference there are, points of
difference there probably always will be between
the two great peoples that those two peoples are
essentially one, and that it rests with them
jointly to uphold the great Anglo-Saxon
race,and all its great achievements and the
English heart is stirred, as it is stirred . - In the selection, some structures are
repeated or partially repeated, for example,
points of difference there have been, points of
difference there are, points of difference there
probably always will be and if I know anything
of my countrymen.
163