Problem Solving, Decision Making, Negotiation and Compromise

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Problem Solving, Decision Making, Negotiation and
Compromise

• Nurturing Parenting
• Section 10.2
• GOAL
• Increase abilities in problem solving and
  decision making.

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OBJECTIVES

• To Teach parents a process in resolving problems.
• To enhance communication skills.
• To empower parents to resolve family conflicts

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• For the next hour we learn two very important
  skills in communication
• Problem solving and negotiation
• When parents and children both have a different
  ideas on what to do, what to wear, when to come
  home, etc., conversations usually reach an
  impasse.
• When this happens, both parties feel frustrated
  and the discussion often leads to arguments. To
  reach a settlement while leaving both parties
  with power is the goal. Problem solving and
  negotiation will leave both parents and children
  feeling satisfied.

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• Problem solving.
• What to do when you have a problem but dont know
  what the solution is.
• Decision Making.
• What you do when you know what your alternatives
  are.

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Problem Solving

• Problem solving can be a person process or a
  family process. To reach a point of action in
  solving problems, both personal and family,
  certain steps need to be followed. Identify a
  problem and model how the process can work.
• Each parent identify an issue that is currently a
  problem between them and their children. Pick
  one of these to do the process together.

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Problem Solving Process

• Identify the problem Write it down for you and
  family members to see. Have the group gain a
  consensus concerning the problem. Is this the
  real problem?
• Determine Ownership of the problem Is someone
  doing something you dont approve of but does not
  see the behavior as a problem.

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Problem Solving Process (cont.)

• Discuss what you have tried Talk with the person
  involved with the problem and review past efforts
  on solving the problem. Remember to use I
  statements rather than blaming You Messages.
• Write down a goal statement What behavior do you
  want to see? This is the critical step and
  perhaps the most difficult of them all. If it is
  a family members problem, tell them the behavior
  you would like to see instead. Discuss the
  behavior you would like to see , and make sure
  the behavior is reasonable and attainable. Do not
  identify what you do not what to see, but
  identify what you want to see.

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Problem Solving Process (cont.)

• Brainstorm ways to achieve what you would like to
  see instead Whether it is your problem or some
  elses problem, brainstorm ways to achieve the
  desired behavior. This is an important step in
  the problem-solving process.
• Make a decision From your brainstorming pick
  out your favorite possibilities to resolve the
  problem and make a consensus decision on which
  one is the best approach to resolving the problem.

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Decision Making When it is not obvious

• From the brainstorming ideas, the decision ought
  to be clear. If not, check the problem statement
  and the goal statement to make certain they are
  still accurate reflections of what you mean. If
  the problem still exits, begin the process with
  step 1 again.
• When the problem solving process does not resolve
  the issue, family members utilize negotiation and
  compromise. Compromise and negotiations is use
  extensively in our society to resolve issues.
• What does negotiate and compromise mean? Where is
  it used? Sports, Governments, Unions, etc.

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Steps in Negotiating

• Step 1 When asking for something or stating a
  view, first determine if there is a difference of
  opinion between you and the other party. If
  there is continue to the next step.
• Step 2 State your views and what you think the
  views of the other person are. Remember to
  confront, not criticize, and to use I
  statements, not blaming You Statements.

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Steps in Negotiating (cont.)

• Step 3 Ask the person if your impression of the
  problem, and your understanding of their views,
  are accurate. Listen openly to their views. Do
  not walk away, or argue, but listen. Remember
  their views are equally as valid as yours.
• Step 4 Offer a compromise. Be sure to take into
  account their views, as well as your own. Keep
  negotiating until an agreement is reached.

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Example of Negotiation and Compromise

• Step 1 A difference of opinion.
• Mom Son, you and I seem to disagree on what
  time we should establish your curfew.
• Step 2 State your views and the views of the
  other person.
• Mom I believe curfew should be 9 oclock at
  night on weekday. In my opinion, that gives you
  plenty of time with your friends.
• However, you feel that you should be able to
  stay out until 10 oclock because youre the only
  one coming in early.
• Step 3

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Example of Negotiation and Compromise (cont.)

• Step 3 Get clarity.
• Mom Am I understanding what the problem is?
• Son Yes, precisely. Im the only one in the
  whole world who has to be home at 9 oclock.
• Step 4 Compromise. Offer choices.
• Mom I can see how you might feel a little
  funny being the only one coming in at 9 oclock.
  Tell you what, how about 915?
• Son Still too early. How about 945 PM?
• Mom Too late. How about if we compromise (Split
  the difference) 930 pm?
• Son OK. 930 PM. Other kids have to be in
  too.
• Step 3

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Lets Practice Negotiation and Compromise

• Form up in pairs and decide an issue or
  difference of opinion.
• One partner be the parent and the other be the
  child.
• Negotiate and Compromise on the issue.
• Switch places and resolve another difference of
  opinion.