THE EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

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THE EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

• ON CHILDREN

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• THIS CHILD
• God gave this child to you, to guide
• To love, to walk through life beside.
• A little child so full of charms
• To fill a pair of loving arms
• God picked you out
• Because He knew
• How safe His child
• Would be with you.
• -Unknown

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• If the family household is a nightmare for abused
  women,
• it is even more of a nightmare
• for the children.

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• For any child living in violence the basic need
  for a safe, secure home goes unmet.
• Children of battered women are victims,
  regardless of whether or not they are direct
  recipients of violent acts.

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• Between 50 and 75 of male batterers also abuse
  their children.
• 40 of suspected child abuse also includes a
  history of domestic violence.
• 25 of victims of domestic violence are pregnant
  women.
• 70 of children in domestic violence shelters
  are neglected or abused.
• 80 of runaways come from homes where domestic
  violence occurs

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• 63 of boys, ages 11 to 20, arrested for
  homicide, have been arrested for killing their
  mothers abuser.
• 70 of men in court-ordered treatment for
  domestic violence witnessed it as a child

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For Girls

• Girls from homes with domestic violence are 6.5
  times more likely to be sexually assaulted
• more likely to become pregnant as a teen
• More likely to have adult abusive relationships

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FOR BOYS

• 4 times more likely to abuse in dating
  relationships
• 25 times more likely to commit rape as an adult
• 6 times more likely to commit suicide
• have a 74 greater chance of committing crimes
  against others
• 1,000 times more likely to commit violent acts
  against an adult partner or their own children

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TO DIVORCE OR NOT DIVORCE .WHAT HAPPENS TO THE
CHILDREN

• You only have to visit a domestic violence
  shelter to know that even children who are afraid
  of their abusive fathers miss them terribly.
• Separation anxiety for any child is traumatic.
  For children in abusive households it brings
  unique challenges and pain.

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• Reports by battered women indicate that
• 87 of children witness the abuse.
• Events can be witnessed in many ways
• hearing mothers screams or crying
• hearing the batterers threats
• hearing glass breaking or wood splintering
• seeing torn clothing or injuries on the mother
• seeing broken furniture
• seeing wounded animals
• seeing the actual abuse

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• Children who witness abuse suffer
• extreme emotional trauma and react
• with shock, fear, and guilt.

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Childrens lives are frequently disrupted by
moves to escape domestic violence.

• lose time at school
• leave home without taking books, money, or
  clothing and favorite toys
• Live in Shelter with strangers
• Constantly moving between family members
• Live in Homeless Shelters

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HOW CHILDREN LIVING IN VIOLENT HOMES FEEL

• POWERLESS, because they cant stop the violence.
• CONFUSED, because it doesnt make sense
• ANGRY, because it shouldnt be happening.
• GUILTY, because they think theyve done
  something wrong.
• SAD, because its a loss.
• AFRAID, because they may be hurt, they may lose
  someone they love, others may find out.
• ALONE, because they think its only happening to
  them.

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CHARACTERISTICS OF CHILDRENLIVING IN VIOLENT
HOMES

• Children raised in violent homes learn many
  lessons
• they learn how to keep family secrets
• they learn how to get what they want
  through aggression and manipulation
• they learn that people who love you, hurt you
• they learn that violence, although painful, is an
  
• acceptable part of life

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• Childrens responses to living with violence will
  vary according to their age, gender, stage of
  development, and role in the family. Many other
  factors play a part as well
• extent of the violence
• frequency of the violence
• repeated separations and moves
• socioeconomic status
• special needs of the children

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GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS

• Regardless of the age, children living with
  domestic violence tend to have a strong sense of
  isolation and helplessness.
• Their initial method of solving problems is by
  hitting.

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• They suffer from an extremely high level of
  anxiety and tend to have developmental delays.
• As the children mature, their sympathy for the
  mother may be replaced by overt hostility.

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• Normally, the family plays a crucial role in
  protecting children from traumatization and
  assisting in recovery when necessary . . .
• .Children of violent families, however, are
  traumatized because of the family environment.

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SIGNS

• PRE-NATAL
• increased miscarriages due to increased beatings
  and/or Mothers stress
• poor health due to mothers stress and lack of
  proper nutrition

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INFANTS

• - crying and irritability
• - sleep disturbances
• - digestive problems

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Toddlers/Pre-School

• more aggressive than other children, or
• more withdrawn than other children
• impaired cognitive abilities
• delays in verbal development
• poor motor abilities
• general fearfulness, anxiety
• stomach aches
• nightmares
• lack of bowel/bladder control over 3 years old
• lack of confidence to begin new tasks

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School Age

• poor grades, or in special classes (SLD, EH)
• failure of one or more grade levels
• poor social skills
• low self-esteem
• general aggressiveness
• violent outbursts of anger
• bullying, or withdrawn, dependent
• bed wetting
• nightmares
• digestive problems, ulcers
• headaches (not related to eye strain/sinus)

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Teens

• poor grades, failure in school
• low self-esteem
• refuses to bring friends home
• stays away from home, or
• feels responsible for taking care of
  mother/siblings
• Runaway/truancy
• violent outbursts of anger, destroying property
• poor judgement, irresponsible decision making
• unable to communicate feelings

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• withdrawn, few friends
• nightmares
• ulcers, digestive problems
• bedwetting
• headaches
• severe acne
• males hitting their girlfriends
• females being hit by their boyfriends
• joining in on beatings of mother
• early sexual acting out
• attempted or completed suicide

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INFANTS

• An infant who is raised in a violent family has
  the basic need for attachment to the mother
  seriously disrupted. Routines around sleeping
  and feeding may be anything but normal.

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• The abused mother may not be able to handle the
  stressful demands of her infant. This distancing
  is recognized by the child and causes serious
  separation anxiety.
• Many victims are forced to be negligent in taking
  care of the childs needs due to the demands of
  the abuser, depression, etc.

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POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER IN CHILDREN

• MANY CHILDREN TREATED
• FOR ADHD
• MAY IN FACT HAVE PTSD
• FROM LIVING WITH ABUSE

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OTHER WAYS ABUSERS ABUSE

• Children used as instruments of revenge are a
  tragic reality in abusive relationships.

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• In most states, divorce and custody issues do not
  take into account the psychological, emotional or
  verbal abuse of children.
• Unless there has been documented physical abuse
  of a child (and sometimes not even then), the
  perpetrator will receive at least partial custody
  of his children, regardless of documented reports
  of violence perpetrated against his partner.

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OPTIONS FOR VICTIMS

• Divorce, in which case the abuser will have
  partial custody of the children. This sets up a
  situation where she by law must let the abuser
  have the children, possibly putting them in
  danger, and keeps the mother in a constant state
  of fear while they are with him.
• Stay with the abuser, take the abuse, and try to
  protect her children as best she can.

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• Custody transfers also offer the possibility of
  further abuse of the victim, either verbally,
  physically or both .in the presence of the
  children.
• Many abusers use the children as weapons against
  their former partners. Children are not picked
  up or returned at previously set times. Often
  the abuser threatens to take them away
  permanently by simply disappearing with the
  children or by legal means.

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• According to one study, 5 of abusive fathers
  threaten during visitation to kill the mother,
  34 threaten to kidnap their children, and 25
  threaten to hurt their children.

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• Despite the perception that mothers always win
  custody cases, studies show that fathers who
  contest custody win sole or joint custody in 40
  70 of cases.

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Why?

• The man usually has more funds to amass lengthy
  legal/custody battles
• (the victim may not have worked for some time or
  is in a lower paying job and simply cannot afford
  the expense of representation or time off work to
  combat the legal attack.)

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• Children used as instruments of revenge are a
  tragic reality in abusive relationships.

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Why dont abused women report abuse of their
children by their partners?

• Retaliation from abuser
• Under the current system, the mothers will also
  be blamed for failure to protect and are in
  danger of losing their children
• Not enough physical evidence to convince that
  cant be explained away

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What about abused women who then turn their
abuse on their own children?

• Some mothers will take over the physical
  discipline of their children to protect them from
  more severe punishment by the abuser.
• Many of these women grew up in homes where they
  were physically punished and do not consider it
  wrong.
• Some abused women become abusive to their
  children as a result of a direct order from the
  abuser to avoid violent behavior or prove their
  loyalty to him as their primary concern.
• Frustration from lack of coping skills with
  relationship violence.
• When you live in violence you learn violence.

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EMOTIONAL ABUSE

• Emotional abuse is commonly defined as a pattern
  of behavior that can seriously interfere with a
  childs positive emotional development.

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• Emotional abuse is an assault on the childs
  psyche, just as physical abuse is an assault on
  the childs body.

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• Constant rejection of a child
• Terrorizing
• Refusal to provide basic nurturance
• Refusal to get help for a childs psychological
  problems
• Failure to provide the physical or mental
  stimulation that a child needs to grow
• Exposing a child to corruption including criminal
  behavior, drug abuse, etc.

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• Because of the difficulty in defining emotional
  abuse, we must be very careful not to lump all
  negative parental attitudes and/or actions under
  the category of emotional maltreatment.
• Even the best of parents have occasions when they
  have lost control and said hurtful things to
  their children, ignored them during a time when
  attention needs were critical, or unintentionally
  scared them.

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IMPORTANT NUMBERS

• LEGAL DEPARTMENT LEE MEMORIAL
• 239-334-5382
• ABUSE COUNSELING AND TREATMENT, INC. (ACT)
• 239-939-3112

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The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

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