Courtly Love

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Courtly Love
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Traditions of Courtly Love

• Courtly love motifs
• love for a married person
• seemingly unattainable
• exquisite behavior by all lovers
• total self-sacrifice of wife
• Romance motifs
• adventures
• travels
• battles

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Courtly Love as a Secret

• Sometimes Courtly Love was kept as a secret
  between the lovers, a pact where the man could
  gain favor in the court of the Lord by providing
  a service to the lady.

• And she repeated her petition and pleaded anew,
• And he granted it, and gladly she gave him the
  belt,
• And besought him for her sake to conceal it well,
• Lest the noble lord should know and, the knight
  agrees
• That not a soul save themselves shall see it
  thenceforth with sight.
• (pg. 200, Gawain with lady)

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Traditions cont.

• In feudalism the vassal is the "man" of his
  sovereign lord in courtly love, the vassal is
  the "man" of his sovereign mistress (Delahoyde).
  Relates to the ideas of worshiping a woman
  compared to god/cross/church.
• Courtly love was based on the idea that a knight
  would try to better his lifestyle by winning the
  heart of a noble lady of a higher rank than he.
  This parallels the concept of the American Dream.
• When the husband (King or Lord) was away on a war
  or crusade, other knights of the region would
  attempt to court the Lady as she was head of
  political affairs at this time.

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Traditions cont.

• In the stories the sexual conquest of a woman
  was not the central goal. While her looks may
  have been given in detail, and supported her
  beauty, power and political gain were what the
  knights would seeks, along with this romanticized
  idea of true love. 

• From Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
• The two eyes and the nose, the naked lips,
• And they unsightly to see, and sorrily bleared.
• A beldame, by God, she may well be deemed, of
  pride!
• She was short and thick of waist,
• Her buttocks round and wide
• More toothsome, to his taste,
• Was the beauty by her side.
• (pg. 182)

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Modern Love vs. Courtly Love

• Similarities
• Guy pursues girl
• Guy impresses girls
• Looks are emphasized
• Girls are weaker that they need a man/ rescued
  (ex Disney Movies)
• Romanticized idea of love at first sight
  (common among movies and stories)

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Modern Love vs. Courtly Love

• Differences
• Marry for status, now marry for love love is
  more emphasized now
• Societal expectations are different now women
  can pursue men (ex pay for dates and such)
• Status doesn't matter, more of winning for
  personal satisfaction (ex playboy idea)

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Quote from Sir Gawain

• By heaven, said he, you have answered well,
• But threats never throve among those of my land,
• Nor any gift not freely given, good though it be.
• I am yours to command, to kiss when you please
• You may lay on as you like, and leave off at
  will.
• (pg. 193, Gawain to lady)

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Criticism

• Seen as anti-feminist but not 100 true, while
  women were objectified to some level (placed on a
  pedestal of sorts for male desire) the man often
  admitted how powerless he was in situations
  relating to her and how he could not control
  himself. In true situations of Courtly Love the
  woman would be shown in higher positions of
  power, than say, Beowulf...where they merely are
  shown as servants of sorts or peace-weavers .