Chapter 4 style and Tone

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Chapter 4 style and Tone

• Style is the way you use words to achieve a
  certain tone,or overall impression.
• Business Writing Style
• After you have written your document, ask
  yourself these questions
• Word Choice
• Will my reader immediately understand each word?
• Did I use jargon(??), abbreviations?

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Were they appropriate and understandable?

• Did I use connecting/transitional words to move
  my reader through the message? (See page 43-44)
• Did I avoid cliches?(See page 26-28)
• Did I eliminate any weak verbs or
  phrases?(examplesbe,have,do)

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sentences

• Did I use a variety of sentence lengths?
• Is the average sentence length approximately
  15-18 words?
• Are most of my sentences in the active voice?
• Were negative findings reported in passive voice
  sentences?
• Is good news in short sentences,bad news in
  longer sentences?

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Example

• 1. This year, after a careful fine-tuning of our
  budget, we were able to reduce our administrative
  costs by a grand total of 300,000.
• BetterThis year we saved 300,000 in
  administrative costs.
• 2. The report will be a week late.
• Better The report will be a week late, but it
  will include the latest figures.

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Appearance (??)

• Is the size and font of the typeface easy to
  read?(???????)
• Is there plenty of white space?(?????)
• Did I bold and underline appropriate words only?
  (??????????/???)
• Did I break up large chunks of copy with
  subheads?(?????????????)

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Tone?? is best thought of as the attitude that
shows

• Through a communication.
• Example It is with our deepest and sincerest
  good wishes that we hereby wish to acknowledge
  receipt of the news that you have been appointed
  vice-president of your company.

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Better Congratulations. We hear you are the new
vice-

• President of IBM.
• We use different tones in different situations
• 1.Formal Tone annual reports technical reports
  formal minutes(??????)
• 2.Semiformal letters memosreportswriting
  upward(????)
• 3.Informal letters(to longtime
  associates/friends) memosemails

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How do you label tones in the following 4
sentences?

• Choose A.formal toneB.informal tone
  C.semiformal tone D.cold tone
• 1. Please find enclosed documents regarding the
  credit-card project for your perusal. Your verbal
  analysis is required at the meeting scheduled for
  next Monday.

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• 2. A report on the credit-card project is
  attached for your review. We would appreciate
  hearing your observations at next Mondays
  meeting.
• 3. Please review the attached credit-card report.
  We look forward to hearing your comments at next
  Mondays meeting.
• 4. Here is the credit-card report. Let us know
  what you think at Mondays meeting.

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Key1.cold tone 2. Formal tone 3. Semiformal tone

• 4. Informal tone
• Dont use shortened form of a word such as
  dont, cant, wont,its in formal reports.
• Formal tone The committee has not yet reached a
  decision.
• Semiformal The committee hasnt reached a
  decision yet.
• Informal The committee hasnt decided yet.

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Chapter 4 ---continued

• Summary of key points of Chapter 4
• You-attitude is a style of writing which looks at
  things from the readers point of view,
  emphasizing what the reader wants to
  know,respecting the readers intelligence,and
  protecting the readers ego.
• To apply you-attitude, use the following five
  principles

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1. Focus on what the reader receives or can do.
In positive or

• Neutral situations, stress what the readers
  wants to know.
• 2. Be specific about the readers request or
  order.
• 3. Dont presume that you know how the reader
  feels or will react.
• 4. Dont talk about your own feelings unless
  youre sure the reader wants to know how you
  feel.

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5.In negative situations, avoid the

• Word you. Protect the readers ego. Use
  impersonal expressions and passive verbs to avoid
  assigning blame.
• Apply you-attitude beyond the sentence level by
  using organization and content as well as style
  to build goodwill.
• Positive emphasis means focusing on the positive
  rather than the negative aspects of a situation.

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De-emphasize negative information by using the
five

• Techniques
• 1. Eliminate negative words and words with
  negative connotations.(see page 77)
• 2. State information positively. Focus on what
  the reader can do rather than on what you wont
  or cant let the reader do.
• 3. Justify negative information by giving a
  reason or linking it to a reader benefit.

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4. If the negative is truly unimportant, omit it.

• 5. Bury the negative information and present it
  compactly.
• Success-consciousness allows you to project a
  tone of confidence in yourself, your products and
  services,and your organization.
• To develop success-consciousness in your writing,
  you should

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1. Eliminate words which express doubt.(page 84)

• 2. Eliminate words which imply that the reader
  may not be satisfied.
• 3. Eliminate words that suggest you may not have
  expressed yourself clearly or convincingly.
• Reader benefits are benefits or advantages that
  the reader gets by using the writers services,
  buying the writers products, following the
  writers policies, or adopting the writers ideas.

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Reader benefits can exist for policies and ideas
as well as for

• Goods and services. Reader benefits tell readers
  that they can do the job and that success will be
  rewarded.
• To create reader benefits, you should
• 1. Identify the feelings, fears, and needs that
  may motivate your reader.
• 2. Identify the objective features of your
  product or policy that could meet the needs
  youve identified.

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3. Show how the reader can meet

• His or her needs with the features of the policy
  or product.
• You-attitude, positive emphasis, and
  success-consciousness are primarily matters of
  style. Reader benefits are content you write or
  talk about reader benefits using you-attitude and
  positive emphasis.

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Revise this letter with simple words and right
tone

• Dear Sir
• This is to acknowledge your message dated April
  10 concerning the above referenced billing error.
  Upon checking our records, we found that the
  invoice should indeed read as US125.00 instead
  of US225.00. We apologize for this oversight and
  attach herewith the correct invoice. Thank you in
  advance for your kind consideration we remain.
• Sincerely yours,(53 words)

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Model Answer

• Dear Sir
• Thank you for your message of April 10. We have
  confirmed that the invoice should read as
  US125.00 and not US225.00. We are sorry for
  this error and have enclosed/have attached/will
  mail/will fax a corrected invoice for US125.oo.
• Sincerely yours, (35 words)