Passive Voice vs. Active Voice

1
Passive Voice vs. Active Voice

• Passive voice places the subject after the thing
  being acted upon.
• The ball was thrown by him.
• Change to
• He threw the ball.

2
Change to Active Voice!

• There were a great number of leaves covering the
  ground.
• At dawn the crowing of a rooster could be heard.
• The reason he left college was that his health
  became impaired.
• It was not long before she was very sorry that
  she had said what she said.

3
Correct Answers

• Dead leaves covered the ground.
• We heard the rooster crow at dawn.
• Failing health forced him to leave college.
• She soon repented her words.
• Usually sentences that are SHORTER are STRONGER.

4
Positive Form

• Avoid language that shows hesitation.
• Do NOT use the word NOT as a way to avoid making
  a direct statement.
• The lunch menu was not small.
• What makes this a poor sentence?

5
Change to Positive Form!

• He was not on time very often.
• She did not think studying history was a good use
  of time.
• Shakespeare does not portray the Montague and
  Capulet parents as admirable characters.

6
Correct Answers!

• He usually came late.
• She thought studying history was a waste of time.
• The parents in Romeo and Juliet are deeply flawed.

7
Use Definite, Specific, and Concrete Language!

• Think specific, not general!
• Think definite, not vague!
• Think concrete, not abstract!
• The car had many problems that forced it to run
  poorly.
• Not as good as -
• The car ran poorly as a result of its crippled
  engine, aging transmission, and faulty brakes.

8
Revise Language in Sentences!

• A period of unfavorable weather set in.
• He showed satisfaction as he took possession of
  his well-earned reward.

9
Correct Answers!

• It rained everyday for a week.
• He grinned as he pocketed the money.

10
Omit Needless Wording!

• Just like a painting should contain no
  unnecessary lines, and a machine no unnecessary
  parts, a sentence should contain no unnecessary
  words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences.
• This does not mean that sentences must be short
  or lacking in detail. Rather, every sentence is
  crafted with purpose and wastes no time in making
  a point.

11
Expressions to Avoid!

• The question as to whether
• There is no doubt that
• He is a man who
• In a hasty manner
• This is the subject that
• Her story is a strange one
• The reason why is that
• In spite of the fact that
• The fact that I had arrived
• Seems to be
• What could you change in these expressions to
  make them more concise?

12
Correct Answers!

• Whether
• Doubtless
• He
• Hastily
• This subject
• Her story is strange
• Because
• Since
• Although
• My arrival
• is

13
Apply the Rules!

• Wordiness often happens when you present a
  complex idea, step by step, in a series of
  sentences that might be combined into one.

14
Revise!

• Macbeth was very ambitious. This made him to
  wish to become King of Scotland. The witches
  told him that this wish would come true. The
  King of Scotland at the time was Duncan.
  Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered King
  Duncan. Macbeth became King. (44 words)

15
Correct Answer!

• Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his
  ambition and realized the prediction of the
  witches by murdering Duncan and becoming King of
  Scotland in his place. (26 words)