Managing%20Yourself

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Managing Yourself

• Linda Denny

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Introduction

• Two topics
• Managing your time to be more personally
  effective
• Managing your communication so that you feel
  confident to change things

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Setting the Scene

• I never get thanked when it all goes smoothly
  only when something goes wrong. I am not really
  valued.
• Teachers and Heads use their authoritarian style
  with me and Im an adult not a student! This does
  not make for easy conversations.
• Each year it seems to get more complex, we are
  expected to do more. Where do I find more time?
• I dont know if we have any ex-teachers in the
  room? But you may feel Teaching staff do not
  treat you as an equal. You are now support
  staff, even though you may have once been a
  Teacher! It makes you feel like a second class
  citizen.

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Managing your time to be more personally effective

• How to set priorities. Is everything important?
• Overcoming procrastination. How to get started
  and when to ask for help.
• How to feel resourceful when under pressure when
  theres that sense of I cannot do any more and...
  lastly....
• Our focus on getting things wrong because that is
  what others at school or college notice. Instead
  we will look at Success tracking

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1. Setting priorities. How do we know what to
spend our time on?

• Can we do more? Are there more hours in the day?
  Assuming we dont want to increase our working
  day further then we must work differently. How do
  we do this? Be clear about the absolute
  priorities, what are the must haves, should
  haves and nice to haves
• Big rocks example
• Urgent versus Important Handout
• Know what your distractions are and manage these
  e.g. answering every email as it comes in.
• Know your best time of day to do important
  thinking and your lowest point of the day to do
  routine tasks.

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2. Overcoming procrastination. Why do we put
things off repeatedly?

• Often we put things off because we dont know how
  to do them or they dont play to our strengths.
  Getting started often helps with procrastination.
  Once we have taken the first steps, we can then
  seek feedback to check if we are going along the
  right lines. If there are areas we feel unsure
  about the trick is to ask for help...they will be
  someone elses strengths.
• Creative silence helps with gaining perspective,
  solving problems and seeing connections.

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3. Feeling resourceful. What to do when its all
too much?

• Feeling resourceful is the mindset to have when
  you are feeling overwhelmed..
• Using the Plumbing system handout to prepare for
  stressful times. Who and what are your radiators
  and drains? Take this away and have a go at
  completing it.
• Recognise how your own strengths can be upturned
  when you are stressed. E.g. if you are highly
  organised then during stress you can become
  obsessively organised and expect everyone around
  you to be like this which can cause friction and
  affect relationships.
• Talk to colleagues, friends, a partner if you are
  feeling overwhelmed. A problem shared is a
  problem halved.

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4. Success tracking. Shouldnt I focus on whats
gone wrong?

• Success tracking is about keeping a daily diary
  of what has gone well rather than our usual focus
  of what has gone wrong. After a week, then two
  weeks, then a month of seeing progress and good
  things happening, it helps build a positive
  mindset and confidence that you are making
  progress. 
• Plus start mentioning some of the examples of
  success in your conversation at work. This is not
  about blowing your trumpet but doing yourself
  justice and building your reputation. Move the
  focus from whats gone wrong to whats gone right.

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Managing your communication to feel confident to
change things

• We can feel like second class citizens when we
  are talking to more senior and professional
  staff at schools and colleges. Especially if
  they are adopting their authoritarian style with
  you. If this is you, then that can be stressful.
  Instead we want you to feel valued and recognised
  for your contribution. We want you to know that
  others feel like this too! You are not alone.
  However there are things you can do as an
  Examination Officer.
• Aim is to assist you in adapting your
  communication skills to feel more assertive,
  confident and proactive.

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Confident Communication

• Turning your ideas for change into good
  conversations
• Using gender differences to help you
• Utilising body language to be assertive
• Visualising success

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1. Turning your ideas for change into good
conversations

• If and when you come up with ideas for change how
  do you convince senior teaching staff to listen?
• Do your thinking, come up with options with pros
  and cons and arrange a meeting to discuss.
  Present your ideas with options and identify any
  benefits for them. Ask for their opinions and
  listen.

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2. Using gender differences to help you

• So do gender differences matter and how do you
  manage them at work? Would it be helpful to know
  how the mind of a male Head-teacher works? Or a
  female one?
• As you know male and female brains are different.
  We think and process information differently.

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Females

• Are more effective at lying to males face to face
  because male brains are less skilled at spotting
  incongruencies between verbal and non verbal
  signals. 
• Use sensitivity in differentiating tone changes
  enabling them to hear emotional changes and so
  read between the lines.
•  
• Pick up the visual, vocal and body language
  signals e.g. who is talking to who and the
  subtleties behind this.

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Females

• Have two speech centres in their brain, enabling
  them to be good conversationalists! (Men have
  one) 
• Their brain is configured for multi-tasking
  because of the larger number of connections
  between the right and left. 
• Have less function to store and so problems go
  round and round in their head. Hence the need to
  talk about them!

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Males

•  Are not so equipped to hear or see details.
•  
• Have a specific brain location for sensing
  direction and so find navigation and orientation
  easy. Men have better spatial skills.
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• Own a more compartmentalised brain and prefer to
  focus on one thing at a time. At the end of a day
  full of problems, they can effectively file and
  store them all away.

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Tips to Manage differences at work

• Utilise female strength at an event to sense what
  is going on and what the undercurrents are.
• Tap into womens intuition and detect subtle mood
  and attitude changes in your team and peers.

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Tips to Manage differences at work

• Men have problem-solving minds and often feel
  with their own problems no need to share. With
  big problems not talking can lead to stress.
  Encourage male colleagues to talk about what is
  going on. Interestingly women are happy to share
  their problems but dont necessarily want advice
  but just to be listened to.
• To encourage male listening and success at
  meetings, use an agenda and advance notice. This
  appeals to their logic, they understand why you
  are meeting and how they can help solve issues.

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3. Utilising body language to be assertive

• When you want to have a conversation and
  influence a senior staff member and be listened
  to body language can help you. Which of these 3
  styles is more you?
• Circles of Energy model
• Dominant body language . More likely to posture
  with the chest and jut out the chin. Tends to
  shout or speak loudly. Talks more than listens.
  Appears arrogant. Energy flowing out. 

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Utilising body language to be assertive

• Passive body language. Stands with a more curved
  head and spine, looking down to the floor.
  Breathing less able to support voice projection.
  Appear to lack confidence. Energy flowing
  inwards 
• Assertive body language. Stands tall, breathes
  well, projects voice clearly without invading
  someones personal space. Listens as well as
  talks. Has good eye contact, smiles. Appears
  confident. Energy flowing in and out in balance.

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4. Visualising success for a confident
conversation

• So how do you prepare for a potentially stressful
  conversation or meeting? Heres how - Remember
  occasions in your past when you felt confident
  and successful. Perhaps when you had a really
  good meeting at work.
• Use this as your template, your visualisation for
  the future. Make this a big, bright image and
  similarly make memories of difficult
  conversations small, distant and grey.
• In the time leading up to an important
  conversation or meeting keep remembering the
  template, use the visualisation to help mentally
  prepare you. This really works. Try it!

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Managing Yourself

• Linda Denny