5. Cohesion and Coherence (Joseph M. Williams

1
5. Cohesion and Coherence (Joseph M. Williams
Stan Fields) Cohesion when pairs of sentences
fit neatly together. Principles of cohesion 1.
Begin sentences with information that is familiar
(the topic position). 2. End sentences with
information readers cannot anticipate (the
stress position). Some astonishing questions
about the nature of the universe have been raised
by scientists studying black holes in space. A
black hole is created by the collapse of a dead
star into a point perhaps no larger than a
marble. The TOPIC position Ideally, the Topic of
a sentence (what the sentence is about) will be
its grammatical subject. Not this It is likely
that our proposals will be accepted. This Our
proposals will likely be accepted. Coherence
when all of the individual sentences in a passage
support a larger point or claim. Principle of
coherence The topics of each sentence in the
passage should constitute a relatively small set
of related ideas.
2
5. Cohesion and Coherence (Joseph M. Williams
Stan Fields) Cohesion when pairs of sentences
fit neatly together. Principles of cohesion 1.
Begin sentences with information that is familiar
(the topic position). 2. End sentences with
information readers cannot anticipate (the
stress position). Some astonishing questions
about the nature of the universe have been raised
by scientists studying black holes in space. A
black hole is created by the collapse of a dead
star into a point perhaps no larger than a
marble. The TOPIC position Ideally, the Topic of
a sentence (what the sentence is about) will be
its grammatical subject. Not this It is likely
that our proposals will be accepted. This Our
proposals will likely be accepted. Coherence
when all of the individual sentences in a passage
support a larger point or claim. Principle of
coherence The topics of each sentence in the
passage should constitute a relatively small set
of related ideas.
3
5. Cohesion and Coherence (Joseph M. Williams
Stan Fields) Cohesion when pairs of sentences
fit neatly together. Principles of cohesion 1.
Begin sentences with information that is familiar
(the topic position). 2. End sentences with
information readers cannot anticipate (the
stress position). Some astonishing questions
about the nature of the universe have been raised
by scientists studying black holes in space. A
black hole is created by the collapse of a dead
star into a point perhaps no larger than a
marble. The TOPIC position Ideally, the Topic of
a sentence (what the sentence is about) will be
its grammatical subject. Not this It is likely
that our proposals will be accepted. This Our
proposals will likely be accepted. Coherence
when all of the individual sentences in a passage
support a larger point or claim. Principle of
coherence The topics of each sentence in the
passage should constitute a relatively small set
of related ideas.
4
5. Cohesion and Coherence (Joseph M. Williams
Stan Fields) Cohesion when pairs of sentences
fit neatly together. Principles of cohesion 1.
Begin sentences with information that is familiar
(the topic position). 2. End sentences with
information readers cannot anticipate (the
stress position). Some astonishing questions
about the nature of the universe have been raised
by scientists studying black holes in space. A
black hole is created by the collapse of a dead
star into a point perhaps no larger than a
marble. The TOPIC position Ideally, the Topic of
a sentence (what the sentence is about) will be
its grammatical subject. Not this It is likely
that our proposals will be accepted. This Our
proposals will likely be accepted. Coherence
when all of the individual sentences in a passage
support a larger point or claim. Principle of
coherence The topics of each sentence in the
passage should constitute a relatively small set
of related ideas.
5
Are the sentences in the following passages
cohesive? Are the passages coherent? Saynor,
Wisconsin, is the snowmobile capital of the
world. The buzzing of snowmobile engines fills
the air, and their tanklike tracks crisscross the
snow. The snow reminds me of moms mashed
potatoes, covered with furrows I would draw with
my fork. Her mashed potatoes usually make me
sick, thats why I play with them. I like to
make a hole in the middle of the potatoes and
fill it with melted butter. This behavior has
been the subject of long chats between me and my
analyst.
6
Are the sentences in the following passages
cohesive? Are the passages coherent? Hypophysect
omy (surgical removal of the pituitary)
dramatically reduces circulating growth hormone
(GH), insulin-like growth factor-1 (IGF-1), and
thyroid hormones, and can extend life span in
rats these effects are similar to those of the
Snell and Ames dwarf mutations in mice, which
genetically ablate these pituitary hormones.
Dwarf mice out-live normal controls and dwarfs
exhibit many forestalled phenotypes of aging.
But because these mutations confer lifelong
hormonal deficits that slow growth, alter
development and prevent reproduction, the
relationship of these models to normal mammalian
aging has been questioned. Furthermore, if the
life span extension of dwarf mice is dependent on
developmental abnormalities (especially at the
expense of fecundity), clinical relevance of
these models is limited. This interplay between
development and aging is difficult to assess in
mutant dwarf mice however, age-specific effects
can be defined in normal mice using
hypophysectomy.
7
Are the sentences in the following passages
cohesive? Are the passages coherent? Hypophysect
omy (surgical removal of the pituitary)
dramatically reduces circulating growth hormone
(GH), insulin-like growth factor-1 (IGF-1), and
thyroid hormones, and can extend life span in
rats these effects are similar to those of the
Snell and Ames dwarf mutations in mice, which
genetically ablate these pituitary hormones.
Dwarf mice out-live normal controls and dwarfs
exhibit many forestalled phenotypes of aging.
But because these mutations confer lifelong
hormonal deficits that slow growth, alter
development and prevent reproduction, the
relationship of these models to normal mammalian
aging has been questioned. Furthermore, if the
life span extension of dwarf mice is dependent on
developmental abnormalities (especially at the
expense of fecundity), clinical relevance of
these models is limited. This interplay between
development and aging is difficult to assess in
mutant dwarf mice however, age-specific effects
can be defined in normal mice using
hypophysectomy. Subjects/topics
8
Are the sentences in the following passages
cohesive? Are the passages coherent? Hypophysect
omy (surgical removal of the pituitary)
dramatically reduces circulating growth hormone
(GH), insulin-like growth factor-1 (IGF-1), and
thyroid hormones, and can extend life span in
rats these effects are similar to those of the
Snell and Ames dwarf mutations in mice, which
genetically ablate these pituitary hormones.
Dwarf mice out-live normal controls and dwarfs
exhibit many forestalled phenotypes of aging.
But because these mutations confer lifelong
hormonal deficits that slow growth, alter
development and prevent reproduction, the
relationship of these models to normal mammalian
aging has been questioned. Furthermore, if the
life span extension of dwarf mice is dependent on
developmental abnormalities (especially at the
expense of fecundity), clinical relevance of
these models is limited. This interplay between
development and aging is difficult to assess in
mutant dwarf mice however, age-specific effects
can be defined in normal mice using
hypophysectomy. Subjects/topics The surgical
removal of the pituitary, known as
hypophysectomy, dramatically reduces circulating
growth hormone (GH), insulin-like growth factor-1
(IGF-1), and thyroid hormones, and can extend
life span in rats its effects are similar to
those of the mouse Snell and Ames dwarf
mutations, which genetically ablate these
pituitary hormones. The Dwarf mutations result
in mice that out-live normal controls and exhibit
many forestalled phenotypes of aging. But these
mutations confer lifelong hormonal deficits that
slow growth, alter development and prevent
reproduction, and thus the mutant mice may be a
poor model for mammalian aging. Furthermore, if
the dwarf mice live longer solely because of
developmental abnormalities and reduced
fecundity, their relevance to clinical studies is
especially limited. Thus, dwarf mice are not
useful to assess the interplay between
development and aging, whereas normal mice that
have undergone hypophysectomy permit age-specific
effects to be defined.
9
Diagnosing your own writing 1. Do the first
seven or eight words of every sentence (and
clause) constitute a relatively small set of
related ideas? 2. Do those words name your most
important characters? 3. Are the topics of those
sentences the grammatical subjects? Is a
sequence of identical topics in a passage
monotonous?
10
Diagnosing your own writing 1. Do the first
seven or eight words of every sentence (and
clause) constitute a relatively small set of
related ideas? 2. Do those words name your most
important characters? 3. Are the topics of those
sentences the grammatical subjects? Is a
sequence of identical topics in a passage
monotonous? Probably not for the reader (in many
instances). For the sake of clarity, it is often
better to err on the side of consistency, than
variety.
11
Diagnosing your own writing 1. Do the first
seven or eight words of every sentence (and
clause) constitute a relatively small set of
related ideas? 2. Do those words name your most
important characters? 3. Are the topics of those
sentences the grammatical subjects? Is a
sequence of identical topics in a passage
monotonous? Probably not for the reader (in many
instances). For the sake of clarity, it is often
better to err on the side of consistency, than
variety. Some astonishing questions about the
nature of the universe have been raised by
scientists studying black holes in space. A
black hole is created by the collapse of a dead
star into a point perhaps no larger than a
marble. So much matter compressed into so little
volume changes the fabric of space around it in
puzzling ways. The next sentence in the above
passage could begin with a new but familiar
term Astronomers have recently reported, for
example, that
12
The STRESS position Readers want the Stress
position (the last few words of a sentence or
passage) to communicate i. Long and complex
phrases Not this A sociometric and actuarial
analysis of Social Security revenues and
disbursements for the last six decades to
determine changes in projecting deficits is the
subject of this study. This In this study, we
analyze Social Securitys revenues and
disbursements for the last six decades, using
sociometric and actuarial criteria to determine
changes in projecting deficits. ii. New
information, particularly unfamiliar technical
terms Not this lympokine-activated killer
(LAK) cells are lymphoid cells that can lyse
fresh, noncultured, natural-killer-cell-resistant
tumor cells but not normal cells and are produced
by incubating lymphocytes with the lympokine,
interleukin-2. This The incubation of
peripheral-blood lymphocytes with a lympokine,
interleukin-2, generates lymphoid cells that can
lyse fresh, noncultured, natural-killer-cell-resis
tant tumor cells but not normal cells. We term
these cells lympokine-activated killer (LAK)
cells.
13
iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
sentence) Some ways to manage endings for
emphasis A. Trim the end. Some sociobiologists
claim that our genes control our social behavior
in the way we act in situations we are in every
day.
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iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
sentence) Some ways to manage endings for
emphasis A. Trim the end. Some sociobiologists
claim that our genes control our social behavior
in the way we act in situations we are in every
day.
15
iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
sentence) Some ways to manage endings for
emphasis A. Trim the end. Some sociobiologists
claim that our genes control our social behavior.
16
iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
sentence) Some ways to manage endings for
emphasis A. Trim the end. Some sociobiologists
claim that our genes control our social
behavior. B. Shift peripheral ideas to the
left. The data offered to prove ESP are too weak
for the most part.
17
iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
sentence) Some ways to manage endings for
emphasis A. Trim the end. Some sociobiologists
claim that our genes control our social
behavior. B. Shift peripheral ideas to the
left. The data offered to prove ESP are too weak
for the most part.
18
iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
sentence) Some ways to manage endings for
emphasis A. Trim the end. Some sociobiologists
claim that our genes control our social
behavior. B. Shift peripheral ideas to the
left. The data offered to prove ESP are too weak
for the most part. ? For the most part, the data
offered to prove ESP are too weak.
19
iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
sentence) Some ways to manage endings for
emphasis A. Trim the end. Some sociobiologists
claim that our genes control our social
behavior. B. Shift peripheral ideas to the
left. The data offered to prove ESP are too weak
for the most part. ? For the most part, the data
offered to prove ESP are too weak. ? Sentences
are cohesive with one another when we see at the
beginning of a second sentence information that
appeared toward the end of the preceding sentence.
20

• iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
  sentence)
• Some ways to manage endings for emphasis
• A. Trim the end.
• Some sociobiologists claim that our genes control
  our social behavior.
• B. Shift peripheral ideas to the left.
• The data offered to prove ESP are too weak for
  the most part. ? For the most part, the data
  offered to prove ESP are too weak.
• ? Sentences are cohesive with one another when we
  see at the beginning of a second sentence
  information that appeared toward the end of the
  preceding sentence.
• Passages are coherent when we see that the topics
  of each sentence in the passage constitute a
  relatively small set of related ideas.

21

• iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
  sentence)
• Some ways to manage endings for emphasis
• A. Trim the end.
• Some sociobiologists claim that our genes control
  our social behavior.
• B. Shift peripheral ideas to the left.
• The data offered to prove ESP are too weak for
  the most part. ? For the most part, the data
  offered to prove ESP are too weak.
• ? Sentences are cohesive with one another when we
  see at the beginning of a second sentence
  information that appeared toward the end of the
  preceding sentence.
• Passages are coherent when we see that the topics
  of each sentence in the passage constitute a
  relatively small set of related ideas.
• From last weeks class
• In a clear sentence, the main characters (flesh
  and blood or abstract) are subjects and most of
  the verbs name the actions of the characters.

22

• iii. Emphasis (the significant information in the
  sentence)
• Some ways to manage endings for emphasis
• A. Trim the end.
• Some sociobiologists claim that our genes control
  our social behavior.
• B. Shift peripheral ideas to the left.
• The data offered to prove ESP are too weak for
  the most part. ? For the most part, the data
  offered to prove ESP are too weak.
• ? Sentences are cohesive with one another when we
  see at the beginning of a second sentence
  information that appeared toward the end of the
  preceding sentence.
• Passages are coherent when we see that the topics
  of each sentence in the passage constitute a
  relatively small set of related ideas.
• From last weeks class
• In a clear sentence, the main characters (flesh
  and blood or abstract) are subjects and most of
  the verbs name the actions of the characters.
• (ideally, the Topic of a sentence (what the
  sentence is about) will be its grammatical
  subject)

23
7. Parallel Structure (http//faculty.washington.e
du/ezent/imsc.htm, Michael Alley Robert A.
Day) The parallel structure of a sentence refers
to the extent to which different parts of the
sentence match each other in form. In a series,
all of the items should be alike, whether all
nouns, all gerunds, all phrases or all clauses.
If a series of verbs is used, they should all be
in the same tense, voice and mood Examples The
process involves three steps Cooling, chopping
and pulverization.
24
7. Parallel Structure (http//faculty.washington.e
du/ezent/imsc.htm, Michael Alley Robert A.
Day) The parallel structure of a sentence refers
to the extent to which different parts of the
sentence match each other in form. In a series,
all of the items should be alike, whether all
nouns, all gerunds, all phrases or all clauses.
If a series of verbs is used, they should all be
in the same tense, voice and mood Examples The
process involves three steps Cooling, chopping
and pulverization. Cooling and chopping are
gerunds, but pulverization is a
nominalization. Change to The process involves
three steps Cooling, chopping and pulverizing.
25
7. Parallel Structure (http//faculty.washington.e
du/ezent/imsc.htm, Michael Alley Robert A.
Day) The parallel structure of a sentence refers
to the extent to which different parts of the
sentence match each other in form. In a series,
all of the items should be alike, whether all
nouns, all gerunds, all phrases or all clauses.
If a series of verbs is used, they should all be
in the same tense, voice and mood Examples The
process involves three steps Cooling, chopping
and pulverization. Cooling and chopping are
gerunds, but pulverization is a
nominalization. Change to The process involves
three steps Cooling, chopping and
pulverizing. In the last minute of the game,
John intercepted the football, evaded the
tacklers, and a touchdown was scored.
26
7. Parallel Structure (http//faculty.washington.e
du/ezent/imsc.htm, Michael Alley Robert A.
Day) The parallel structure of a sentence refers
to the extent to which different parts of the
sentence match each other in form. In a series,
all of the items should be alike, whether all
nouns, all gerunds, all phrases or all clauses.
If a series of verbs is used, they should all be
in the same tense, voice and mood Examples The
process involves three steps Cooling, chopping
and pulverization. Cooling and chopping are
gerunds, but pulverization is a
nominalization. Change to The process involves
three steps Cooling, chopping and
pulverizing. In the last minute of the game,
John intercepted the football, evaded the
tacklers, and a touchdown was scored. The first
two phrases in this sentence are in the active
voice "intercepted the football" and "evaded the
tacklers." However, the final phrase is in the
passive voice "and a touchdown was
scored. Change to In the last minute of the
game, John intercepted the football, evaded the
tacklers, and scored a touchdown.
27
7. Parallel Structure (http//faculty.washington.e
du/ezent/imsc.htm, Michael Alley Robert A.
Day) The parallel structure of a sentence refers
to the extent to which different parts of the
sentence match each other in form. In a series,
all of the items should be alike, whether all
nouns, all gerunds, all phrases or all clauses.
If a series of verbs is used, they should all be
in the same tense, voice and mood Examples The
process involves three steps Cooling, chopping
and pulverization. Cooling and chopping are
gerunds, but pulverization is a
nominalization. Change to The process involves
three steps Cooling, chopping and
pulverizing. In the last minute of the game,
John intercepted the football, evaded the
tacklers, and a touchdown was scored. The first
two phrases in this sentence are in the active
voice "intercepted the football" and "evaded the
tacklers." However, the final phrase is in the
passive voice "and a touchdown was
scored. Change to In the last minute of the
game, John intercepted the football, evaded the
tacklers, and scored a touchdown. The new coach
is a smart strategist, an effective manager, and
works hard.
28
7. Parallel Structure (http//faculty.washington.e
du/ezent/imsc.htm, Michael Alley Robert A.
Day) The parallel structure of a sentence refers
to the extent to which different parts of the
sentence match each other in form. In a series,
all of the items should be alike, whether all
nouns, all gerunds, all phrases or all clauses.
If a series of verbs is used, they should all be
in the same tense, voice and mood Examples The
process involves three steps Cooling, chopping
and pulverization. Cooling and chopping are
gerunds, but pulverization is a
nominalization. Change to The process involves
three steps Cooling, chopping and
pulverizing. In the last minute of the game,
John intercepted the football, evaded the
tacklers, and a touchdown was scored. The first
two phrases in this sentence are in the active
voice "intercepted the football" and "evaded the
tacklers." However, the final phrase is in the
passive voice "and a touchdown was
scored. Change to In the last minute of the
game, John intercepted the football, evaded the
tacklers, and scored a touchdown. The new coach
is a smart strategist, an effective manager, and
works hard. "A smart strategist" and "an
effective manager" are consistent with one
another in form, but not consistent with "works
hard." Change to The new coach is a smart
strategist, an effective manager, and a hard
worker.
29
8. Subject Verb agreement (http//www.ucalgary.ca/
UofC/eduweb/grammar/) General Rule When the
subject of the sentence is singular, the verb
must be singular when the subject of the
sentence is plural, the verb must be plural.
Ignore words, phrases or clauses between the
subject and the verb.
30
8. Subject Verb agreement (http//www.ucalgary.ca/
UofC/eduweb/grammar/) General Rule When the
subject of the sentence is singular, the verb
must be singular when the subject of the
sentence is plural, the verb must be plural.
Ignore words, phrases or clauses between the
subject and the verb. Examples One man out of
five uses an after shave.
31
8. Subject Verb agreement (http//www.ucalgary.ca/
UofC/eduweb/grammar/) General Rule When the
subject of the sentence is singular, the verb
must be singular when the subject of the
sentence is plural, the verb must be plural.
Ignore words, phrases or clauses between the
subject and the verb. Examples One man out of
five uses an after shave.
32
8. Subject Verb agreement (http//www.ucalgary.ca/
UofC/eduweb/grammar/) General Rule When the
subject of the sentence is singular, the verb
must be singular when the subject of the
sentence is plural, the verb must be plural.
Ignore words, phrases or clauses between the
subject and the verb. Examples One man out of
five uses an after shave. A collective noun may
be either SINGULAR or PLURAL depending on whether
you mean the individuals or the group The group
is united on the subject of abortion. The group,
all ten of them, have different opinions. Little
Women is a novel of great sentimentality.
33
8. Subject Verb agreement (http//www.ucalgary.ca/
UofC/eduweb/grammar/) General Rule When the
subject of the sentence is singular, the verb
must be singular when the subject of the
sentence is plural, the verb must be plural.
Ignore words, phrases or clauses between the
subject and the verb. Examples One man out of
five uses an after shave. A collective noun may
be either SINGULAR or PLURAL depending on whether
you mean the individuals or the group The group
is united on the subject of abortion. The group,
all ten of them, have different opinions. Little
Women is a novel of great sentimentality. When
the conjunction "and" joins two or more subjects
(whether singular or plural) the verb must be
PLURAL The boy and his sister go to the same
school.
34
8. Subject Verb agreement (http//www.ucalgary.ca/
UofC/eduweb/grammar/) General Rule When the
subject of the sentence is singular, the verb
must be singular when the subject of the
sentence is plural, the verb must be plural.
Ignore words, phrases or clauses between the
subject and the verb. Examples One man out of
five uses an after shave. A collective noun may
be either SINGULAR or PLURAL depending on whether
you mean the individuals or the group The group
is united on the subject of abortion. The group,
all ten of them, have different opinions. Little
Women is a novel of great sentimentality. When
the conjunction "and" joins two or more subjects
(whether singular or plural) the verb must be
PLURAL The boy and his sister go to the same
school. If "either/or" or "neither/nor" joins
two subjects, the verb agrees in number with the
nearer SUBJECT Neither my mother nor her friends
attend the class. Either oranges or a lemon is
used in that recipe.
35
The indefinite pronouns another, each, either,
none and neither as well as those ending in -one,
-body, -thing are always singular and take a
singular verb Each of my friends feels sorry for
my plight. None of us knows the answer to the
question.
36
The indefinite pronouns another, each, either,
none and neither as well as those ending in -one,
-body, -thing are always singular and take a
singular verb Each of my friends feels sorry for
my plight. None of us knows the answer to the
question. The definite pronouns all, any, most,
more, and some take a singular verb if they refer
to a singular portion of a whole or a plural verb
if they refer to more than one Some of the cake
remains on the plate for you. Some of my
schoolmates like to dance all night.
37
9. Pronoun ambiguity (Michael Alley) Examples Be
cause the receiver presented the radiometer with
a high-flux environment, it was mounted in a
silver-plated stainless steel container.
38
9. Pronoun ambiguity (Michael Alley) Examples Be
cause the receiver presented the radiometer with
a high-flux environment, it was mounted in a
silver-plated stainless steel container. What is
mounted in the container the receiver? the
radiometer? the high-flux environment?
39
9. Pronoun ambiguity (Michael Alley) Examples Be
cause the receiver presented the radiometer with
a high-flux environment, it was mounted in a
silver-plated stainless steel container. What is
mounted in the container the receiver? the
radiometer? the high-flux environment? There are
no peaks in the olefinic region. Therefore, no
significant concentration of olefinic
hydrocarbons exist in fresh oil. This places an
upper limit on the concentration of olefins, no
more than 0.01 percent
40
9. Pronoun ambiguity (Michael Alley) Examples Be
cause the receiver presented the radiometer with
a high-flux environment, it was mounted in a
silver-plated stainless steel container. What is
mounted in the container the receiver? the
radiometer? the high-flux environment? There are
no peaks in the olefinic region. Therefore, no
significant concentration of olefinic
hydrocarbons exist in fresh oil. This places an
upper limit on the concentration of olefins, no
more than 0.01 percent What does This refer
to the noun at the end of the preceding sentence
(fresh oil)? the subject of the preceding
sentence (no significant concentration of
olefinic hydrocarbons)? the first sentence in
this passage (no peaks in the olefinic region)?
41
9. Pronoun ambiguity (Michael Alley) Examples Be
cause the receiver presented the radiometer with
a high-flux environment, it was mounted in a
silver-plated stainless steel container. What is
mounted in the container the receiver? the
radiometer? the high-flux environment? There are
no peaks in the olefinic region. Therefore, no
significant concentration of olefinic
hydrocarbons exist in fresh oil. This places an
upper limit on the concentration of olefins, no
more than 0.01 percent What does This refer
to the noun at the end of the preceding sentence
(fresh oil)? the subject of the preceding
sentence (no significant concentration of
olefinic hydrocarbons)? the first sentence in
this passage (no peaks in the olefinic
region)? This was actually intended to refer
to the lack of peaks in the olefinic
region. Change to The chromatogram has no peaks
in the olefinic region. Therefore, no
significant concentration of olefinic
hydrocarbons exist in fresh oil. This
chromatogram finding places an upper limit on the
concentration of olefins, no more than 0.01
percent