Opening%20a%20negotiation:%20language

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Opening a negotiation language

• Greetings
• Introductions, if necessary
• Small talk, in most cases
• Getting comfortable, if necessary (drinks,
  sitting down)
• Transition to negotiation (setting agenda)
• Establishing positions
• (establishing good lines of communication)

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Interactional Style what is it?

• A persons habitual, often subconscious, patterns
  of acting and speaking in interaction with other
  people

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Interactional style dimensions
More indirect style
More direct style
Possible miscommunication
Feels confused, impatient
Feels offended, pushed
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Interactional style is influenced by

• Wider culture
• Community norms
• Family norms
• Individual personality
• Education, school and work
• Immediate context/situation
• Mood, health

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Lets try another dimension of style

• Find one partner
• One person in the pair sit with your back to this
  screen (so you cant see it). You will be
  talking about a recent trip you took (for
  vacation or work) for 3 minutes.
• Other person While your partner is talking,
  MAKE LESS EYE CONTACT than is usual for you.
  Otherwise, try to act normally.

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Interactional style dimensions
Less eye contact
More eye contact
Possible miscommunication
Feels other doesnt care
Feels other is aggressive
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Interactional style dimensions
Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk
More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk
Possible miscommunication
Talks all the time, trying to fill the awkward
silences
Rarely talks cant get a word in edgewise
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Interactional style dimensions
Information should be volunteered
Ask questions to get information
Possible miscommunication
Asks all the questions, Waits for questions,
feels other doesnt care about him/her
Waits for other to volunteer information feels
interrogated
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Interactional style dimensions
Less pitch variation
Wide pitch variation
Possible miscommunication
Thinks other is boring, disinterested
Thinks other is overly emotional, excitable
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Interactional style dimensions
Less use of gesture, body movement
Frequent use of gesture, body movement
Possible miscommunication
Feels other is disinterested, uninspired
Feels other is overly excitable, unprofessional
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Interactional style dimensions
Softer voice
Louder voice
Possible miscommunication
Feels other is timid, shy, or possibly weak
Feels other is aggressive, annoying
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Interactional style dimensions
Infrequent backchannels
Frequent backchannels
Possible miscommunication
Feels other is disinterested, or doesnt
understand
Feels other is interrupting, disruptive
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Interactional style dimensions
Speaks only after thinking
Speaks as part of thinking
Possible miscommunication
Thinks other is too cautious, conservative, not a
quick thinker
Thinks other is too impulsive, not careful, not
trustworthy
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What can be done? Some options

• Be aware of possible style differences
• Dont assume you know the others styles
• Stay observant in the interaction rather than
  judgmental
• Try to identify style differences if they occur.
• Try to adjust your style somewhat
• Occasionally check in with the others are they
  comfortable with the interaction?
• Talk explicitly about style differences name
  the problem

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Be aware of possible style differences

• Before you begin a negotiation (or any
  interaction with a new person), be aware that
  that person may have different patterns of
  negotiating than you do. These patterns may be
  consciously employed, or subconsciously employed,
  or some mix of each. They may be intended to
  have a negative effect on you, or they may be
  intended to have a positive effect (though the
  actual effect may not match the intended
  effect!). Just being aware of the possibility of
  difference is the first step.

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Dont make assumptions about the others styles

• Before you begin a negotiation, find out as much
  as you can about the other parties involved, as
  we discussed regarding preparation. Making
  possible predictions about their behavior is
  helpful, but dont make assumptions about them or
  their styles based on cultural background, for
  example. You may be wrong and caught unawares.

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Stay observant in the interaction rather than
judgmental

• During the negotiation, remain aware of the
  process as well as the content of the
  negotiation. What patterns of interaction are
  emerging in the negotiation? Who is talking, not
  talking, what is the body language of everyone
  involved, etc. Ask yourself, how do I feel about
  what is happening, and what can I do about it
  that will be productive to this process?

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Try to identify specific style differences if
they occur

• Once you identify differences, they may not
  affect you as negatively.
• For example, if you find yourself being
  interrupted often, notice this, and think about
  it. The person may be intending to disrupt you,
  or may simply have a style that allows and
  expects interruption. Instead of getting angry
  and/or withdrawing from the interaction, stay
  calm and focused and make sure you return to your
  own points after you are interrupted.

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Try to adjust your own style somewhat

• For example, if you find yourself being
  interrupted a lot, another option is to try
  calmly but firmly holding the floor when you are
  interrupted (i.e. dont stop talking), instead of
  instantly relinquishing the floor. Likewise, if
  they are talking a lot, you can try politely
  interrupting them Excuse me, may I just say
  something here. Avoid becoming increasingly
  quiet because you feel overwhelmed or angry.

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Occasionally check in with the others are they
comfortable with the interaction?

• (This is particularly important if you are trying
  to establish or maintain a longer-term
  relationship).
• If you suspect that your style may be dominating
  their style (because they are getting quiet,
  looking frustrated, etc.), you can explicitly ask
  them some questions. E.g.,Are you feeling
  comfortable with this decision? How do you feel
  about these terms? Have you had enough chance to
  discuss your concerns?

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Talk explicitly about what is happening name
the problem

• For example, if you find yourself being
  interrupted a lot, try saying, Excuse me, sorry
  to interrupt, but I feel like Im having a hard
  time getting a word in. Could I take a few
  minutes to explain my perspective on this? If
  they are interrupting with no intention of
  disrupting you, then you have just helped to
  raise their awareness of what is happening. If
  they indeed are interrupting you to disrupt you,
  you have just politely asserted your right to not
  be treated this way.