A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS

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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE

• A Minor Hockey Toolbox for Parents

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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
A. Educate Educate the
masses National Programs Branch
Initiatives District/MHA Delivery

• B. Create and Communicate
• Association Philosophies
• Team selection
• Ice time
• Code of Conduct
• All involved including parents
• Remember We cant expect people to act within
  our expectations if we dont let them know what
  our expectations are!

Coaches
Players
Parents
Officials
Safety People
Volunteers

• C. Engage
• Create Solid Partnerships
• Get parents involved
• Strong parent/coach relationships

D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution
E. Resolve Formal Response to
Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction
consistently
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A- Educate
A. Educate Educate the
masses National Programs Branch
Initiatives District/MHA Delivery
Chevrolet Safe and Fun Parents
Approach Seminars

• Easy to deliver
• Can be hosted in less than 1 hour
• -add District/MHA philosophies and codes of
  conduct
• Host at registration, or through the coach at the
  first team meeting!
• All materials including manuals are free of
  charge

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A- Educate
A. Educate Educate the
masses National Programs Branch
Initiatives District/MHA Delivery
Chevrolet Safe and Fun Parents
Approach Seminars

• Emphasizes parents relationships with
• - players
• coaches
• parents
• officials
• Minor Hockey Associations
• Other important information as it relates to
  being a parent in the game including identifying
  general EXPECTATIONS!

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A- Educate
A. Educate Educate the
masses National Programs Branch
Initiatives District/MHA Delivery
Resource Tools to Educate the Masses

• Branch/District/MHA Constitution/Operations
  Manual
• AGM Focus Groups
• National Hockey Parent Day
• Safe and Fun Program
• Safety for All
• PSA Programming
• Development Programming
• Branch Programming
• Parent Handbook To be Completed

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE B- Create and Communicate

• B. Create and Communicate
• Association Philosophies
• Team selection
• Ice time
• Code of Conduct
• All involved including parents
• Remember We cant expect people to act within
  our expectations if we dont let them know what
  our expectations are!

• District/MHA Philosophy
• Educate your coaches for consistency
• Frame the need for your coaches to have parent
  meetings to clarify philosophies on
• Ice time
• Player rotation with respect to positions
• Respect of officials
• Shift length
• Pre and post game routines

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE B- Create and Communicate

• B. Create and Communicate
• Association Philosophies
• Team selection
• Ice time
• Code of Conduct
• All involved including parents
• Remember We cant expect people to act within
  our expectations if we dont let them know what
  our expectations are!

• Codes of Conduct/Behaviour
• Guidelines for acceptable and unacceptable
  behaviour
• Provide the foundation for accountability of the
  membership when enforcing a sanction becomes a
  reality
• Keep your code simple and straight forward
• Pledge forms can be effective in communicating
  your code
• Communicate your code whenever you can
• Alberta SMART Program a great template!
• Remember We cant expect people to act within
  our expectations if we dont let them know what
  our expectations are!

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE B- Create and Communicate

• B. Create and Communicate
• Association Philosophies
• Team selection
• Ice time
• Code of Conduct
• All involved including parents
• Remember We cant expect people to act within
  our expectations if we dont let them know what
  our expectations are!

• Resource Tools to Create and Communicate
• Branch/District/MHA Constitution/Operations
  Manual
• PSA Programming such as Relax...
• Codes of Conduct
• Guiding Principles for Parents of Value
• Roles and Responsibilities for Parents of Value
• Alberta SMART Program
• BCAHA Team First Program
• Dartmouth Fair Play Program
• Franc Jeu Program
• Parent Approach Manual
• Parent Handbook To be Completed

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage

• C. ENGAGE
• Create Solid Partnerships
• Get parents involved
• Strong parent/coach relationships

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage

• C. ENGAGE
• Create Solid Partnerships
• Get parents involved
• Strong parent/coach relationships

• Their Childs
• Development

• Team

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage
So what can we do to positively deal with
parents?
March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage

• COMMUNICATION

• Team Meetings
• Pre Season
• Mid- Season
• End Of Season
• Special Meetings

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage

• C. ENGAGE
• Create Solid Partnerships
• Get parents involved
• Strong parent/coach relationships

Stress to parents that they need to

• Encourage kids to participate and respect
  their choices
• Enjoy their participation and focus on new
  skills, improving performance and having fun
• Support our players emotionally by helping
  them to deal with fear, anger, guilt,
  embarrassment and happiness

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage

• C. ENGAGE
• Create Solid Partnerships
• Get parents involved
• Strong parent/coach relationships

Teach coaches to encourage parents to

• Discuss concerns with them with the intent of
  helping positively address the situation
• Model respectful behaviour for their children
• Communicate in a professional and courteous
  manner
• Ask questions if they are unsure

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage

• C. ENGAGE
• Create Solid Partnerships
• Get parents involved
• Strong parent/coach relationships

• Resource Tools to Engage in Creating Solid
  Relationships
• NCCP Team Meeting
• Safe and Fun Parents Approach Seminar
• Branch Mentorship Programs
• Evaluation Templates

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond
D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution
Solving minor issues at the team level..before
things escalate!

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond
D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution

• Conflict is inevitable but anger and grudges
  are not!
• Conflict resolution is important but people
  taking responsibility for their own behaviour
  is more important.
• When conflict does occur how we respond
  determines if a conflict escalates or is
  resolved.
• Recognizing your own personal power can
  influence how you deal with conflict.

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond
D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution

• Every conflict has two components
• How people think
• How people feel
• To resolve conflict we need to
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  consider how people feel (their emotions)
• The key is to avoid escalation of a
  disagreement
• Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away
  to let the other person cool down
• The expression of anger and how each person
  manages their anger will determine how intense
  the conflict becomes

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond
D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution

• Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy
  human emotion.
• Out of control anger is destructive.
• Anger is an emotional state that varies from
  mild irritation to intense fury and rage.
• When you get angry, your heart rate, blood
  pressure and hormone levels increase. These
  determine your response.

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond
D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution

• HOW TO DIFFUSE ANGER?
• Before you speak or do anything else, stay cool
  and calm
• Take several slow, deep breaths and relax for a
  few seconds to slow down your heart rate
• Take a few seconds to think about how you can
  diffuse the situation and avoid a confrontation
• Maintain eye contact and watch your body
  posture
• It is okay to walk away from this fight
• Consider all the options for responding and
  their possible results
• IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT WHEN
  EITHER PERSON IS ANGRY. TAKE A BREAK AND ATTEMPT
  TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT LATER, IF APPROPRIATE.

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond
D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution

• Acknowledge what you have heard and the other
  persons position
• Ask for clarification to understand their
  reason or rationale
• Summarize what you have heard and verify that
  this is correct
• State your position IF the person is ready to
  listen
• State what points you agree on
• State points of disagreement
• When the person responds, acknowledge what they
  have said
• Continue until you have resolved the issue or
  agreed to disagree
• Bring in a neutral person if possible

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond
D. Respond Informal Response to
Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution

• Resource Tools to Respond
• Branch Mentorship Programs
• Informal Meeting of the Parties
• Conflict Resolution Training To Be Completed
• Ombudsman

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve
E. Resolve Formal Response to
Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction
consistently

• If all the steps we just talked about are put in
  place the number of formal complaints should be
  reduced, however
• We must be prepared to deal with formal
  complaints in a fair, consistent manner!

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve
E. Resolve Formal Response to
Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction
consistently

• Policies and procedures provide a road map for
  your MHA.
• Should reflect the philosophies of your MHA.
• Provide continuity to the activities of the
  organization.
• Ensure consistency if followed appropriately.
• Help to identify the expected behaviour in an
  organization.
• Include a complaint handling procedure.

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve
E. Resolve Formal Response to
Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction
consistently

• Complaint Procedures
• Your association needs to define a process as to
  how complaints will be handled.

What triggers a complaint investigation
The reporting of unacceptable behaviour by a
director, spectator, coach, player, parent, or
official Clear definitions of unacceptable
behaviour
The reporting process The completion of an
incident report form
The method of enforcement Provide a description
of who has the power to assess discipline in the
association This could include getting facility
owners concurrence and support for discipline
The method to be used to handle the
complaint Process should include an appeals
process
Include this in the association bylaws as they
are the governing documents of the association
March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve
E. Resolve Formal Response to
Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction
consistently

• Ensure you have procedures that are fair
• Know and follow association procedures
• Identify expected behaviour
• Use good judgment when sanctions are necessary
• Communicate!

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve
E. Resolve Formal Response to
Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction
consistently

• Resource Tools to Resolve by Formal Response to
  Complaints
• Branch/District/MHA Constitutions
• Branch/District/MHA complaint policies and
  procedures such as Game and Conduct Management,
  SMART, Team First
• Minor Hockey Association Survey

March 7, 2006
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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette

• At one point during a game, the coach called one
  of his 7 year oldhockey players aside and asked,
  "Do you understand what cooperation is?What a
  team is?"
• The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette

• Do you understand that what matters is not
  whether we win or lose, but how we play together
  as a team?"
• The little boy nodded yes.

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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette

• "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know,
  when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue,
  curse, attack the referee, or call him a jerk. Do
  you understand all that?"
• Again the little boy nodded.

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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette

• The coach continued, "And when I call you off
  the ice so that anotherboy gets a chance to
  play, it's not good sportsmanship to callyour
  coach 'a dumb jerk', is it?''
• Again the little boy nodded.

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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette

• "Good," said the coach.
• Now go over there and explain all that to
  your mother and father!

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A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS THE
PRESENTATION TEMPLATE
Any comments or suggestions to improve this
template, please contact any member of the Hockey
Canada Parent Education Committee Mike
Bruni Chair Joe Drago Frank
Lento Dr. Vern Stenlund Jack
Forsyth Brian Whitehead Joe Kompon
Todd Jackson Hockey Canada
Staff